Pocky and Promises
by Shadows of Starlight
Summary: I hate summaries, but here goes. Shuichi and Yuki's relationship takes a drastic turn for the worse one night, and Shuichi gets the hell out of dodge. Bloody, and broken, who will he turn to now? Ryuichi x Shuichi, rated M for a reason. Chapter 13 up!
1. Angels and Alcohol

Pocky and Promises

Chapter 1: Angels and Alcohol

Disclaimer: No, I do not own Gravitation, I only own this plot line na do na. (Eek, apparently I've been reading/watching a little too much Gravitation lately if I'm starting to talk like Ryuichi….)

Nineteen-year-old Shindou Shuichi was utterly exhausted. Around midnight, even K, the Energizer bunny from hell with an abnormal infatuation for weapons, had succumbed to the lure of sleep. At that point, Shuichi had believed them to be in the clear, but no, damn Fujisaki Suguru had to step in and take his place, driving the other members of Bad Luck in his stead. Four hours later, Shuichi, hoarse from singing so long, and eyes watery and blood shot, had confiscated one of the guns on K's person, and in a steady voice, leveled it to face his younger band mate and spoke in a considerably sane voice given the time of night.

"Fujisaki-san, " Shuichi began in an unnervingly polite way, "we are going to stop practicing right now, and I am going to go home and cuddle in bed with Yuki. If you make any protests, or any attempts to stop me, I'm afraid," here Shuichi paused, placing the gun against Suguru's trembling lips, "I'm afraid that I'll have to kill you, and leave you for Seguchi-san to sort out in the morning. Do I make myself clear?" he asked, tilting his shocking pink head to the side, leaving no room for argument.

Staring at a delusional Shuichi with one of K's guns at his mouth, Suguru really had no choice in the matter. For while his cousin was capable of anything, his ability to resurrect the dead had not yet been tested, and personally, Suguru did not wish to be the first, therefore, he smiled as best he could with the barrel of a gun to his lips, and nudged it away carefully before nodding and backing away slowly from the crazy man with the gun. Although he dearly wanted to run like there was a rabid dog, or in this case, rabid Shuichi on his tail, he knew that his only chance was to be very slow and cautious; everyone knew that running only attracted the attention of rabid Shuichi's.

With the retreat of Suguru, Shuichi sighed and returned the gun to its place with K, grateful that the American man had not woken. K tended to be very protective of his "children." Shuichi now regarded the last member of their band, Nakano Hiroshi.

"Care to give me a ride back to Yuki's, ne Hiro?" Shuichi asked, stretching his sore muscles.

Hiro's eyebrow twitched, but then he smiled and shrugged, removing his jacket as well as Shuichi's from the chair back in the recording room.

"Don't you think you could have gone a little easier on Suguru though, Shuichi?" Hiro asked as they approached the elevator, stepping inside when the dismal chime alerted them to the arrival of the device.

Shuichi rolled his lovely violet eyes, and reached into his pocket to withdraw a stick of strawberry pocky from the box, placing it in his mouth. "Are you saying you wanted to stay here until it was time to come back? Even Seguchi-san left to go home, I'd say enough is enough," here he paused to regard his best friend." Hiro, if I didn't know better, I'd say you were concerned about Suguru," he gasped, and playfully jabbed the red-headed guitarist in the ribs," Hiro, have you been keeping a secret from me? You like Suguru!" he half-shouted, giggling like a conspiring schoolgirl.

Hiro stared blankly at his friend of many years, before placing a hand on the side of Shuichi's head against the wall of the elevator, and leaning a little closer. "Now Shuichi, what ever would give you that idea?" he asked, breaking off an end of the pocky in Shuichi's mouth, and licking the candy before eating a piece himself. "You know you're the only one for me," he finished, kissing Shuichi's cheek fondly, vastly amused when Shuichi began to panic.

"H-hiro, you know you're my best friend, but I love Yuki!" the vocalist protested, blushing like mad and baffled by his friend's behavior.

Hiro drew back with a grin. "You know I'm just messing with you Shuichi."

Shuichi shook his head, "It's too early for this stuff Hiro," he mumbled, and they reached the ground level of N-G, stepping out into the lobby, each pulling their jackets tighter upon opening the main glass double doors and being greeted by the suddenly harsh wind of Tokyo.

They made haste to Hiro's motorcycle, putting on helmets, and Shuichi all but clung to his best friend's back as the redhead zipped down the deserted streets. A few near misses aside, it was a rather uneventful trip, and Shuichi dozed lightly until they reached Yuki's apartment complex.

Hiro brought the bike to a halt, nudging the vocalist awake. Shuichi stretched and got off slowly.

"See you tomorrow," he muttered.

"Or rather later today," Hiro supplied.

"Don't remind me," Shuichi groaned, "if they expect us in at eight-thirty they've got another thing coming. Ja."

"Good night," Hiro said before donning the helmet again, stowing Shuichi's for later use, and heading home.

Shuichi stumbled up the stairs, slightly tripping as he went, and cursed under his breath as he searched for the key in his pocket. Everything became a royal production when you were exhausted, he mused, finally locating the key and opening the door on silent hinges. He felt a little uncomfortable, as he'd been unable to call and warn Yuki of the maniacs he had to work under, but surely the novelist would understand. Seguchi-san _was _his brother-in-law after all. Besides, he reasoned as he stepped out of his shoes and re-locked the door behind him, if Yuki had been worried, he would only have needed to call the blonde president to discover Shuichi's whereabouts. He chuckled softly, Yuki, worry, now that was an amusing thought.

Shuichi drug himself into the bathroom, eager to brush his teeth and sleep for the next week. Even K's death threats under fire wouldn't rouse him today. He wet his toothbrush and cleaned up with his eyes half closed, otherwise he might have seen the dim red glow of an ember reflected in the mirror.

Satisfied, Shuichi shuffled into the living room, never more pleased with the thought of the couch than tonight. He'd have dearly loved to crawl beside Yuki, but the grumpy author would be supremely pissed to be awoken at this hour. Shuichi dropped onto the cushions, ready for sleep, when he encountered something hard and, breathing? He sat up rapidly, and turned to face the spark of a burning cigarette indicating Yuki's presence. Holy crap, Yuki had waited up for him!

A small amount of energy broke through the haze over Shuichi's brain, and he attempted to hug the space where he presumed Yuki's chest to be.

"Yuki," he said, infusing what excitement into his voice that he could," I can't believe you stayed up for me. Did you miss me?" he asked, noting the smell of alcohol on the other's breath, mixed with the smoke the author exhaled like carbon dioxide.

Yuki's voice was deadly calm as he spoke, and its tone gave Shuichi a chill. "Where have you been?"

Blinking in confusion, Shuichi stuttered in response, "I was at the studio Yuki."

Tears sprang to his bleary violet eyes when Yuki simultaneously extinguished the cigarette in the ashtray, and yanked Shuichi's hair in a painful grip.

"Don't lie to me brat, where were you? I won't repeat myself again," Yuki spat, drawing the now slightly shaking Shuichi closer, sniffing his neck.

"What the hell?" Shuichi questioned, quite awake now, and trying to push Yuki away. "I told you, I was at the studio. What's wrong with you?"

The blonde snapped, shoving Shuichi into the couch. "You smell like another man's cologne. Tell me, did he fuck you like I do? Kiss you like I do?"

Shuichi shuddered. "I don't know what you're talking about. I got a ride home with Hiro like I normally do when it gets late, so if I smell like him a little it's-" he was cut off by the smack of Yuki's hand across his face.

Shocked into silence, the singer stared in disbelief at his enraged blonde lover. He had never seen Yuki so angry. Shuichi touched his enflamed cheek, and attempted to get away. With a snarl, Yuki grabbed Shuichi's arm and threw him to the floor, effectively pinning him beneath his greater strength and weight. Shuichi heard, and felt, a sickening snap when his shoulder was dislocated, and cried out in pain when Yuki's weight was wedged against it.

"Stop it Yuki, you're hurting me!" he shouted, afraid of his lover for the first time.

Yuki fisted a hand in Shuichi's pink hair, and forced him to face the irrational novelist. "Hurting you?" he asked, his other hand pressing hard into Shuichi's chest. "I haven't even shown you pain yet," he growled, before attacking Shuichi's lips with bruising force.

Shuichi never knew he could be afraid of a kiss, but he was scared shitless. Yuki bit his lower lip so hard that it bled, and Shuichi whimpered when he felt the other's tongue lapping at the mix of blood and tears running freely down his face.

"I knew you liked it rough," Yuki whispered, turning his attention to Shuichi's neck, biting down until he heard the smaller man yelp. He was hard as a rock. He had Shuichi completely under his control. He could break him, and break him he did.

His hands were brutal and were everywhere until Shuichi began hitting his fists against Yuki's chest, sobbing, begging for him to stop, and that he loved him. At that point, three things happened. Yuki paused, and clasped both of Shuichi's wrists in one of his hands, jerked the pink haired boy's pants and boxers down in one swift motion, and he sneered.

"Yeah kid, I love you too," as Yuki thrust into Shuichi without warning or any lubrication. He hissed a sharp reprimand when Shuichi screamed, and promptly clamped his free hand over his younger lover's mouth. "The only thing I want to hear from you, is what I tell you to say, got it punk?"

Shuichi could only nod his head meekly; unable to comprehend that this was happening to him, again, let alone by the man who had comforted him before. Was that it then? Did Yuki really only see him as a possession, his own personal whore? Because that was the conclusion Shuichi was rapidly approaching as the world he had known crashed down around him, split asunder like his heart, and his ass.

Oh god. But he wouldn't let himself think right now. If he was going to survive this, he had to keep his mind empty. A sharp sting across his other cheek got his attention and he gasped in pain again. He could taste fresh blood welling up in his mouth, and vaguely wondered if Yuki had knocked any of his teeth loose. Shuichi turned blank lavender eyes to regard Yuki, forcing himself not to cry.

"Answer me when I'm talking to you moron!" Yuki shouted, his exclamation punctuated by a particularly rough thrust into the agonized body beneath him.

"Gomen nasai," Shuichi replied, lower lip trembling.

Smack. "Gomen nasai Yuki-sama," he tried again.

The smile that turned up the corners of Yuki's lips made Shuichi's skin crawl. "Better," he said, dropping Shuichi's aching wrists. He knew that Shuichi wouldn't fight anymore. One vise-like hand cupped the base of the pink-haired head, giving Shuichi no alternative but to obey, and look his currently deranged boyfriend in his hard, golden eyes. The other slid down his heaving sides to his hips, pulling him closer, before locking in place, giving Yuki more leverage to further abuse his screaming body.

"Say it," Yuki whispered harshly.

"I love you," Shuichi said emotionlessly, and received a quick tug on his hair.

"Make me believe you."

"I love you Yuki," Shuichi cried, wishing he might have blacked out before any of this began.

"Good. Whom do you belong to?" Yuki rasped above him.

"I belong to you. I'm yours Yuki-sama."

"Damn right you do you little slut. Now move that pretty ass of yours like a good boy," the blonde ordered, on the edge now it seemed by the frenzied motion of his wild hips.

Choking back a sob, and the bile that came with it, Shuichi did as he was told, shifting his hips the way that Yuki always liked. He stared at the ceiling in detached repulsion as Yuki came violently into him before collapsing on top of his battered form. Directly after slipping out, Yuki fell unconscious.

The only good thing that Shuichi could think of, was that now that Yuki had passed out, he wouldn't wake up no matter what Shuichi himself might do. Carefully, he disengaged himself from the tangle of arms and legs that was Yuki Eiri, and gingerly pulled his underwear and pants on before frantically trying to find his jacket, cell phone, wallet, and keys. Yuki hadn't bothered to remove his shirt during the violation of Shuichi's person and mind. He had a grim feeling that a trip to the hospital would be in order.

Shuichi struggled to get outside, wondering why he locked the door behind him. He didn't even put his shoes on inside the apartment; he simply carried them as he walked in a daze. He bumped into something, no, someone, and when he tried to apologize, he slipped on some slick surface, and tumbled down the first flight of stairs. Before his head could smack against the tile, however, a pair of arms caught him, and his head landed in the stranger's lap instead. Horrified blue eyes skimmed his face, and a voice called out to him, a voice he knew.

"Hospital, onegai," Shuichi pleaded, grasping at the white shirt beneath the brown leather jacket of the man above him, some of the pain lessening as everything but that face and those eyes went out of focus, and faded to a world of black and gray.

Holy crap, well that marks the end of the first chapter of my first ever Gravitation fanfiction; I should get a cookie for that. Please bare that fact in mind as we continue through this story, okay? And as a side note, I do like Yuki, really I do, but for this I just need him to be dark, and crazy, and abusive. Now, who could the mysterious stranger be? . I guess we'll see next chapter, ne?


	2. A Call From the Darkness

Pocky and Promises

Chapter 2: A Call From the Darkness

Disclaimer: Must I include one of these every chapter? Mou. You know what, I'm going to borrow someone to give it for me, okay? Tohma-kun and Eiri-kun are going to do a little skit for your entertainment because they have to do what I tell them throughout the duration of this fanfiction. –Maniacal laughter ensues-

Eiri steps out, wearing a gray long sleeved shirt with a triangle cut out of the middle and a large red G on it, with matching gray skirt, and black boots: "To denounce the evils of straight anime,"

Tohma appears wearing a very similar outfit, only with spiky hair and pants instead of the skirt: "To extend a hand to lesbians and gays,"

Eiri, strikes a bishie pose: "Eiri!'

Tohma, also, strikes a bishie pose: "Tohma!"

Eiri: "Team Gravi blast off at the speed of yaoi fan-girl anticipation,"

Tohma: "No, Aqua-san does not own Gravitation."

In unison: "Thank God!"

Well, now that that annoying bit of business has been taken care of, in a moderately creative manner, let's get back to the story, shall we?

_**First person perspective, Sakuma Ryuichi**_

I worried Shu-chan's hair between my fingers, completely out of my element. I was the "go-to" guy for cheering up, or advice on music, but this was out of my league entirely. I did, however, know who to relinquish the reins to. Steadying the sleeping mass of pink in my lap, I carefully withdrew my cell phone from my pocket, and dialed a familiar set of numbers.

The ungodly hour does not seem to affect the placid voice that answers my call.

"Moshi moshi?"

Completely disregarding my usual hyperactive spiel, I cut directly to my point. "Tohma-kun, I need an ambulance sent to Uesugi Eiri-san's apartment complex, and I need the press to stay out of this, completely," my tone left no room for discussion. I didn't give the blonde president a chance to finish his sentence broken by staccato syllables, and hung up. When I get serious, Tohma knew to listen, and, when three minutes later the flashing lights of an emergency vehicle came into my peripheral vision, I knew I had made the right decision. He had even persuaded them to avoid the sirens, drawing less attention. Oh did Tohma-kun have influences, I reiterated in quiet reflection.

Grimly, I caught Shuichi under the knees, and laid his head against my shoulder, and attempted to stand. I held him gently, carrying him like a child or a bride, and waited for the paramedics to reach us, a very slightly frazzled Tohma in their wake; for he was surely above such trivial matters as confidentiality and routine hospital protocol. Clearly, he feared some incident involving Uesugi Eiri, and was beside himself with scarcely masked apprehension. His expression became quizzical when he saw me with Shindou Shuichi in my arms, and his lips pressed into a thin line at the sight. Contrary to widespread beliefs, Tohma did concern himself with the lead singer of one of his most profitable investments.

Wroth to hand my precious Shu-chan over to strangers, I finally gritted my teeth and let them wrap Shuichi in layers of blankets and he was buried beneath a maze of intravenous lines and wires. Like Tohma, being Sakuma Ryuichi held considerable clout, and I was able to remain in the ambulance despite policy, unwilling to leave my friend's side for any length of time. I shot the paramedics a glare worthy of Tohma himself, and they warily let me hold Shuichi's limp hand, setting my sculpted jaw in determination. I can't let that sparkle die out, that shine is made to burn right along side of mine, and I'll do _anything_ to protect it.

(end of Ryuichi's point of view)

From a dimension of darkness, Shuichi opened scratchy violet eyes to stark white surroundings. Somewhere in that dismal void of nothing, he had heard something calling him back to the light. He briefly wondered if he were dead, but then he felt something soft tucked into the crook of his left arm, brushing against the underside of his chin, and began to second guess that supposition. Searching for something, anything really, his gaze came to rest on a familiar visage, his lifelong idol and friend valued second only to Hiro, Sakuma Ryuichi, singing softly under his breath in the stiff-backed chair beside his sterile bed. Shuichi wrinkled his petite nose; this likely meant that he was in the hospital. He attempted to shift his position, but this movement, minute though it was, brought about unspeakable pain, ricocheting throughout every viable inch of his 5' 4" frame. Well maybe that wasn't the best of ideas. Shuichi bit back a whimper, and settled himself back into the overly crisp, starchy sheets and peered docilely around the room.

It seemed that Ryuichi heard his shuffling, for Shuichi found fathomless blue eyes flickering in his direction, and widening in surprise and delight upon finding his younger companion awake. Shuichi braced himself for the customary bone-breaking hug that the other vocalist was known for, but instead, he felt a gentle pressure on the hand not currently adulterated with an I.V. catheter tube.

"Shu-chan, you've had everybody so worried. I've missed talking to you. I'm so glad you're awake now," Ryuichi said, still in serious mode for the time being, a soft smile on his lips.

But something seemed very wrong to the pink haired singer. Why did he have this ominous feeling? His voice was hoarse with lack of use, and shaking slightly, but he squeezed the consoling hand atop of his own, and attempted to smile reassuringly.

"Mateku, Sakuma-san, why are you so serious? Who died?" Shuichi asked teasingly, tilting his head to the side in cute confusion, then thought better of it when the room began to spin.

Ryuichi's expression grew solemn, "We thought you had," he replied quietly, the strain on his face and in his voice speaking with great intensity that the volume itself was missing.

Shuichi was politely stunned. Ryuichi hadn't even chastised him for not calling him Ryu-chan, and being identified as Ryu-chan, was the basis of Ryuichi's definition of his self-concept. The younger man could only recall ever seeing such an expression at the time that he had asked Ryuichi if Nittle Grasper was still Nittle Grasper without Seguchi-san or Noriko-san. Oh yes, something was definitely wrong.

Ryuichi leaned forward and pressed an affectionate kiss to Shuichi's forehead before rising to attract the attention of a nurse, and to notify a doctor immediately that Shuichi was awake. He uttered soft words of support, that he'd be right back, but in the meantime, left Shuichi to his reeling thoughts.

He didn't have long to ponder things, or try and figure out why he was in the hospital of all places because Ryuichi soon returned with a doctor in tow. They took places near him, Ryuichi sitting in the chair next to his bed again, and the doctor at his other side, a clipboard open and rifling through the pages.

"Shindou-san," he began, "we were really afraid that you were gone for good. You've been in a coma for almost a month."

Shuichi's lovely eyes widened in surprise, "A-a month?" He had no time to process the information because the doctor opened his mouth once more.

"We've taken care of your injuries as best as we've been able, but you were on the verge of slipping away forever. I'll be honest, I wasn't sure if you were going to pull through or not. As a general rule, if a patient doesn't come out of his or her coma within a few weeks, the prospect of recovery is very slim. But," here the doctor, identified by the name tag as Wakaba-sensei, paused and smiled at him a little," it seems that we underestimated you. I think that with time, you'll make a full recovery. You will have to remain here for observation and intravenous treatment with antibiotics and pain medication for approximately another ten to fourteen days."

Shuichi groaned at the news, and covered his feminine face with a slender arm. "Mou, must I really?" he muttered, his voice barely discernible beneath the obstruction.

"Hai hai, Shu-chan must get better so he can be shiny and sparkle with Ryu-chan again na do na," Ryuichi answered, twisting his neck to peek at his friend hiding underneath the arm.

There is no arguing with Ryuichi logic, so Shuichi resigned himself to a longer stay in the hospital. With a sigh, he let his arm fall back beside him to smile at the god incarnate he was lucky enough to call a rival and friend.

"Whatever you say Sakuma-san," he said, waiting for the proper response.

Ryuichi huffed indignantly. "When will Shu-chan learn to call Ryu-chan Ryuichi or Ryu-chan? Aren't we friends?" the older man asked.

A light blush crept across Shuichi's kawaii face as he nodded his assertion. "Alright, Ryu-chan it is, since you seem hell bent on calling me Shu-chan."

"Much better," Ryuichi agreed, reaching across to nod Kumagoro 's head in his second of the motion.

Wakaba-sensei interrupted the two at this point. "However, there still remains the matter of how you were so badly injured in the first place. What happened Shindou-san? Did an overzealous fan accost you? Were you attacked by a stranger? We need to know what went on."

Shuichi's bright eyes clouded over at the inquisition. "I don't know," he muttered softly. "I can't remember at all."

Wakaba-sensei tapped his chin, frowning. "This is important Shindou-san, we need to know so that we can better help you, and so that the police can arrest the party guilty of hurting you so viciously."

"I really don't remember," was the subdued reply, Shuichi now twisting the sheet he lay on in his delicate hands.

"Well until you do, I guess it can't be helped," the doctor acquiesced to defeat for the moment. "And the sooner the better," he finished, and proceeded to examine Shuichi for any neurological distress. Upon pronouncing him stable, the doctor excused himself to attend to his other patients, leaving Shuichi in the care of Ryuichi for now.

"Do you need anything Shu-chan?" Ryuichi asked, stroking the younger man's mussed hair gently.

Exasperated with the course of the day, Shuichi could barely even enjoy the attention from his idol, but did manage to rub his head against the hand much like a kitten might. "I'd like to see Yuki," he replied, then was overcome with a piercing pain that emanated from his chest. He sat up too quickly, and gasped aloud, panting from the exertion, and found himself being drawn into arms that were warm but cautious of his prevalent injuries.

"Uesugi-san is in Kyoto, with his family," Ryuichi explained against the top of Shuichi's head, leaving the other man slack-jawed in wonder.

"Hountou ni?" he asked, incredulous. Yuki always made it a point to avoid his family like the plague. "What prompted that?"

Ryuichi exhaled deeply. "His father passed away the night that I found you, and once he knew that you were alive, comatose but alive, he took off for Kyoto, presumably to keep his brother company. Tatsuha-kun doesn't do well with being alone you know."

Shuichi was taken aback. So Yuki did have some compassion for his family after all. "Can I call him?" he asked, highly concerned for his lover's wellbeing.

The older man groaned but had expected such a request. "Once you're well, of course you can. Tohma-kun wouldn't want you to tax yourself so soon after such a close, close call, and I must say that I agree."

Shuichi hated reason, especially when he knew it to be right. "Fine, fine, you win, but only until I'm out of this damn hospital, understand?" he threatened, looking positively adorable in his effort to be intimidating.

"Hai hai Shu-chan," Ryuichi grudgingly agreed, though he had a terrible sense of foreboding that this was not at all a good idea. "Why don't you get some sleep, ne? I'm sure your body is just about out of-," he halted, and a smile danced across the lips that nearly all of Japan and likely half of America as well as Europe fantasized about. Shuichi had already fallen asleep. Poor kid.

With a tenderness he'd never really explored before, Ryuichi situated Shuichi in the bed into what he hoped was a comfortable manner, tucking the sheet and blankets around him before kissing his soft cheek. 'What the hell is going on with me?' he asked, as even to his own mind, he was being unusually affectionate with the other singer. 'You'd think I had a crush on him or something,' he half-laughed, then blinked rapidly when he realized that it was true, he did have feelings for Shuichi of the romantic persuasion. 'Oh shit,' he mumbled, partially to himself and partially out loud, running a smooth hand down his face that clearly registered shock.

Ryuichi was saved from further introspection when the door creaked open ever so slightly, and Seguchi Tohma entered, looking for his standards, like he had been in a train wreck. His hair was not meticulously in place, and there were two, TWO wrinkles in his white dress shirt.

Bursting from his somewhat uncomfortable thoughts, Ryuichi got a quiet running start (how that is possible, not even the author knows, but it's Ryuichi, reality seems to bend for him a little) and pounced on Tohma who staggered under the extra weight.

"Tohma-kun!" Ryuichi whispered loudly so as not to wake Shuichi.

A rush of air the only sign of the strain of impact, Tohma smiled, patting his unpredictable singer on the head and let him down, turning to face the sleeping form.

"How is he?" the president of N-G asked, worry lacing his voice despite himself, then raced his sharp emerald eyes over Ryuichi's face. "Or maybe I should ask, how are you?"

Ryuichi smiled genially. "The doctor said he should recover completely, but he can't remember what happened the night I, literally, caught him."

"And you?" Tohma tried again, resting a gloved hand on Ryuichi. "I don't know when I've ever seen you so responsible, and I thought I knew next to everything about you. You even lent him Kumagoro," he noted softly, the peek of pink a shade or two lighter than Shuichi's hair visible against the contrast of hospital white.

The leather-clad shoulders shrugged, "I kind of had to. He needed someone, and I was there, still am actually. He's my friend and Uesugi-san has other problems, and Nakano-san has other obligations too. So I'll wear the grown-up pants a little longer for my Shu-chan," he finished, making brief eye contact with the main keyboardist of Nittle Grasper.

"Yours?" Tohma asked, whether his tone was accusatory or questioning was up for debate, but nonetheless Ryuichi grinned sheepishly.

"Well you know what I mean. He's my friend, and I'm kind of in charge of him for now," he said, resuming his seat by Shuichi, idly toying with the end of a pink section of hair that smelled of strawberry. Ryuichi would know, he'd taken great pains to make sure that Shuichi was well taken care of, giving him a bath every day, and washing his hair with Ryuichi's own shampoo. It was something he had taken upon himself, as a way to perhaps reach out to the unconscious boy who had sparked the legend to sing again in Japan.

Tohma was silently observant and, surprising even himself, inclined his regal frame to lightly kiss Shuichi's rose-soft cheek. Somehow along the way, the hindrance had become important to him too. Without another word, one of the most powerful men in Tokyo left the way he had come, closing the door behind him.

Ryuichi muttered under his breath to no one in particular, "I'd do that for you, Shu-chan," and he rested his forehead against Shuichi's before letting himself glean the first peaceful rest he'd had in almost a month.

Well there you have chapter 2. Are you proud of me? I know I am. By the way, hountou ni translates to "truly,' or "really," both as a question, and mateku, means "good God" roughly, though I'm not sure I spelled that correctly. So, what do you think of the nurturing side of Ryuichi? I think it's possible, and very cute. I'm trying not to make him too out of character, but he does act serious when it's necessary, so yeah. And I don't like the idea of Tohma hating Shuichi, so in my story, while jealous, he doesn't hate him. I hope you enjoyed, and I'll see you next chapter! –The Aqua Mirror?

Reader Responses:

Serenity Usagi Tenou: Yeah, I like the Yuki x Shuichi pairing as well as Shuichi x Ryuichi. I'm not sure which I like better some days, but for this story, it's Shu x Ryu. I hope I didn't leave you hanging too long, please enjoy the chapter.

KareNeko: I'm very glad that I got your attention. I sometimes think that the first chapter of a new story can be the most difficult to write, ne? I hope you like the hint of fluff this chapter, and that it is also well written in your opinion. Enjoy!

Sa-Chan: I did indeed update, and don't worry, Shu-chan won't be hurt like that in my story again

hunted-snark: Nope, this chapter is much lighter, and no bad memories, for now. Of course, he will have to deal with them later, but for now he gets to bask in the fanboy glow of his idol's care. Enjoy!

Veronika: I did, I did update! I hope you enjoy!

DarakuTenshi101: Thank you for your comments, and I hope you like this chapter as well. I did my best to put good effort into this as well, and I hope you like this one too!

RainaSukiMiyuki: Well, this is just my first Gravitation fanfiction. I have another account on here, as well as other stories on this account, so I've had some practice, just never have I ventured into the world of yaoi. I hope you like this story and this chapter.


	3. Going Under and Coming Undone

Pocky and Promises

Chapter 3: Going Under and Coming Undone

Disclaimer: I don't think I can really top my statement from the last chapter, so it's enough to know that I do not own Gravitation.

"Don't make me use force, Shuichi," Ryuichi husked, his breath tickling the curve of Shuichi's ear.

Shuichi shivered, but masked his reaction with a well-placed pout, his eyes meeting those of his idol. "Mou, Ryu-chan, I just want to look out the window. Onegai Ryu-chan?" he beseeched, lower lip trembling.

Resisting the urge to bite that lip, Ryuichi moved out of the zone of temptation and wagged a finger playfully in the other's face, and about moaned aloud when he felt Shuichi's mouth close around the digit. The sum of his world was reduced to the sensation of Shuichi's teeth scraping across his fingertip before biting down with the barest hint of pressure. He struggled to repress the strangled sounds itching to escape his straining throat, and whined inaudibly when Shuichi flicked his tongue against the tip as he withdrew from torturing Ryuichi. Mistaking the expression on Ryuichi's face, Shuichi hurriedly asked,

"Did I hurt you Ryu-chan?"

Ryuichi's voice sounded unnaturally high-pitched as he tried to reassure his friend, and to ignore the pounding of his blood through veins that felt too small, and to mentally escape the room that had become far too warm.

With a real laugh, Shuichi spoke again," Never put something in my face like that. I bite," the younger singer sang out, his teeth reaching over to grasp the sleeve of Ryuichi's yellow shirt, shaking his head and growling as best he could.

"I-I'll remember that Shu-chan," Ryuichi replied, smiling weakly as he worked to drag his thoughts away from the other's innocent actions that had such an effect on his feverish mind. He would never let _anything _near Shuichi's mouth again unless he really wanted to tease himself into oblivion. He groaned. 'These aren't things you need to be hearing Kuma-chan,' he thought, and carefully pushed Shuichi back into his bed. "The doctor said no, Shu-chan," he stated as firmly as he was able.

Shuichi sighed in defeat," All right, all right. Will you at least ask a nurse to move my bed then?" he asked hopefully.

Calming down, and settling back into their routine of sorts, Ryuichi grinned," I'll just press the call button. I don't trust you alone Shu-chan, you're sneaky."

His response was a roll of the eyes, and a dramatic sigh as Shuichi fell back against the pillows, followed by a wince. The medication helped greatly, and Shuichi thanked the gods for morphine, even if it did make the soles of his feet itch. When he overdid it though, his convalescing injuries made their protests known in the form of pain that seared his nerves. He was always quiet when that happened, not wanting pity for his condition, though the spike in his blood pressure always betrayed him. He felt a gentle hand run through his fluorescent locks, and turned to face kind royal blue eyes.

"You shouldn't push yourself so soon," Ryuichi chided, his voice as gentle as his touch. He hated seeing his koohai hurting; it made him feel helpless.

"Daijoubu. You worry too much Ryu-chan," Shuichi joked, leaning into Ryuichi's touch subconsciously.

"Well I can't let my rival drop out of the business. There is no competition without you," Ryuichi said, chuckling at the resulting blush. "You're so kawaii," he added, almost as an afterthought.

Shuichi was saved from a reply by the arrival of the nurse. Hitomi-chan was so nice, he really liked her, and with the help of Ryuichi, the stiff bed was relocated, now parallel to the window. With a personality like Shuichi's, it was easy to understand his restlessness. Hitomi wedged a pillow behind his back under the guise of his comfort, but it was really to provide him with some much needed spine support to allow him to rest in such a position. Despite his pretenses, he was still weak, and rather than damage his pride, she simply provided for his needs without being asked. A beep at her hip indicated that another patient required her attention, so Hitomi exited Shuichi's room with a smile and a reminder to page her should he need her.

Vibrant greens of dappled trees and the subtle pink of sakura blossoms greeted Shuichi upon surveying the scenery. The beauty of it all was a sensory overload after being confined to such bland, muted surroundings for almost five days now. It was like seeing it all for the first time. The touch of the sun felt good, and warmed his chilled skin. Somehow the sun reminded him of Ryuichi, or perhaps it was Ryuichi who reminded him of the sun. His train of thought made him feel a little guilty, but he shook his head. Ryuichi was his friend, and he was extremely grateful for all that he had done. It wasn't like he was thinking about kissing the older singer, he reasoned. But then he found Ryuichi's face next to his, and the violet gaze locked onto the lips moving soundlessly. His breath hitched, okay, now he was. Shuichi's face flushed, and he attempted to focus on what his friend was saying, rather than the sinuous motions that those lips were making.

"Gomen Ryu-chan," Shuichi apologized, averting his line of sight from the mouth before him.

"Ara?" Ryuichi blinked in confusion, waving Kumagoro's arms, speaking through the security of his long-time companion. "Shu-chan sure is sorry a lot na do na. Did Ryu-chan make him feel bad? Ryu-chan didn't mean to," wailed Shuichi's idol, eyes getting larger, and Kumagoro's ear currently in his mouth.

"Iie, iie! Ryu-chan didn't do anything wrong! I was spacing out and I didn't hear what you had said," Shuichi explained quickly, relieved to see the childish side of the other singer. Lately, it had been hidden beneath Ryuichi's need to take care of him.

The change in the handsome features was drastic and immediate, much like Shuichi's own mood swings, and the rising star felt himself wrapped in a warm hug. Embarrassed, but touched, Shuichi rubbed his cheek against Ryuichi's, surprising the elder man.

"Arigatou Ryu-chan," Shuichi murmured quietly, deftly angling his upper body to return the hug, and was met with a politely baffled expression.

"For what Shu-chan?" Ryuichi asked, trying to think of what Shuichi would be thanking him for.

"For finding me, for saving me, for everything. I wish Yuki would have done anything like you have, just once," Shuichi whispered, tightening his embrace, and an errant tear skated down the porcelain face, dampening Ryuichi's shoulder.

Alarmed, Ryuichi went to dry Shuichi's tears and comfort him, but Shuichi merely whimpered, and pulled Ryuichi closer, hating the weakness in his voice as he asked,

"I know I'm crying, you know I'm crying, so could you please just hold me a little longer?"

Shuichi's plea nicked at a corner of Ryuichi's heart, and he felt it bleed a little for the palpably raw anguish radiating from the smaller frame.

"I'll hold you as long as you want me to," Ryuichi promised softly, pressing a kiss to Shuichi's temple. 'And maybe I'll be able to let you go.'

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Aww. Ryu and Shu cuteness, so now it's on to the Uesugi brothers to check on them.

West of Tokyo, Tatsuha was having the exact opposite problem. His brother Eiri had barely left his bed since he had arrived nearly four weeks ago. The fact that Eiri hadn't even spared the energy for snide insults, had Tatsuha extremely worried. He took a seat next to the prone form of Eiri, and got hold of the pack of cigarettes within easy reach for the writer. When Eiri didn't respond, Tatsuha frowned. What the hell was going on? He was done walking on eggshells around his elder sibling, and as he lit the cigarette, spoke, irritation evident in his voice.

"Alright aniki, what is going on? Even you never sleep this much, and I know that the old man's death hasn't affected you this badly. Did Shuichi dump your sorry ass? Is he single now?" the man with raven hair asked thoughtfully, he may not be able to have his true love, but his brother's boyfriend was good enough.

Tatsuha's laughing face was met with an icy glare, his brother now sitting up fully, piercing him with hard eyes. Well, it seemed that he got a reaction out of him at last. "Don't talk about Shuichi," was the curt reply before Eiri clutched his head in his hands. Tatsuha could only see the shaking because he was so close.

"Aniki?" he questioned, warily drawing closer to his unpredictable brother.

"Leave me alone," Eiri snapped, 'damn it all.'

"I don't think I've seen you this shaken up since," here Tatsuha paused, "ah hell. Don't tell me something happened again."

Eiri's grip was around his brother's throat before the other could so much as bat an eye. "It was almost a perfect reenactment of, that time, except that, then, I was a victim, and now, now I'm exactly like Kitazawa," Eiri finished in horror, abruptly letting go of Tatsuha's throat.

Dark brown eyes went wide in shock. "N-nani?" he questioned in utter disbelief. His brother might be a heartless bastard, but Tatsuha knew for a fact that the novelist did indeed love the pink haired mass of perpetual sugar high known as Shuichi. "This is some kind of sick joke, right?" he asked, mortified for his flesh and blood.

"I hurt him," Eiri replied, tapping a cigarette out of the pack as well, breathing in the nicotine like a man suffocating, the shaking in his hands more pronounced than ever.

"What do you mean, Eiri?" Tatsuha asked, unsure as to whether he really wanted the answer.

Eiri's golden eyes penetrated deeply into those of his brother. "I hurt him, just like I was then. He'll never forgive me, and I'll never forgive myself either," he finished, pissed that cigarettes took so little time to smoke.

Tatusha's face went white as a sheet. "You mean to say that," and found that he couldn't get the words out without choking on them.

Eiri all but growled in response. "Don't make me repeat myself. I still can't believe that I did that to him. He's never done anything but try to love me, and annoy me sixteen hours a day."

Tatsuha tapped his chin thoughtfully. "What is he doing the other eight hours of the day?" he asked innocently.

Eiri smirked. "Well, he's either sleeping, or being fucked into the mattress," he explained casually.

Tatsuha grimaced. "Okay, wow, I didn't need to know that."

"Then why did you ask baka?"

Changing the subject, Tatsuha spoke again," Well, the good thing about Shuichi is that he tends to bounce back from crap that's thrown his way. He's hopelessly in love with you aniki; I'm sure that if you try to explain what happened that he'll forgive you. Speaking of which, how did this happen anyway?"

Eiri raised a golden eyebrow. "You want me to tell you how I raped him? How I destroyed him? You are one sick bastard Tatsuha."

Rapidly shaking his head, Tatsuha rushed to clear up _that _misunderstanding. "No you moron, I mean how on earth did this come about? I know he gets on your nerves, but you've never done anything like this before. What caused you to, lose control like that? He's done wonders for your anger issues. It's not like you to regress so profusely."

Eiri flicked the end of his cigarette to rid it of the ash accumulating on the cherry, and answered so softly that Tatsuha had to work to hear him. 

"It was the night that dad died. I'd been drinking. It's just what I do when I'm upset, you know, and the kid didn't get home until four in the fucking morning. He never called me, and Seguchi had no idea why he'd still be at the studio at that hour," here he paused to take another drag of the waning cigarette," and when he did get back, he smelled like another man's cologne. My mind went haywire, and I accused him of cheating on me. He cried, and denied it of course, and tried to tell me that he loved me. I wouldn't listen, and, I made him suffer for something that he hadn't done. But, even if he had, it still wouldn't excuse my actions. I'm a monster, and I've made him just like me," Eiri concluded, staring at the cigarette in his grasp, willing it to do something.

Tatsuha was speechless, but moved to place a hand on his brother's shoulder regardless of the consequences, only to find it quivering. He silently pulled his brother into a hug, and was shocked to feel tears splashing onto his back.

"How can I ever look at him again? How can he ever look at me the same Tatsuha? How will he ever forgive me? Will he ever forgive me? He has no reason to, whatsoever, but I don't want to let him go," the elder brother muttered, his voice thickened by his tears. He hated crying, it made him feel like shit, but it was trivial to how Shuichi must feel right now, if he was even conscious. "I can't believe myself. Maybe I really don't deserve him," he said quietly, voicing his currently greatest fear to one of the four people who he trusted.

"'I'm sorry,' might be a good place to start," Tatsuha offered, wrapping the blankets a little closer around his brother's shaking form.

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Japanese this chapter:

Daijoubu: in this instance, it means I'm okay, or I'm alright. Followed by a -ka, it makes it a question.

Koohai: from the anime, how Ryuichi first refers to Shuichi. It means junior, as opposed to sempai, which means senior.

Aniki: brother, much like onii-chan or onii-san.

Ara: used as a question, like, huh?

Nani: if you don't know what nani means, you have not watched enough anime as It means what.

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Whew, and there's the end of Chapter 3. Angst, angst everywhere, and there's likely more to come. I hope it made sense, and that it was long enough and all that jazz. I'll be working on Chapter 4, even though I only got 5 reviews for Chapter 2. Are my skills declining or something? Le sigh. Oh well, so long as I've got a few people whom like this story, I'll keep at it. See ya! –The Aqua Mirror?

Reader Responses:

DarakuTenshi101: Yeah, Shu got hurt pretty badly. He'll get his memories back soon enough though, and it'll be interesting when he does. Yeah, Yuki is something else, but how could he be anything but messed up with all that's happened to him? In other stories, he won't be like this, but for this one, I just want a Shu x Ryu pairing, lol, so Yuki gets to be the bad guy. Thank you for the encouragement, and I think that Ryuichi's serious side is sexy too. He'll be a mix of both in this. Thank you for reading and reviewing, and I hope you like this chapter too.

Veronika: I'm glad you liked the chapter, I hope you like this one as well. I'm having fun writing this story. 

Serenity Usagi Tenou: Yeah, I like the Eiri x Shuichi pairings, but I just had to write a Shu x Ryu this time. Thank you for the encouragement, and I like it when Tohma isn't a total ass too. Thank you for the compliment on characterization. The bishonen boys of Gravitation are hard as hell to write about, let alone write about them properly. . I hope you like the chapter!

Sa-chan: I'm sorry you think that you flunked a test. That sucks. But hopefully another update will make you feel better na do na? I think that Ryu and Shu make a freaking adorable couple, so I had to give into the demands of my fangirl self, and do it. Thank you for the compliment on writing Ryu's character. It's hard to know when to make him serious, and when to make him act five, heh. I hope you enjoy the chapter.

RainaSukiMiyuki: You have a long username to type, did you know that? But you're a consistent reviewer, so I love you for that. I'm glad you liked the previous chapter, positive input gives me writing warm fuzzies. Yep, Shuichi loses his memory of what happened, but he'll get it back, and when he does, ah man, all hell is going to break loose, lol. Ah twists, I am fond of them. But don't worry, it'll all be worth it in the end na do na. I hope you enjoy this chapter too. 


	4. Ice Cream and Bad Dreams, Oh My!

Pocky and Promises

Chapter 4: Ice Cream and Bad Dreams, Oh My!

Disclaimer: Would you like a replay of chapter 2's disclaimer? Basically Eiri and Tohma did a little Pokémon skit, taking the places of Jesse and James from Team Rocket, only they're Team Gravi. And it's still true, I don't own Gravitation, and that's a promise.

Dedication: To my reviewers who have been reviewing faithfully each chapter. I'm amazed at my own speed in updating, normally I'm notorious for being a little on the slow side, but I guess I'm just inspired? Thank you guys! #squishes you all in a group glomp# And I can do that because in the world of anime, it's perfectly acceptable to hug strangers na do na! 

"Hiro!" Shuichi shouted, sitting up abruptly in his bed, smiling widely as the familiar red head entered his hospital room, and promptly squealed with joy at the cuddly Kumagoro clone that was pressed into his slender hands. "I didn't think you were going to be back from that family thing for another three days!"

His best friend smiled at him affectionately and ruffled his unruly pink hair. "Well, as it was an emergency, I made them understand. When I heard that you had woken up at last, I tried to come back as soon as possible."

Overcome with a rush of gratitude to the generally so reserved, if not outright reclusive genius guitarist he was lucky enough to have the acquaintance of for so many years, Shuichi burst into tears. "But you were on vacation with your family, the one time a year that you guys actually get along, and you were in America of all places! It must have cost a fortune to get back ahead of schedule! I'm so sorry Hiro!" he wailed into the other's shirt. "You smell good," he sniffled.

Hiro's expression was a cross between irritation, and relief. "Well, Shuichi, you're my best friend. And if you're so worried about the expense, how about you treat me for a change when we go out a time or two? I think that'll about make up for it. Oh, and maybe a little more effort to be on time to the studio once in a while, ne?" he responded, quirking an eyebrow at his irrational, but irresistible friend.

Shuichi nodded in affirmation, burying his face into Hiro's shoulder before looking up to regard him. "Ne, Hiro?"

"Hai, Shuichi?"

"Not that I'm complaining, because you know how much I love stuffed animals, but is there any reason why you brought me a Kumagoro plushy instead of what you normally bring me when I'm sick or upset?" his black lashes aflutter in adorable contemplation.

Hiro scratched his chin a moment, "Well, it was actually at Sakuma-san's suggestion," he paused to take in Shuichi's face, "It's like crack to you isn't it?"

Shuichi smiled brightly against the fabric of Hiro's shirt. "I guess, but what's crack anyway?" he asked curiously.

Hiro's eyebrow twitched slightly and he sighed. "Nevermind. I brought you some anyway, but you can't have it yet, understood?" he said, fixing Shuichi with a stern glare, and setting the box of strawberry pocky on the nightstand beside the bed.

"Hiro!" Shuichi practically howled with delight, wrapping his arms tighter around his friend's waist like a boa constrictor might.

"Shuichi, I, can't, breathe," he wheezed.

"Oops, gomen gomen," Shuichi apologized, relaxing his hold on the other, and laughing sheepishly.

Ryuichi chose that time to return, and his darkened heart as of late, lightened a little at hearing Shuichi's laughter. It was one of his favorite sounds, and Shuichi wasn't laughing enough today, not since he'd tried to call his Yuki. Ryuichi had relented and let the younger singer make the phone call. Tatsuha had picked up, and upon learning the identity of the caller, had succinctly answered in a cool voice that Eiri would be up to see him within the week, to get some rest, and to give Sakuma-san a hug or kiss for him, or a grope if he were able.

Shuichi had stared in shock at the device before shrieking at decibel levels high enough for the canines of Tokyo to wince at, "There's no way in hell that I'm going to grope Ryu-chan!" before hanging up, vastly disturbed.

"Ara?" Ryuichi had blinked in surprise, tilting his head to the side like a confused puppy.

Although ecstatic at the thought of Yuki coming to visit him, Shuichi hadn't exactly been thrilled with the reception of Yuki's primarily friendly, sometimes overly friendly younger brother, and no contact with the novelist himself. It worried him for some reason, and it bothered him to no end that he couldn't figure out why. What had happened the night that his god had become his savior? Every time that he tried to remember, flashes of red and black were his only rewards. Frustrated, he had grown silent and a little sullen, highly un-Shuichi-like, until today when Hiroshi-kun had come.

Eyeing the box of candy on the stand, Ryuichi shook the paw of Kumagoro who he had just scooped up from his sentry position next to Shuichi, on guard in Ryuichi's absence, in Shuichi's general direction. He had most certainly learned his lesson about fingers and Shuichi.

"You know you can't have that yet, right Shu-chan?" Ryuichi asked not unkindly, leaning on the arm of the spare chair in the room.

"Mou Ryu-chan, hai hai," Shuichi groaned, turning to face Hiro for support, and giggled a little when he looked rather confused. "Sakuma-san, prefers to be called Ryuichi or Ryu-chan, and as he's taken such good care of me for so long, how could I do anything else?" he asked sweetly, batting his inky eyelashes for greater effect.

Both of his companions laughed in good humor at his antics. Sometimes Shuichi really was just too damn cute. And the thought quickly sobered them again because it begged the question, who on earth could have hurt him? Why would they want to anyway? A frown crossed their faces, but they hid them beneath smiles for the sake of the fallen angel before them. Each were drawn out of their musings at the sight of Shuichi attempting to reach for the box of crack, er, rather, pocky, on the end table.

Mutual cries rang out, of,

"Shuichi!"

"Shu-chan!"

They were surprised further to see aforementioned man chuckle at their actions.

"Well that sure brought you two out of your thoughts. What had you guys so upset anyway?" he asked, narrowing his eyes in suspicion, and then smiling a little at the panic evident on their faces. "And you'd better tell me the truth, or I'll eat that whole box when you're not looking," he concluded with conviction.

Ryuichi was the first to react. He placed Kumagoro on his head and looked thoughtful. "Well, I don't know about Hiroshi-kun, but as for Kuma-chan and I, we were thinking that it's terrible that the doctors said you could have ice cream now, because surely Shu-chan wants to keep eating rice, and only rice, na do na."

Two stunned faces stared in disbelief at the only man in the room with a stuffed pink bunny on his head. 

"Nani?" they asked in union, blinking rapidly, before laughing at the insanity of the previous statement.

It was Ryuichi's turn to burst into tears. "You guys hate me don't you? Kuma-chan, you're the only one who still loves Ryu-chan," he pouted, tears raining down his face, much to the bafflement of his spectators.

Shuichi leapt to console his idol, and stuttered in his attempt to stop Ryuichi from crying. "Iie, iie! Not at all! We love you too Ryu-chan! We could never hate you! I'm sorry that we laughed at what you said! Right Hiro?" here he looked to his friend for back up, and of course Hiro came through, piping in,

"Of course, Sakuma-san. After all, you are the man who first inspired Shuichi to sing, and from him, I fell in love with the guitar. So please, don't take our outburst to heart," Hiro added, opening the box of pocky and offering a stick to Ryuichi in consolation, mindless of Shuichi's reaction, though at the moment, Shuichi could care less, so long as Ryuichi didn't cry anymore. He was supposed to be the irrational one, dammit.

"Arigatou," Ryuichi huffed indignantly, somewhat appeased by this offering, still clutching Kumagoro closely to his chest, until he was replaced by a Shuichi in his lap, hugging him instead. Blushing like mad, Ryuichi wrapped his arms around Shuichi's back, a touch of nervous laughter escaping his infamous lips.

Shuichi proceeded to giggle. "Ryu-chan, why are you blushing?"

Ryuichi stumbled over his response," I'm not blushing, silly Shu-chan."

Before Shuichi could reply, Hiro interrupted, "I know we're best friends and everything Shuichi, but unless the world is ending and you've decided to leave Yuki-san, I really don't need to see your ass so blatantly on display," he complained, smacking said rear end softly.

With a startled squeak that could rival any mortified teenaged girl, Shuichi retreated hastily back to the relative safety of his bed, sporting cheeks nearly as pink as his hair, muttering something indiscernible under his breath.

"What was that Shuichi?" Hiro teased, reaching forward to flick the end of his friend's nose.

"I said that you could have spared a little pity for your supposedly best friend who's hurt and in the hospital," Shuichi snapped, before sticking his tongue out at Hiro.

"Oh? And who was it that was jumping around not a minute ago? I hate to say it, but I think you're recovering Shuichi. But then again, I think the phone calls from Sakuma-san said that the doctors had determined that the greatest damage had been done to your head. So I guess we shouldn't have been so worried all this time. It's not like you're using your brain cells all that often, ne?" Hiro quipped, a pleased smirk on his face.

"Hiro!" Shuichi pouted, turning his back on the guitarist, cuddling his own Kumagoro, and rubbed his cheek against comforting pink fur. He suddenly understood why Ryuichi kept his with him at all times, except on stage where the bunny was forbidden.

"Oh you know I love you, Shuichi," Hiro sighed, rising to embrace his smaller friend, resting his head on the delicate shoulder.

"I wish Yuki would say that to me, just once," Shuichi said so quietly that had the room been any louder, his two companions would not have heard him. "Even if it was only once, I could deal with that because I'd imprint that memory into my mind forever so that I could take it out and play it again and again any time I wanted to. Is it really so much to ask of him?" Violet orbs glistened with the threat of tears, and his friends shifted uncomfortably. This was an area that they didn't know how to approach for two entirely different reasons. Hiro, because he hated to see his friend in constant turmoil and pain over an arrogant, gorgeous, but cold person who he didn't think even knew the meaning of emotion, although it was supposed to be his field of expertise. And Ryuichi, well, Ryuichi had issues with the idea that his Shu-chan was still with the jerk, with anyone but him.

"Kumagoro and Ryu-chan love Shu-chan too," Ryuichi piped up, nodding the bunny's head in agreement, and felt his tension dissipate a mite when the corners of Shuichi's lips formed a small smile. It wasn't the million watt smile of the stage, but it would do, for now. "Would you like Hiroshi-kun and I to get some ice cream for you Shu-chan?" he asked, and smiled himself at the fervent nod from the object of his attention.

Hiro was already to his feet and headed for the door when Ryuichi bent forward and whispered in Shuichi's ear," Remember Shu-chan, we love you. Pika pika Shuichi na do na!" he added to support his solely friendly-motivated illusion, his grin easy-going and affable.

A quick chuckle was his reward, and Shuichi spoke," Strawberry shortcake if they have it, onegai? With sprinkles, lots of sprinkles!"

Ruffling the similarly strawberry hair before him, Ryuichi assured him that he, Kumagoro, and Hiro would indeed take Shuichi's mission and would be back soon, so to try and not bother Hitomi-chan too much while they were gone.

"Hai hai!" Shuichi called to the retreating back of his recent anchor to reality and kept the smile on his face until he was sure they were gone. He truly didn't want them to worry so much about him, so what if he felt sad about Yuki? He was allowed to be upset sometimes, like when his lover was being neglectful, right? But he wouldn't be able to keep those thoughts at bay for long, nor the recurrent, constant nightmares that only disappeared with the aid of heavy tranquilizers.

Shifting around in the bed that was too small and too hard after becoming accustomed to the bed in Yuki's apartment, or even his lover's couch, he tried to make himself comfortable, and to keep his mind on anything but where it was likely headed. He knew he had failed when hints of crimson and jet began to infiltrate his view of sakura trees and the innocence of newly arrived spring. Whimpering into his pillow and his Kumagoro, Shuichi trembled violently and cried, shaking like someone going through withdrawals, and his nails now bit into his palms in an effort to calm himself. It wasn't working, at all, so he resorted to the only thing that did make him feel better when he walked into a living, waking, personal hell.

The melody of his clear voice rang out against the dark, fighting for him, and he waited like a helpless kitten until the return of his friends would mark the arrival of his deliverance, yet again.

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Ryuichi and Hiro were blissfully unaware of their friend's current turmoil, and were engaging in idle chat as they waited for the ice cream they had promised Shuichi. At length, the bored looking teenager behind the counter handed them the precious treats, and quickly lost her expression upon realizing whom she was serving. Suddenly finding themselves swamped with frenzied fans, they attempted to sign as many autographs as possible while steadily approaching the back exit where a wizened employee waited to let them out, and away from the group of fans that was swiftly gaining a mob mentality, bent on Hiro and Ryuichi.

They darted away through the door, and gripped the ice cream. It was a miracle it hadn't melted just yet, and looked at one another before bursting into a fit of laughter.

"We can't even get ice cream without attracting attention," Hiro shook his head, "But then again, I guess you're more used to it than I am, ne Sakuma-san?"

Ryuichi only smiled," Yes, well, that's neither here nor there. It's good for my ego, although, perhaps we should dye our hair the next time we try to venture out alone? And would you just call me Ryuichi or Ryu-chan already? Your friends do."

"Perhaps, and alright, alright, Ryuichi it is," Hiro agreed, and they quickened their pace en route back to the hospital, back to Shuichi.

Ryuichi intended to reply, but he suddenly got a bad feeling in the pit of his tummy that wouldn't go away, and Kumagoro sensed it too. "I think we need to hurry," he said to Hiro, breaking into a brisk jog.

Unsure of what exactly was going on, Hiro merely shrugged and accelerated to catch up to Ryuichi. They entered the hospital lobby through the automatic doors, and groaned at the size of the line for the elevators.

"I'm going to take the stairs, Hiroshi-kun," Ryuichi said, "you can come with me, or you can wait, it's up to you," he finished, walking with long strides to the stairwell, not even waiting to see whether Hiro followed him or not.

Kumagoro in his pocket, and two ice cream cups in his hands, Ryuichi worked to open the door, but once he did, he went up the stairs two at a time, desperate to calm the racing of his heart, and to quell the feeling that something had happened to Shuichi, again.

Hiro was left in the wake of Ryuichi's hasty departure, and decided that the elevator would do just fine. He had no idea why the neurotic five year old in the body of a grown man would be so freaked out, but with a quick smile and autograph, he was able to get into the next elevator car without further hindrance. Maybe when they got back to Shuichi's room, the older singer would have some answers for his peculiar behavior.

Ryuichi cursed under his breath when he heard frantic singing from the inside of Shuichi's room. What the hell had happened? He stepped inside, quietly closing the door behind him, and set the ice cream down to survey the damage that had taken place in their absence.

"Shu-chan?" he called softly, walking slowly toward the shaking figure hidden beneath the rough blankets of a hospital, fear a viable entity lying ripe upon his tongue. 

In a flurry of movement, Ryuichi found himself with an armful of Shuichi, and was relieved somewhere in the minute part of his brain that wasn't panicking for Shuichi, that he had set the ice cream down before coming to his side.

He pressed his lips to the top of the mussed pink locks, and drew the other close, whispering quietly to him. He was not surprised to feel the warmth of Shuichi's tears upon his chest, and frowned at the palpable terror that radiated from him. Any other day he would have been amused at the fact that his Kumagoro had migrated from his pocket to Shuichi's lap mysteriously, but right now he could care less. 

"Shuichi," he tried again, and tilted the trembling chin up to face him with gentle fingers. "What's wrong?"

Shuichi attempted to respond through his cascade of tears and spoke, his voice quaking as much as his slim frame," The nightmares," was his answer, and his shivering increased two-fold with those words.

"You didn't tell me you were having bad dreams Shuichi," Ryuichi chided tenderly, drawing the smaller man back into the comfort of his arms.

"Or me," Hiro nearly spat, angry that Shuichi hadn't trusted him, let alone the fact that _**he**_ of all people hadn't sensed that something was wrong with his best friend. There was a feral snarl on Hiro's normally passive face, and something in his tone awakened the hint of a memory in Shuichi's mind.

"No!" he called out, clutching to Ryuichi in blind panic, his entire body racked with sobbing cries, "No Yuki, no!"

Hiro dropped his ice cream and Ryuichi froze where he sat, each turning horrified eyes to their friend. 

"Nani?"

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Reader Reviews:

Kai4Me: I'm really glad you like my story, but no, there will be no love triangles. #smile# I hope you enjoy the chapter!

LoneAuthor: Yeah, Eiri is out of character to a degree, but he was drinking like that due to guilt. He had never told his dad he loved him, he had a lot of regrets about that and other things. Eiri is a drinker since he can't really relate to reality in any other way. And he will grovel, but I can't tell you too much more than that. I hope you liked this chapter, and that I'll see you around. 

RainaSukiMiyuki: Oh don't worry about it, I don't mind. I'm glad you like my story, it makes me happy! I think you'll really like the scene where Shuichi does get his memories back. #wink# I hope you liked this chapter too!

DarakuTenshi101: Yeah, I feel bad for Yuki to an extent, but don't worry, in other stories, there will be the Shuichi x Yuki pairing, and others with even different pairings. Thank you for your encouragement, #hugs# and I hope you like this chapter as well!

KareNeko: I'm glad that you liked the fluff, I like writing fluff, especially between those two! Thank you for your encouragement, and I hope you like this chapter. 

Alaine: I did, I did update! I hope you like the chapter! 

Serenity Usagi Tenou: I'm glad that you not only like my story, but love it. You gave me writer's warm fuzzies. Thank you! Yeah, Eiri is going to have a rough time, but oh well, it works for my story that way. And I love writing Ryu/Shu fluff, so don't worry, there will be plenty of it in the future too! I hope you like this chapter!

Sa-Chan: Positive reviews are never repetitive, and I love them! Yes, sweet moments are very fun to write, and they will be running rampant throughout this story. Where will I take this story? Ah, I can't tell you that, but I'm glad I have your attention. I hope you enjoy the chapter too!

SarahFreak: I agree with you, and subsequent Ryu/Shu stories of mine probably won't start out like this, but who knows, right? I have a lot of fun exploring Ryuichi's sensitive and caring side, as much as I love the neurotic tendencies he has, it's character-building to see his more mature face too. I'm so glad that you like my story, and I hope that you like this chapter as well!

Chibi Fujiwara: I'm sorry that you think my chapters are a little on the short side, my apologies dear reviewer, #bows# but I am glad that you like my characterization and my artistic license with the bishonen boys from Gravitation. I was going for very vivid and graphic when I described the attack on Shuichi, yet hopefully not enough to truly upset anyone. I didn't want to do that to Shuichi, but it makes for a good story, and he's fictional, so hopefully he'll forgive me. Thank you for encouraging the story, and I hope you like this chapter!


	5. The Voice of Vengeance

Pocky and Promises

Chapter 5: The Voice of Vengeance

Disclaimer: This is getting old…. I've included disclaimers previously, so unless I come up with another creative manner to do so, no more disclaimers for this story, everybody okay with that?

Dedication: To all my reviewers again, because you guys help keep me motivated and encouraged, not to mention all of the writer warm fuzzies.

Warning: Ryu-chan kicks ass.

Ryuichi and Hiro sought to regain their composure from the veritable atomic bomb dropped on them by Shuichi. They took seats at the corners of the foot of Shuichi's bed and began to interrogate him about his outburst. His recollection of that night was still hazy. He seemed to remember Yuki's presence, that they had fought, and that Yuki had hit him. Further detail escaped him as he couldn't recall the events leading up to his collapse in Ryuichi's arms.

"Was anyone else there?" Hiro asked, his fingers itching for action, and strongly craving a cigarette.

"Please try Shu-chan," Ryuichi urged, desperate to know the truth for purely personal reasons. Assuming that damned Uesugi, Yuki Eiri-san had been there, why hadn't he stopped whoever had attacked Shuichi?

"I still don't know, it's so blurred together. I can't think of anyone else who would have had reason to be at the apartment at that hour, but there's no way my Yuki could have done that to me. I know he loves me, even if he's terrible about showing it," Shuichi said softly, more for himself than either of his friends.

"Then why does he never say it? Why does he treat you like crap, and expect you to come back time and time again like some abused animal? Why do you keep making excuses for him?" Ryuichi only realized that he had vocalized his thoughts when he found Shuichi and Hiro had stopped talking, shocked into silence; he could feel their gazes scorching him in their intensity. Taking a 'Twix' moment as they said in America, he rose and strode as nonchalantly as he could manage to the window, drawing steadying breaths, his mind on overdrive. How was he going to cover this one up?

"Gomen ne Shu-chan," he apologized to the panes of glass, sighing deeply, mastering the catastrophic emotions running rampant in his head then turning to face Shuichi. "I just can't stand seeing you in this hospital, hurt so far down that neither Hiroshi-kun nor I can reach you. It pisses me off to hear you talking about Uesugi-san, defending him like he's your knight in shining armor or something ridiculous like that, when he hasn't come to see you once, hell, he hasn't even called to ask how you were doing. He doesn't deserve your love Shu-chan, and I don't think he really makes you happy," he finished quietly, unknowingly stating the opinion of all those closest to the pink haired prodigy.

"He, he tries, I think," Shuichi retorted, and groaned in frustration, his reply sounded feeble to his own ears.

Ryuichi spread his hands in temporary defeat, and smiled sheepishly. "We care about you Shuichi," he dug himself a little deeper into that abyss," we love you," and Shuichi melted under the power of that smile, a slight glow lit his face. Why couldn't Yuki ever be that open with him? And he was jolted out of his thoughts when Ryuichi laid his hand over Shuichi's own, squeezing gently before bringing it up swiftly to graze his lips over the back, and Shuichi couldn't fight the fanboy squeal that escaped him.

"Stop thinking about Uesugi-san for now, Shu-chan," teased the elder singer, "your blood pressure says so," here he indicated the machine which marked a spike in the young man's systolic pressure, and he grinned at the becoming blush that danced across Shuichi's face. Little did Ryuichi know that he himself had brought about the increase of Shuichi's temperature and heart rate.

"Mou. If you say so Ryu-chan," Shuichi pouted, then attempted to settle back down into his sheets, and before he knew it, the medication guided him into dreamless slumber.

"He just doesn't know that he isn't invincible, does he?" Ryuichi asked of Hiro who had fallen strangely silent for a while now.

"Of course he is Ryuichi. I'm surprised at you. He may work himself into a frenzy the degree of which even starving piranhas have never seen, and cry like the world is ending, but he is. He fights for others, but he won't fight for himself unless it's music. He sings for the world, and the world loves him for it. Shuichi never gives up, which is both one of his greatest strengths, and one of his greatest weaknesses. He'll need time to get past Yuki-san, so be patient with him while he works that out; wait until then to tell him," Hiro suggested, stretching, then stood to leave.

"Tell him what?" Ryuichi questioned, blinking rapidly in confusion.

"That you love him," the guitarist whispered with a wink.

Ryuichi blanched," I don't know where you got that idea Hiroshi-kun, but I-"

Hiro cut him off with a dismissive wave of the hand. "Everyone knows Ryuichi, don't freak out about it so much."

"Everyone?" squeaked a mortified Ryuichi.

"Well, everyone except Shuichi that is. Invincible he may be, but he's dense as lead and twice as oblivious," Hiro commented affectionately, "oh, and brush his hair would you? It looks like some cotton candy fungus decided to take up residence on top of his head, good night!" he called over a shoulder, snickering as he left a shell-shocked Ryuichi to watch over the sleeping Shuichi.

Unsure as to whether he trusted himself to touch the boy, even in this most benign of ways. Ryuichi had a nice, five minute long staring contest with the hairbrush, and lost as he reached out to grasp it. He wanted a reason, any reason at all, to feel the soft, thick locks, to look on his protégé's face without scrutiny for doing so, and had to wonder at his sanity for the umpteenth time since Shuichi's hospitalization. He was just another one of many pretty faces, wasn't he? What the hell was so special about him anyway? Ryuichi really couldn't figure that out, and sometimes Shuichi had him so tied up in knots, so sick with barely controlled want, that it made his tummy ache.

"Did you know that I wrote 'Shining Collection' for you Shu-chan?" he mumbled softly, running first his fingertips then the brush through the tangled jungle of Shuichi's hair. "Neither did I until I sang it. Then I knew that it was for you, because you helped me be shiny again, and I can't thank you enough for it," he paused mid-stroke to lean forward and breathe in Shuichi's scent," we'd shine together Shu-chan, you know that, right? We'd outshine everyone else, and I think we'd be happy. I could shine just for you, if you'd shine for me. And I'd never let that Uesugi bastard near you again. He dulls your shine Shuichi. Can you imagine how sparkly you'd be if you were with me?"

His monologue was interrupted when Shuichi shifted, and the top of the hospital robe slipped, revealing a tantalizing hint of neck and collarbone. But his torture wasn't complete until Shuichi had moved toward the comfort of his hand, and as he did so, the blankets fell down past his waist, and the gown had ridden up, and Ryuichi whimpered at the length of the top of a shapely thigh, the curve of exposed hip bone, and the shadowed outline of his buttocks, propped up just so, just enough to taunt him and put dangerous thoughts into his thirsty mind.

"There is no god," Ryuichi lamented, though he seemed unable to tear his eyes away from the display before him, and it took every ounce of his willpower to keep his hand on the handle of the brush, and the other clenched tightly at his side.

He wasn't prepared for Shuichi to wake up and peer up at him with sleep-laden eyes, and to hear his own name leave the other's lips.

"Ryu-chan, what are you doing?"

"I'm brushing your hair Shu-chan," he smiled nervously, grateful for the minimal light filtering through the slatted blinds to cover his flustered state.

"Oh," Shuichi replied, in a bit of a daze still, and stretched like a cat, teasing Ryuichi with a flash of pale stomach. Then he grinned crookedly at the other man, and Ryuichi felt a slow lurch in the general region of his heart that trickled down to twist around his abdomen like the spiral of smoke. He nearly came unglued when a satiny hand trailed up his arm and tugged him gently down.

"Shu-chan, what are you doing?" Ryuichi sputtered, glancing around for an evasion plan from the mesmerizing temptation before him who was currently regarding him with a half-pout on supple lips that ate away at his resolve, and lidded eyes that begged him closer.

"I want to cuddle," was the reply, followed by an extra pull on Ryuichi's arm, and kami help him, he lost his balance and landed precariously, splayed across Shuichi's torso, his breath shaky against the shell of Shuichi's ear.

Every inch of his body screamed immanent danger, but at the moment, it was very hard to listen when the object of his attention, and affection, was so pliable beneath him, and so very, very within easy reach. "You need to sleep Shu-chan," he choked out, hoping that his voice was normal, "so we can't cuddle right now." He also hoped that this argument was sound, lest he have to explain the real reason why he couldn't cuddle with the other singer.

Shuichi whined," But Ryu-chan, you _always _want to cuddle with me. What's wrong? Did I make you mad?" he beseeched, lower lip all a quiver.

Oh sweet Jesus. "No of course not Shu-chan," Ryuichi began, and was stopped short with the look that Shuichi fixed on him, and gulped.

"Then there's no reason why you can't cuddle with me, is there?" he smiled, the thing tangible and wicked when painted across his too touchable lips, and Ryuichi consigned his soul to its own fate for now. What else could he do? Much like himself, Shuichi tended to get what he wanted. He just prayed that he survived the night.

"Alright, alright Shuichi, you win. But please let me up to change into pajamas at least, will you?" Ryuichi gave in, planning to take the time to calm his raging hormones.

"Sure Ryu-chan," he permitted, then paused," oh, could you help me into some pajamas too? I should be getting out of here soon, and I'm really sick of these paper thin robes," he asked sweetly.

Ryuichi was twitching ever so slightly, and nodded quickly before getting off of the smaller man's chest, and opening a drawer in the bureau supplied by the institution to locate a pair of soft cotton shorts and an oversized tee shirt. There was no way in heaven, hell, or earth that he was going to let the punk get away with only wearing one of the articles of clothing, as was his general habit. He'd lose it, and the mental image didn't help much either. Gritting his teeth, he came back to Shuichi's side, and eased him out of the standard gown, and slipped the shirt over his head, helping his slender arms get through the sleeves, ever mindful of the intravenous tubing. The sheets lay in Shuichi's lap, shielding his lower half from Ryuichi's protesting eyes but thankful conscience, and Ryuichi handed him the pair of shorts, curious about the younger singer's ability to put them on himself, and sure enough,

"Ryu-chan, I can't get them up," he complained, and upon attempting to give Ryuichi a better angle to assist, he managed to reveal plenty of skin to his idol who was stepping into a pair of long cotton pants himself, but looked over his shoulder to see what was the matter, and immediately regretted it.

"Alright, I'll help you, give me one second," he said, tying the drawstring of the pants, the only accursed barrier that would separate him from the warmth of Shuichi tonight.

He brushed his own hair quickly, honestly quite ready for sleep, and the concept of a bed, even a shared one, did sound like a nice change. Hospital chairs and couches just weren't that comfortable; it seemed that they made no exceptions, even if you were Sakuma Ryuichi.

"Okay Shu-chan, lay back and I'll get them up for you," he said kindly, keeping all dirty thoughts far, far away. Shuichi still needed his care, so he'd suck it up and deal with the aftermath at a later date, quashing his own conflicting emotions to also be dealt with later.

Unsure what he was about to face, Ryuichi kept his eyes closed as he fumbled for the fabric, and only upon finding it, did he open them. This was perhaps not the wisest decision he could have made, but at least a healthy view of butt cheek was the worst thing he encountered. He asked Shuichi to lift his hips as best he could, to tug the back of the shorts up too, and that was when he encountered another flaw in this plan. For when his hands that had become relatively accustomed to Shuichi's body skidded onto bare skin, the top of his rear to be precise, he felt a constriction in the loose pants that had nothing to do with the drawstring or the half-gallon of ice cream he had consumed throughout the day, and worried slightly about Shuichi's reaction. Maybe the kid would be too tired to notice. Gritting his teeth, blocking out the sensation, the way that Shuichi's body seemed to be drawn to his, and vice versa, only helped so long, and haunted him in the minute or so it took to get the boxer shorts in their proper place.

"Much better," Shuichi beamed, more comfortable by far in the new clothes, eager to cuddle with Ryuichi and get to sleep.

"I'm glad pika pika Shu-chan," Ryuichi replied, currently leaning heavily on his juvenile mannerisms to make it through this night in one piece, and to still have one of his best friends come morning.

"Well get in here with me already," Shuichi stifled a yawn, and left room on the bed for Ryuichi to share, curling into a ball of Shuichi fluff.

"Hai hai, I'm coming," he muttered, still highly anxious about this whole thing, but the now peaceful look on Shuichi's face was worth the eternal ass kicking, so he gingerly got into bed beside him, and had to remind himself to keep breathing when he found a set of arms around his neck, and a heart shaped face resting against his chest, and a leg that suddenly entwined with his own. Yeah, that racing blood that had begun to cool just got thrown onto an open flame. He had this sneaking suspicion that it was going to be a long night.

His suspicions were confirmed when it became apparent that Shuichi didn't just like to cuddle when sleepy, but seemed to find his last shred of self-restraint, and jump up and down on it. Every way that the man moved was sinuous and languid, his words incoherent but melodic all the same, and as Shuichi's movements worked at his physical resistances, his voice, and the quiet little noises he made, brought lusty thoughts to his brain yet again. Someone was seriously trying to test him, and he was deathly afraid that too much more, and he would fail miserably. One man can only take so much, without even a kiss to tide him over. 'Oh great, so I'm pouting now, ' thought Ryuichi, 'just what I need, one more nail into my coffin, likely provided by Seguchi Tohma himself were he to hear about any of this. ' Then Shuichi's restless leg brushed the seam of his pajama pants, and he wanted to whine.

Out of sheer desperation, Ryuichi kissed Shuichi's cheek, and began to sing. It was nothing special, nothing discernible, and certainly complete nonsense, but it had the desired effect. Shuichi ceased writhing against him, and his mutterings lowered, his steady breath tickling the side of Ryuichi's neck. Ryuichi gave up the fight to remain awake, allowing his eyes to flutter closed, and the disjointed music faded to muted volume. Ryuichi drew Shuichi tighter against him subconsciously, and was unaware of the violet eye that slowly opened to peruse his youthful face.

"I haven't been able to find the words to thank you Ryu-chan, and I don't have the courage to do this when you're awake, so I'll just do it now before I lose my nerve," Shuichi whispered, his voice barely audible as his lips descended over those of his idol, and Ryuichi would never know how very much it cost him to leave it at a simple, sweet, meeting of lips. 'Well that was stupid,' he reasoned, lying back down and tracing tiny circles over Ryuichi's chest with an idle fingertip, 'I can't believe I did that, but that was incredible. I've never even felt like that with Yuki. What does that mean?' he wondered as he sighed into Ryuichi's neck and allowed himself to drift back to sleep.

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Tatsuha opened a drowsy brown eye, and all traces of sleep quickly vanished when he realized that Eiri wasn't where he had left him. A brief survey of the temple told him all he needed to know. Eiri's cigarettes were gone, as well as his laptop, indicating that his brother had indeed gone back to Tokyo. Foregoing breakfast, Tatsuha dressed in a flash and tore out of the temple doors to his motorcycle. Although he wanted Eiri to make amends with his little lover, he wanted to be there in case something went wrong, as he had a nagging feeling that it would.

"Damn you aniki, why couldn't you have waited for me you bastard," he spat at no one in particular, though the birds around him were startled by the vehemence of his words. " You better not do anything stupid," he growled, setting his jaw and opening the throttle of his Honda as he headed west to Tokyo.

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Uesugi, Yuki Eiri struggled to maintain his calm, cool demeanor, but his control was slipping at the sight visible just through the cracked door of Shuichi's hospital room. He flexed his hands, still trying to force back the fury that threatened to overwhelm him. His Shuichi was draped across another man, and they looked plenty cozy in that tiny hospital bed, his body curled up against the other man's in peaceful repose. But what really pissed him off, was the gentle smile on Shuichi's lips. That expression was supposed to be reserved for Eiri and only Eiri, and generally after they had made love, or on the occasions he allowed Shuichi to sleep next to him. The idea that Shuichi might have been intimate with whoever that was, was unthinkable, yet there his Shuichi lay like some whore for any to see.

Oh how he ached to storm in that door and grab that man and beat him to within an inch of his life, the thought tempted him greatly, but no. No, he would bide his time until Shuichi was alone again, and he would remind the brat just _who _he belonged to. Shuichi was _his, _only his, and if he had forgotten for some reason, Eiri would just have to remind him. He licked his lower lip at the thought and retreated to the shadows for the moment where he blended in surprisingly well. Yes, once Shuichi was awake and alone, he'd jog his memory.

Eiri's opportunity came when Ryuichi wakened, shaking his head at the picture he and Shuichi would present to innocent bystanders, and carefully disengaged himself from the younger singer's embrace. Stifling a yawn, Ryuichi got dressed for the day in a pair of ripped jeans, a black long sleeved shirt with a Bad Luck tee shirt over the top. He wasn't kidding when he had told Shuichi he was a fan, and the jeans, well, they were comfortable. A puzzled expression crossed his face. That was funny, he didn't remember eating anything strawberry flavored yesterday, and he swore that he'd brushed his teeth before being drug into bed by Shuichi. The memory of that particular event sparked a light blush to pervade his smooth cheeks. He'd have to ask Shuichi if he'd noticed anything last night, as this was just too strange. Stretching lazily, Ryuichi glanced over at the still sleeping Shuichi. He was just so freaking cute, no wonder Ryuichi was so attracted to him he mused as he cautiously ran a hand through Shuichi's silky hair. His hands envied his eyes their survey of the smaller man's body, allowing himself to indulge in this minute exploration, and though it left him wanting more, he was content enough with this stolen moment of time. Yet again, Ryuichi lamented that it had not been him who had captured the attention of the beautiful cherub just within his reach.

'Uesugi Eiri is a fool,' Ryuichi concluded as he smiled at the tranquil look on Shuichi's face. It had been a while since he'd seen the other man sleep so peacefully. A rumble in the general region of his tummy made his previously ignored hunger known, and thus, with a final twirl of Shuichi's shocking pink locks, Ryuichi left the boy to go in search of food. Ice cream was a fantastic thing, but it sure didn't like to stay in your tummy too long na do na. He grinned as he skipped down the hallways, much to the nurses' dismay. But he was excited, since Shuichi had been put in the hospital, he hadn't much felt like frolicking or being silly, but now that it seemed his friend would indeed recover, his heart felt a little more like its old self. As Ryuichi skipped on his merry way to the cafeteria in the basement of the hospital, a slim shadow crept forward, a pale hand clasping the handle of Shuichi's door.

Ignoring hospital policy, Uesugi Eiri lit a cigarette, and exhaled sharply, closing the door behind him as he raked fevered eyes down the form of his lover. Amazingly, his Shuichi still looked so innocent, lying there asleep, no evidence of his crimes tainted the flesh Eiri yet craved. He had missed the taste of those lips, missed the sensation of skin on skin, hell, he even missed the terrible lyrics the brat drilled into his brain until he shut him up with a kiss in the pretense of passion. Though, he admitted, more often than not, something in the kid sparked his ardor like few others had, the constriction of his slacks indicated that much.

He set down the flowers he had brought in favor of stealing a kiss, and was livid when he did indeed smell another man's cologne on _his _boyfriend. The thought of anyone else touching what was his, what he had never wanted from the beginning, but had gradually, begrudgingly come to accept, tolerate, and enjoy at times sent him over the edge. His touch was rough as he brought the traitorous face to his, determined to reassert his place and Shuichi's purpose. He'd be damned if he let this go unchecked.

Eiri's lips crashed down on Shuichi's, bruising in their haste, and the nip to Shuichi's lower lip was anything but gentle. His hands were in the lurid pink hair, fisting there as he sought to reclaim his property. Oh yes, he would remind Shuichi just who he belonged to, and how, and his groin twitched at the thought.

'Damn, the kid is waking up,' he noted, slanting more of his weight over the slight frame beneath him. His toy wouldn't get away again, and he covered Shuichi's startled cries with his sensuous, cruel mouth.

Shuichi began to panic, flashes of the night his idealized relationship with the writer had been supremely obliterated danced behind his eyes tightly clenched against the frightful intrusion. Previously, he would always have welcomed Yuki's touch, no matter whether it was gentle or not, but he was shaking uncontrollably and attempted to will his mind away at this moment. He now had a sinking feeling that Yuki had not only been there to witness the assault, but that he had been the perpetrator. He didn't want to deal with these thoughts right now, he couldn't allow himself to return to that time, but fate was often cruel. It seemed that he had some of the worst luck of anyone he knew. Pain was beauty, and love was often pain, but this was utterly ridiculous.

As a harsh tongue continued to dissect him as well as any scalpel, the door to his room flew open with a bang, and Shuichi gasped at what he saw. Sakuma Ryuichi stood in the doorframe, panting heavily, his blue eyes dark with an emotion never before seen on the visage of the sinfully sexy lead singer. Ryu-chan was pissed. Agitation, passionate anger, rage, danced across his features, and his fury crackled like electricity around him. It appeared as though it was Judgment Day for one preoccupied author. Shuichi had never felt quite so grateful to another being in his life, as the last time Ryuichi had saved him, he'd been too delirious to really know what was going on. But right now, he was perfectly aware of what would have happened if Ryu-chan had not stormed in, the face of retribution itself.

Now, Sakuma Ryuichi was a good person, perfectly logical and kind. He analyzed his environment, through Kumagoro's perspective if need be, and decided on the best course of action from his interpretation. He was always watching, calculating the best approach to a situation so that it would work out the best in the end. But this approach was shot to shit when he saw none other than Uesugi Eiri bent over Shuichi, all but crushing him into the too thin mattress, and something inside him snapped.

Violet eyes were shut tightly against the onslaught, but flew wide open when he felt Yuki's lips torn away from him. A soft gasp slipped past his parched lips when he saw the author thrown to the floor, accompanied by a very un-Ryuichi-like stream of curses.

"You fucking bastard, what's your fucking problem? Hasn't Shuichi suffered enough because of you? Haven't you ruined him enough already asshole? No? Now you have to come back and finish what you started? You will never touch him again, pretty boy," Ryuichi snarled, his fist meeting Eiri's face without warning.

Shuichi hugged himself as the fight continued, and was shocked that Yuki was losing. He'd never really pictured the lovable, cuddly Ryu-chan as a fighter, but he was learning quickly that apparently, there was more than one face to his friend.

His idol looked every inch a god, all fury and righteous anger. He was immune to the attempts Eiri made to retaliate; his sweat-ridden mahogany hair seemed to spring back from his face of its own volition. Nothing could touch him today, least of all Uesugi Eiri, who was as far beneath him as a minnow to a falcon. He rained punch after punch upon the previously unblemished face, welts blooming on Eiri's cheek, and small cuts appearing in the shape of Ryuichi's ring. He'd never thought of it as a weapon before, but it was serving that purpose now. Once the writer lay on the floor, he kicked him once, twice, thrice, four, five times before some of his wrath abated. Panting, Ryuichi stood over the proud form of Uesugi Eiri, and kicked him once more for good luck. He wanted the arrogant prick to feel as helpless and alone as Shuichi had felt that night, but knew that while he could not deliver ample punishment, the romance novelist would remember this for quite a while.

Leaning down to appraise the damage, Ryuichi grabbed the collar of Eiri's blue Oxford shirt and brought the other man face to face with him, and smirked at the blatant fear that echoed in his frigid golden eyes.

"You'll never, never touch Shu-chan again," he growled in finality, shoving the disoriented man back to the floor, letting the back of the blonde head strike the floor with a dull thud, disgust etched across the face that could have been sculpted from Olympus itself.

Ryuichi was a god unveiled in all of his glory, and the rest of the world was at his mercy, but beyond the might of his splendor, he only had eyes for the shivering form huddled in the bed.

"Shu-chan," he called softly, approaching his skittish friend as he pressed the call button, formulating a lie to tell the nurse when she arrived.

Shuichi's only response was to fly into Ryuichi's arms, sobbing uncontrollably into his shoulder, burying his nose in the side of his neck, refusing to let his gaze scan over the prone form of his now former lover. He kept his lilac eyes closed tightly, and only half-listened to Ryuichi tell the nurse a story that Yuki had seemingly come to visit the convalescing Shuichi when a maniacal fangirl had run into the room and started beating up on the blonde author before disappearing as quickly as she had come. Eiri had fallen unconscious at this point and was unable to contradict the bizarre chain of events that Ryuichi invented on the spot.

He could even lie with a smile, and Shuichi wasn't quite sure what to make of that, but then his deity turned that smile on him, and Shuichi was lost. His god was unnervingly close, and he trembled under the magnitude of those royal blue eyes. Where had he felt that sensation before? His mind was reeling and he let himself drown yet again in the depths of his savior's cerulean gaze.

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There we go, end of chapter 5. Holy crap that took a while, sorry! I just kind of ran amok with this, but I liked how it turned out regardless. Big thanks to my lovely reviewers, and I hope you enjoy!

Reader Responses:

KareNeko: Filet-o-Yuki ne? Nah, not quite slice and dice, but did you enjoy the fight scene anyway? I had fun writing it, Ryuichi all bad ass and hot. I hope you enjoy the chapter my dear! Thank you for your continued support!

Sa-Chan: You're welcome, you're welcome! Aww, my story is like crack to you? That's awesome! I hope I partially satisfied your curiosity, and the rest of what happened will be revealed in later chapters. Enjoy this latest installment and thank you for continuing to encourage me!

DarakuTenshi101: I'm glad you liked it, and I hope you like this chapter as well. I have fun writing fluff and stuff. I love writing cute scenes between Shuichi and Ryuichi and little conversations between Shuichi and Hiro. Please enjoy and I appreciate your constant reviewing each chapter!

RainaSukiMiyuki: Yay, another Pocky and Promises addict! I'm trying to convert as many as people as possible, lol. I hope you like this chapter too and thanks for helping me keep going!

Kaoru Sayuri Kamiya: I'm so glad you like my story, and I do apologize for the cliffhanger ending. Hopefully this helps make amends? Enjoy na do na!

Haruhi Komodori: I love you too? #giggles# Thank you so much for your compliment. I try to have well written stories, and I greatly appreciate your encouraging words. Every author needs a little lovin' now and then. Yep, Yuki's the bad guy here, but in other stories he might not be. Enjoy the chapter!

Rizay: Shuichi has remembered parts of that night but he isn't yet aware of the fact that it was Yuki who raped him. When he does remember that, it'll be pretty damn intense in the story. Thank you for reviewing and please enjoy the new chapter!

TwilightOkami: Yep, Ryu/Shu goodness, or at least I'd like to think it's goodness. Thank you for saying it's like an actual story, I try to write in such a manner. Yes I've seen Gravitation Ex, and I really, really want to read the next volume of it. There will be all sorts of fun, fluffy, some steamy scenes between the sparkling, bishonen boys of Gravitation. Lead singers are hot in Gravitation, ne?

Sarahfreak: I'm glad you like the story and I hope you like this chapter as well. I thank you for taking the time to review, and in other stories, there won't necessarily be Yuki-bashing, but in this one, he's naughty. Bad Yuki. #spanks# O.O

Serenity Usagi Tenou: Oh I'm just happy that you took the time to review! I love reviews, they make me happy! Yes, Shuichi's brain has blocked out the traumatic events, but shh, don't tell. Thank you for continuing to give me support and encouragement. I love Ryuichi too, I just might go straight for a guy like him, because he's just that cute! Well, I do hope you enjoy this chapter as well, and take care!

Cherry-Trilogies: I'm entertained by your username; it's definitely different. I'm glad that I have you eager for the next part, that's generally what I'm going for. I'm having a lot of fun with this story, and I love all the reviews I'm getting. Reviews make my world go 'round, and a lot more shiny! I'm so glad you like my story, and I hope you enjoy this chapter as well na do na! I greatly appreciate the fact that you think my story is worthy enough to warrant pestering for. Arigatou.


	6. Coming Clean and a Legend's Tale

Pocky and Promises

Chapter 6: Coming Clean, and a Legend's Tale

Disclaimer: Yeah, I still don't own Gravitation. Alas.

Shuichi stared into the impenetrable darkness that surrounded him, the severity of his white bed the main contrasting positive to all the negative space that overwhelmed him. Ryuichi's steadily rising and falling chest shone in the flickers of moonlight that shimmered through the heavy blinds, but Shuichi couldn't look at it lest he do something stupid, like reach out his hand and stroke the smooth skin. No sooner had he thought the unthinkable, than his traitorous appendage defied all of his carefully construed reasoning. He sucked his lower lip into his mouth, silently furious that his body didn't seem to want to listen to commands tonight. Damn it all to hell, his lack of self-control around the other singer was becoming frightfully frequent, and highly unpredictable.

He squirmed in his discomfort. He needed to speak, to say something, anything to alleviate the pressure in his chest. He didn't understand entirely, why he felt such a compulsion to speak, but it was chafing away at his determination. His breath hitched when he saw the other man shiver under his touch. This was wrong in so many ways, but he couldn't bring himself to stop just yet. Trailing a wayward fingertip down Ryuichi's side, Shuichi flushed when his friend whispered softly in his sleep, and finally forced the intrusive search of his hands to end. Having slaked his curiosity for the moment, Shuichi lay back, resting his head tentatively flush to Ryuichi's shoulder. He had barely closed his eyes when a voice, _that_ voice, husky from sleep, wound around the convex curve of his ear. Entranced, Shuichi brought dazed violet eyes to meet those of his idol, and forgot how to breathe properly.

"Shuichi," Ryuichi tried again, smiling slowly at the adorably, positively, lost expression on the other's face.

Shuichi blinked once, twice, and hissed at his unfocused eyes to concentrate on Ryuichi's words, rather than stare at him like some zombie-infected fanboy. He was his friend after all, not just an admirer.

"Hai, Ryuichi?" Shuichi finally replied, keeping the owner of that divine voice in his constant field of vision.

Ryuichi shuddered at that, just a little. Somehow, the loss of all honorifics came across as intimate when falling from those petal pink lips. Composing himself as much as possible in his sleep-leaden state, he spoke,

"Shu-chan, what were you thinking about the other day when you wouldn't tell Hiroshi-kun or me about it? What goes on in those nightmares you keep having? You know you can trust me, right Shu-chan?"

Shuichi went to reply, but was distracted by the form of the legend next to him. It was official; he was a whore, staring at Ryuichi like he was some sex symbol on display. He attempted to salvage his position by reminding himself that Ryuichi _was_ a sex god, especially when he was singing. These thoughts brought on a massive nosebleed, and Shuichi quickly confiscated a box of tissues to stem the flow.

Surprised and worried despite the haze that yet clouded his brain, Ryuichi moved to tilt Shuichi's head forward, and reminded him to pinch the bridge of his nose, and breathe through his mouth. Shuichi looked at him in confusion, weren't you supposed to move your head back if you had a nosebleed? He asked as much of Ryuichi once the blood had stopped streaming freely from his nostrils.

Ryuichi shook his head and giggled quietly, "Silly Shu-chan, so many people think that, but Tohma-kun told me once that it's actually the other way around. If you let your head fall backwards, you can actually upset your tummy because the blood will drain down. Some people have even choked on their own blood." Ryuichi paused to consider what he'd just said and pulled a face. That was disgusting to think about, he decided, no matter how true.

Shuichi made little gagging noises and threw the used tissues away in the wastebasket next to his nightstand.

"Okay, I believe you, but that was seriously too much information Ryu-chan," Shuichi said, his nose still somewhat wrinkled from the thought.

"Gomen, gomen Shu-chan. Now, back to what I was trying to ask you before you suddenly started spouting blood from bodily orifices, what are you seeing in your nightmares?" Ryuichi's voice was soft but his undertone suggested that Shuichi should answer him.

Shuichi released a small puff of air, and crossed his arms over his chest. "You know Ryu-chan, you haven't exactly been forthcoming either. Remember when I asked what had you and Hiro looking almost murderous the other day? I know that you were just trying to get my mind off it, but I didn't forget. Everyone underestimates both you and me, you know that don't you? I'm reminded of it every day, so I know when you're trying to get away with something," Shuichi finished, fixing Ryuichi with a rather serious expression.

Caught, Ryuichi grinned apologetically. "Can you really blame me? I had my reasons, as did Hiroshi-kun for keeping silent at that moment. We didn't want you to suffer any more than you already have. We didn't want to inflict any more damage or pain on you. And what had us so angry, wasn't something that you would have wanted to talk about. We're both so worried about you Shu-chan. Hiroshi-kun doesn't want to see you get hurt anymore, and I feel the same way. I know you love him," and here he paused, at the slight hint of pain that constricted his chest," but we don't think he's good for you, at least not anymore. We don't know what happened to cause him to change in this way, but as your friends, we feel that it's up to us to keep you safe and happy. We love your smile, and the thought of whoever hurt you makes us livid. We can't imagine why anyone would want to hurt you like that, let alone how they could. You're sweet and silly and kind, and it's just beyond us how someone could do that, especially to you."

Shuichi sighed, "I suppose it's my turn to talk now, isn't it? My, nightmares," he began hesitantly, "my nightmares confuse me so much, and it's so hard to tell which parts of it are just my imagination, and which might have actually happened. I can only go so far into the sequence before all I see is red and black, red and black surrounding me, suffocating me, cutting into me. And I see, I see Yuki's face. I don't know why he didn't interfere, and that scares me almost more than the nightmares themselves. I think, sometimes, that there wasn't anyone else there that night," he finished quietly; the sparkle of tears lay glittering on his inky eyelashes. "I think it might have been Yuki, himself, who, did that to me," as if recognizing the impact of this statement, he met Ryuichi's gaze unsteadily. "Please don't tell Hiro, I think he'd do something stupid, and the excuse of a maniacal fan wouldn't work a second time I don't think."

Ryuichi stared at Shuichi in heated silence. "What are you saying Shu-chan? That your Yuki was the one who beat you and raped you? Oh my god, my poor Shu-chan," he sobbed quietly, taking Shuichi into his arms.

"Just wait until Tohma-kun hears about this. He'll probably have a stroke," Ryuichi thought out loud, and created an instantaneous response from Shuichi.

"Oh no, Ryu-chan you can't tell Seguchi-san about this! He'll try to separate Yuki and me more than ever now! Oh god, this is going to be so bad. He's going to kill me!" Shuichi panicked, shaking slightly in Ryuichi's arms.

"There there Shu-chan, Tohma-kun isn't a bad person, he won't hurt you intentionally. But yes, it is true that this makes things infinitely more complicated. Matekou, what _was_ he thinking? I'm not sure what to say right now Shu, but we'll figure it out. We'll find out what had happened to make him do something like that, maybe get him counseling if that would help. Don't freak out about Tohma-kun, Shuichi, I'll talk to him about all of this, and I think he should be able to help us know what to do next. He just might be the answer to keeping your relationship with Uesugi-san. So don't give up all hope Shu-chan. Remember, the last thing to leave Pandora's Box, was, hope. "

Ryuichi's calming words were lost on Shuichi who was torn between wanting to cry about the mess he was currently in, and confusion about the last thing he said. He didn't think anyone, even Ryuichi could help him sort out his feelings for Yuki, but maybe he could explain what he meant about a box and how that was supposed to be encouraging.

"Ne, Ryu-chan, what about a box?" Shuichi asked curiously, rather swimming in a topic that was a bit over his head.

"Oh, the story of Pandora? You mean you haven't heard it before?" Ryuichi asked incredulously.

"Hai, how does that have to do with me and Yuki? Or with keeping Seguchi-san from killing me?"

Ryuichi's eyebrow twitched, but he began to explain the legend of Pandora. "Well Shuichi, the story is about a girl a long time ago. It's actually a myth from the Greeks, and Pandora was the most curious girl in the world. She was given a box by the gods, to guard and never open. For a time, she obeyed, and all was well. But one day, her curiosity got the best of her, and she opened it. And when she did, all the plagues on mankind flew out of the box, Despair, Death, Hunger, War, sickness, and all varieties of terrible things. She was on the floor crying, but then, one more thing came out of the box, the last, after all the rest. It was warm, comforting, and all things light, and it told her, 'Do not despair child, for I am Hope.'" The moral of this story now, is that, while all sorts of bad, unspeakable things happen all around you, there is always hope too, and in places that you rarely think to look for it." Ryuichi ended his story with a gentle smile for the upset boy currently curled in his lap.

"That's some story Ryu-chan, where did you hear it?" Shuichi asked, toying with an errant strand of Ryuichi's dark brown hair.

"Well, I've actually heard it in school, and I wasn't paying too much attention, but then, later, when my father died, my mother told the same story again. That time, I listened," he said gently.

"Gosh! All these things that I never knew about you before. I thought I knew you pretty well, but after this, I don't think I know you at all. But may I?" Shuichi questioned, peering up into the vibrant royal blue eyes of his friend.

Ryuichi was stunned, but recovered quickly enough," Of course Shu-chan, you can find out anything you'd like to about me. Isn't that what fansites are for? Hey, I thought you always claimed to be my number one fan, were you never a member of one?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Shuichi blushed prettily. "I meant that, I want to know you, from you, not from other fans who have never even met you."

Touched, Ryuichi replied, "Absolutely. You know, I don't think anyone has ever asked me something like that before, not anyone who really wanted to hear what I had to say. Thank you Shuichi, and sure, just ask me whatever you want to okay? But for now, I think we should go back to sleep. It's very late," he giggled.

"Oh, right sleep, I knew that!" Shuichi responded expectedly, and to himself, 'admit it, you had been so caught up in this conversation with Ryuichi, that you hadn't thought of time, hadn't thought of much anything else, hadn't even thought of Yuki.' Shuichi wanted to smack that inner voice, but settled for hitting his defenseless pillow in its stead. "Okay Ryu-chan, are you ready to go back to sleep?"

'No,' he thought, but smiled brightly and said," Yes. Good night and sweet dreams Shuichi."

They didn't move from that warm embrace, it just fit together perfectly, and Shuichi didn't wake again that night from nightmares or fears of real people, like Uesugi, Yuki Eiri.

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Wow, my apologies readers! You can burn me in effigy if you'd like! I just had a hellacious past few weeks; busy, school, personal crises, so I'm terribly sorry for the late update, and that it's a little shorter than the last chapter. Please forgive me! I don't see this becoming a frequent problem, and again, I'm sorry! I 3 you all!

Reader Responses:

RainaSukiMiyuki: I'm glad you liked the previous chapter so much, and like everyone, I'm sorry for my late update. Please don't hate me, and try to enjoy this chapter, brief in comparison though it is, .

DarakuTenshi: I'm glad that you liked the last chapter. I melted your heart? Aww, well Shu and Ryu are great at that, don't you think? Thank you, I'm not often told that I rock, lol. Enjoy!

Haruhi Komodori: Doesn't he though? At least, he does in my story. Yes, the strawberries, I thought that was very subtly cute, and I'm glad that it appears to have given the desired effect! Enjoy!

Sa-chan: I'm delighted that you like my story so much. And it was a lot of fun to write about Ryu as a god revealed in all of his glory and wrath. Enjoy the next chapter!

TatianaSaphira: Yes, I know, deviation. But, it seemed to fit, and if I'm putting Shuichi with Ryuichi instead of Yuki, I've already wandered off the canon path. But yes, you're right, and I try not to do things like that, but again, it just seemed to fit. I hope you like the next chapter.

Sarahfreak: I'm sure Ryuichi would have turned that million-watt smile on you for being his, "Save Shu-chan!" cheerleader. I'm glad that you really seem to be enjoying the story, and I hope you like the next chapter as well.

SerenityUsagiTenou: I'm honored, that you would think so highly of my work to say that it's the best you've read. I'm not sure what else to say about that, except that I hope to continue to live up to that standard. And one question, last review, did you mean that Hiro's thoughts on Shuichi weren't what he'd say? I was just a little confused reading though that. Thank you and I hope you enjoy this chapter too!

SailorZhuangshi: I'm glad that I have you excited for the next chapter, and here it is!

Chibi Fujiwara: I'm honored that I was able to be convincing enough to express my character enough to make you think differently of Yuki, for this fiction at least. Thank you for reviewing, and I hope you like this chapter too.

Rizay: Yes darling, I read that review, and coincidentally, went back and amended that scene a little. I added in more of Shuichi's perspective in that time between Yuki accosting him again, and Ryuichi's dramatic entrance. Thank you for pointing that out, and I hope you like this chapter.

Krstee: You're going to make me blush talking like that, lol. I appreciate your admiration of my writing style and voice, and apparently the way I structure things in my writings. Uber writer warm fuzzies, thank you so much. I'm glad that it seems I'm able to make Yuki the antagonist without getting flamed, lol. I know he's an awesome character, but he had to fill the role of scapegoat in my devious scheme to get Ryuichi together with Shuichi, lol. So, please forgive me any die-hard Yuki lovers. He might become a better person by the end of this fanfiction, but no, he still won't be with Shuichi, because I said so! Who knew I'd ever apply that line to fanfiction!? This makes me giggle. And I do hope you enjoy this chapter as well.


	7. The Bridges that Eiri Burned

Pocky and Promises

Chapter 7: The Bridges that Eiri Burned

Disclaimer: I still do not own Gravitation, 'mkay?

Dedication: To all my faithful, lovely reviewers who have stuck by me through each chapter.

Shuichi awoke to streaming, blinding sunlight that refused to listen to his pleas that it was far too early for such madness. Grumbling under his breath, he turned over a little, and came face to face with Ryuichi. He still wasn't sure what to think of the strange events having recently taken place in their friendship. They had taken to each other instantaneously upon meeting in person, really, but this was rather too peculiar. They were just so affectionate with one another; it was almost as though they liked each other, the way that he had liked Eiri. This thought quickly led to a giggling realization that Ryuichi as a friend, made a far better boyfriend than Eiri ever had, and Shuichi debated saying as much to Ryu-chan later on. Shuichi blushed vividly, what on earth was getting into him? They were just friends, right?

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Seguchi Tohma frowned as he rested a gloved hand against his effeminate chin. He hated being lied to, especially by those he occasionally relied upon for truth. Eiri rarely succeeded in hiding things from him, but whatever had transpired between the author and Tohma's star lead singer had all but escaped his notice. He pushed at his immaculate hair in a seldom seen sign of frustration, and narrowed edgy emerald eyes at the boy he had watched become a bitter man.

"Eiri-san, you know fully well that I detest shows of dishonesty, therefore, could you please desist this charade of slumber when I know that you've been awake for the past twenty minutes and look at me?" he said perhaps with a little more venom than he had originally intended.

Irritated hazel eyes threatened to become golden as they lazily flickered in Tohma's general direction, and Eiri nonchalantly righted himself in the unforgiving bed. He went to light a cigarette from the pack that should have been within easy access, and grimaced at the realization that they were no longer in said location.

"Trying to save my life again, ne Seguchi?" Eiri asked harshly, his words carefully selected to inflict a measured amount of pain onto his former mentor. He was not to be disappointed when he saw a scarcely concealed wince reflect across the other man's face. It was quickly shadowed by a grim expression, one that Eiri found he could not decipher.

Tohma's mouth settled into a grim line as he regarded his infuriating brother-in-law. "I have no time for petty scuffles, the likes of which I shall not be degraded into participating with you. Unless you care to pay me for my time, Eiri-san, I am merely here to discover your side of the story between you and Shindou-kun."

Eiri sneered at the other man's words, this was completely ridiculous. As he was restrained from indulging in a cigarette, or two, or ten, he contented himself enough with affixing an impassive smirk to his abominably, vindictively sensuous lips.

"Please, take a seat and we can discuss this matter_, _" Eiri said with faux cordiality, " though I was not aware that I had to pay you now, like some common whore, for services rendered," the corners of his lips quirked into a semblance of a smile that was all malice and no heart.

Tohma set his teeth against the onslaught of antagonism hurled his way as he situated himself on the arm of the chair next to Eiri's bed. He would not place himself at Eiri's mercy by appearing too comfortable, and it was with a wary mind that he allowed himself to smile casually, and attempt to maintain a civil conversation with his insufferable brother-in-law.

"Very well, let us forego the insulting portion of today's entertainment, shall we? I want you to tell me what on earth happened between yourself and Shindou-kun. I am at a loss as to what could have inspired such violent behavior from you towards him. Perhaps you would care to enlighten me, Eiri-san?" Tohma tilted his head to the side in an impersonation of innocence as he patiently waited for a response.

Eiri scowled at the picture of geniality that Tohma presented, it was a pitiful man indeed to be fooled by the innocuous act of the president of N-G. However, if that was how his _beloved_ relative by marriage wished to play, Eiri was no novice to the game.

"My apologies, _oniisan_," his silky voice made the term of endearment that Tohma would have once done circus tricks for, sound as cold as the treacherous waters of the Arctic, and twice as lethal. "Yes, Shuichi, such an amusing little piece of ass; then again, he must be to have captured _my_ attentions for so long, ne Tohma-kun?"

His only reply was hushed repulsion bordering on mortification, and without further ado, he continued. "And what a pretty ass he has," Eiri drawled, "it was one of the first, and only things to ever attract me to him," he noted, still wanting that damned cigarette. "That night, he came home unforgivably late, and never even called me. The brat positively reeked of another's cologne. What was I supposed to think? Was I supposed to believe his dismal excuse that he'd been at the studio all that time? Normally the kid can't stand to be away from me for any length of time, let alone almost twenty-four hours. I didn't buy it, so, "here Eiri paused for dramatic effect," so I punished him. Yes, yes, I realize now that I was a bit, excessive, in my reprimand, but Shuichi brought it upon himself. He should know by now that when my temper is aroused, I'm highly irrational, and that coupled with alcohol, it's best to stay out of my way. " He shrugged carelessly, fingers twitching for something to do, or, someone, he reasoned, trailing a hand along Tohma's knee with a leer.

Tohma jumped at that, and his tone was scathing as he shoved Eiri's hand away from his person. "You dare to touch me in such a fashion?" he asked incredulously, his fair face contorted in derision of the strongest variety.

"Why, _oniisan_, you refuse me? And here I thought that you wanted, no, burned for me. Tell me, Tohma-kun, just how hard is it to deny your deepest, most carefully guarded secret fantasy?" Eiri's hazardous fingers reached out again, pulling the other blonde closer to his frame, licking his cheek before drawing back slightly to observe the reactions his words and deeds would create. The author quickly found slim, trembling hands at the collar of his hospital attire, and smirked. So his brother-in-law was still just as easy to manipulate as he recalled. He moved to kiss Tohma, sliding his body against the other's in a move that was both graceful and serpentine, and was supremely surprised when he was shoved backwards. His lips twitched and he spoke, "I should have known that you'd want to be on top, you kinky bastard. You've wanted me beneath you for almost as long as I can remember. Well, now that you have me, what _ever_ will you do with me, oniisan? Don't you want to watch me writhe beneath you, isn't that what you've wanted for so long? My total submission to you, my body your playground?" His words were as callous as they had once been true, and Tohma pushed himself away with a snarl, barely containing his ire at the moment.

He wasn't even going to take the time to savor the astonishment that Eiri emanated, until the arrogant prick had to open his mouth again.

"Now, now Tohma-kun, I won't bite, unless you want me to," his voice was dripping with innuendo, and it sickened the other blonde to the utmost degree. Eiri leaned forward to take Tohma's hand in his, when the president snapped, rearing his hand back and letting it land with a satisfactory _smack_ across the startled cheek.

"You, disgust, me," Tohma spat viciously, turning on the half inch heel of his classic Prada loafer.

Unbeknownst to the addled vocalist, Shindou Shuichi had just earned himself another guardian. Seguchi Tohma did not claim the lowly, physical prowess of Nakano Hiroshi, the penchant for firearms like K, the maniacal obsession of Sakano, or the begrudging loyalty afforded by his own cousin Fujisaki Suguru; no, Tohma was an ally unto himself. He did not dwell on such trivial things as corporeal manifestations of his power, but instead possessed resources capable of making the most stable person's life sheer, inexorable torture. Being a sadist at times rather suited his purposes. Indeed, Shindou-kun had gained the kind of protection that only someone like Seguchi Tohma could provide, the sort that worked in methodical silence, lurking in the obscure plane of conspiracy and striking at the most inopportune time. Tohma had removed the kid gloves he'd worn with Eiri for far too long, and he was a little giddy to think of the raging fire the author had single-handedly thrown himself into.

Eiri was stunned to say the least. He had never expected Tohma to turn on him like this, and it completely threw off his plans to get Shuichi back where he belonged. 'Well fuck,' he thought, paging the nurse with a little more force than necessary. He wanted that smoke, and he wanted it _now_. The correct combination of sweet talking and threats always served to grant his wishes, and as he glanced out of his window, away from the adoring gaze of his female nurse, lit his cigarette, and this small victory tasted sweet and ripe upon his tongue. Her eyes pissed him off. They bore too close of a resemblance to Shuichi's, and he did not care to endure her presence any longer. Thus, he dismissed her with a winning grin and an autograph, complete with his telephone number reserved especially for fan service. Eiri had upheld this practice for many years predating Shuichi, and had never seen it fit to change his ways. The role of the seducer was a viable part of his character, and the nurse's breasts were perky and it had been almost three months since he'd felt a woman's curves. He had finally considered becoming monogamous with Shuichi, and then the tramp had betrayed him. The anger burned in his eyes like a fever, molten gold glinted darkly, rife with dissonance. He groaned, even his thoughts were no longer his own, the brat had polluted his mind so that he had no choice but to connect each and every fucking sentence somehow with the singer. He sneered in contempt, Shuichi had a voice that acted like a wet dream for the ears, but he couldn't write decent lyrics to save his life.

He withdrew his rage for now, there would be time for retribution later, at this point he needed to remain as calm as possible. He first needed to talk to his boyfriend, convince him that things were just fine, then get him home, and take out all of his frustrations on that slender, supple body. He wanted Shuichi away from those friends who would dare try and separate him from his property. His upper lip curled into a well-placed sneer as he imagined how the scenario would go. He was a romance novelist after all; flowery, empty words were his specialty, and a hopeless, naïve invertebrate like Shuichi wouldn't stand a chance against his plan of attack. Oh yes, bringing that clingy little lap dog back would be executed without a foreseeable hitch. He pictured Shuichi wearing a collar with himself holding the leash, envisioning his total control over the submissive, predictable fool, and ran his tongue over his bottom lip at the image. That would present a splendid coming home gift.

Eiri's alarming grin morphed into something else entirely as he recalled the precise reason why he was even in a hospital room. Sakuma Ryuichi, that five year old who posed as an adult, who had defied his authority over _his_ Shuichi, and accosted him, then later pulled some absurd story out of his thirty year old ass. Anyone with half a brain could see that it was a blatant, poorly constructed lie, but evidently he was surrounded by morons. He stubbed out his cigarette and proceeded to light another without preamble. Yes, that same Sakuma Ryuichi who his Shuichi had idolized for the course of his natural life. Eiri's gilded eyes narrowed to slits. That damn singer was to blame for all of this, he was sure of it. Shuichi was far too stupid to rebel against Eiri on his own, and that man wanted his boyfriend, badly; he could tell every time those godforsaken blue eyes followed the lithe frame of the younger man. There was no doubt lingering in those hazel depths, Sakuma Ryuichi had to be eliminated.

Uesugi Tatsuha closed the cellular phone in his hand with a resounding snap. His brother sure had a knack for attracting trouble, and he didn't envy the author his most recently acquired enemy. He made his way to his brother's room in the hospital, and wondered just what Eiri must have done in order to arouse the temper of Seguchi Tohma, not to mention Sakuma Ryuichi, who loved the world with open arms. His thoughts turned to Shuichi. The poor kid was seriously injured, and he had only his aniki to blame. The realization did not sit well with him at all. Perhaps if he had any energy left after speaking to his brother he'd stop by the other man's room.

At length he came to Eiri's room, and braced himself for the verbal assault he was likely to receive.

"Eiri?" he called, stepping through the doorway and approached the reclining figure in the bed.

His brother turned uninterested eyes to face the source of the interruption, and blinked once in mild surprise to see Tatsuha there. "What?"

"Aren't we being friendly?" Tatsuha muttered, sinking unceremoniously into the chair frequented by his latest irate visitor, his long legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles on the corner of the bed nearest him. "So what the hell did you do to piss Seguchi off so royally?"

Eiri shrugged, annoyed by his younger brother's display of informality. Theirs had never been a family of warmth or given to shows of emotion, and he saw no reason to change that now.

"He asked what happened between the brat and me, so I told him. He didn't like my story, and when I tried to console him, he got offended like some fidgety virgin and left in a huff. I hope he didn't destroy his manicure when he burned me in effigy," the blonde finished, too lackluster to shove his brother's feet off of his borrowed bed.

Tatsuha's eyes widened, and he sat up, making Eiri's intervention a moot point now anyway. "Do you mean to tell me that you told Seguchi how you hurt Shuichi and then hit on him? I seriously don't get you aniki; you are one twisted individual. No wonder Shuichi left you if you've been acting like this, I-" but he was cut off by a savage glare from Eiri, quickly followed by a swift jab to the ribs.

"I don't care to hear your prattle, Tatsuha. What's done is done, and it can't be changed, and I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't speak of my relationship with the kid as if it were in the past tense. I'm not going to let him go that easily, even if he thinks he has already found someone else. No one can claim to love me and then walk away from me."

Tatsuha shook his midnight black hair to serve as a distraction while he struggled with his self-control at his brother's actions. "What are you saying Eiri, that Shuichi has no other alternative anymore but to be with you? Sweet Buddha, Kitazawa messed you up even more than I thought," he stated flatly, running a hand over his face and closing his eyes against the reciprocal image of himself that could be seen in his older brother. "I still can't figure out what went wrong. At the temple, you were so upset, worried even, for Shuichi's wellbeing, and then you get here, and it dissolves into further violence as far as I can tell. You were _crying_ Eiri, crying because of how you hurt Shuichi. I believed that you wanted to apologize, to try and show him that you love him, not scare him to the edge of death again. Where did that emotion go? Despite his annoying tendencies, I know that you love the brat; you wouldn't be acting like this if you didn't. But honestly, how do you expect to get him to trust you after you went off on him again? You'll be lucky if he so much as speaks to you now; I hope you realize that aniki. You may have just exhausted your last 'second chance,' with your boyfriend."

Drained from the confrontation with his brother, Tatsuha made to leave, but paused when his brother's voice rose to follow him. "I'll never give up on him, and no one else will ever have him. Damnit, he's mine Tatsuha. "

Tatsuha rolled his eyes at this last comment. "You need to stop talking like this before people really start to think you are crazy Eiri. I don't know what has gotten into you, but as your darling younger brother, it is of course my duty to help you."

Eiri raised a bemused eyebrow to the retreating back of his sibling. "Oh, and what help might that be, oh deluded one?"

Tatsuha did turn then, and fixed a dazzling smile on his handsome face. "Why, prayer, of course. Ja ne!" he retorted cheerily, walking a little quicker toward the hallway. 'And a little flirtation with the nurses to strongly suggest that they get a psychiatric consult in there to speak with my brother wouldn't go amiss either,' he said darkly to himself.

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Yowzer! I haven't used that word for an eternity, but it felt appropriate to use at the end of this particular chapter. As a reviewer suggested, I traveled back to Eiri this time, and started to give some insight to his erratic behavior. I also felt the need to include Tohma, as he is not a bad guy in this story, and I wanted to reinforce that this chapter. Tatsuha's visit I thought would also help in revealing some of Eiri's current issues. Our author isn't as stable as he might like to think.

Reader Responses:

Sa-Chan: I know, aren't they just the cutest together? And who wouldn't get a nosebleed from Ryu-chan? I mean, I practically do, and I don't like boys at all like that. Thank you for the compliment, and yeah, eventually he will see that he belongs with Ryuichi. Thank you for reviewing and I hope you enjoy the chapter!

RainaSkiMiyuki: Yes, I thought that a Greek myth would be interesting in this story. A legend telling the tale of another legend, it seemed to fit. I'm glad you liked the chapter, and I hope you enjoy this one as well. Thank you for your continued encouragement.

DarakuTenshi101: Yes, I also like how I have Shuichi and Ryuichi's relationship thus far. And lookie here, you got that chapter on Eiri as requested. I think that was a good idea as it gave everyone a break from the diabetes they were likely to suffer from if they had to witness any more Ryu and Shu fluff, insert giggle here. Here's that update, and I hope you like it.

Twice-as-evil-as-you-121212: And here's another update. Don't worry, I am far too in love with this story to abandon it. Originally, I was all for Shuichi and Eiri, but somehow I got on a Shuichi and Ryuichi kick, and I took off with this story. And don't fear, everyone pants after Ryuichi, he's just too adorable. I hope you like this chapter!

Kinky: My apologies, as I am a little too tired to try and figure out all the ooh's and ah's after the first word, I hope you can forgive me. This chapter, I sought to build on Tohma's character, because although Shuichi is afraid of him, he isn't the bad guy, and hopefully this shows you that he's on Shuichi's side, which would never have happened in the canon, ne? I'm glad that you liked the chapter, and thank you for the compliment to my writing; I cherish things like that. I hope that you like this chapter too!

Rizay: Yes, I greatly enjoyed writing that particular scene. Caring moments like that are one of my favorite aspects of the Ryuichi and Shuichi pairing. They are physically attracted to one another of course, but I appreciate that you noticed the undertone of emotion that I included last chapter. Their relationship isn't based off of lust or love at first sight, but rather a gradual crescendo of confusing feelings that take time to sort out before they arrive at the conclusion that they're mean to be. At least, that's how I plan for the story to unfold. Enjoy the chapter!

Sarahfreak: Well, Ryuichi is still supremely livid about all that happened between Shuichi and Eiri, but he'd rather not frighten Shu any more than necessary right now. Never fear, there will likely be future confrontations where Ryuichi, and possibly Tohma as well, again put Uesugi, Yuki Eiri in his place. Personally, I feel just a teensy bit sorry for the author, as his life is about to collapse around him. I'm glad that you also think that my usage of the myth of Pandora's Box was well thought out, and that so many people seem to like that part. I'm also happy that you think I keep Ryuichi's character in logical realms, as he is not the easiest bishonen boy to write about, heh. I hope you enjoy this chapter too, although Ryuichi doesn't really appear this time. Gomen nasai!

Serenity Usagi Tenou: Thank you for that clarification. I was just a little confused. Thank you also for your sweet words. I love to write, I really do, and encouragement like I've received from yourself and my other constant reviewers make it easier to write, knowing that someone does indeed enjoy what I write, and how I write. I apologize that there is only the quick Ryuichi and Shuichi scene at the beginning of the chapter, but I think this chapter just needed a small vacation from the cuteness before it started to give anyone cavities. I hope you like the chapter!

Kaoru Sayuri Kamiya: I'm sorry if you don't like the fact that I respond to my reviewers at the end of my chapters, but it's simply how I do things anymore. I find that it lets my readers feel like I'm including them in the process, letting them know that their words encourage me and make me feel good about writing. I'm glad you liked the chapter, and I'm sorry that you thought it was too short, although I totally agree! I hope this one is long enough for you.

Tora: Yes, Ryuichi and Shuichi make me fangirl squeal as well, and that's just unheard of for me. But love is love, and I value all varieties of love, so I suppose that's just how it is. I think that there are situations where I like Shuichi with his beloved Yuki, but honestly, I really just like him with Ryu. They meld well together for me. I hope you like the chapter.

Used romance: Yes, Eiri is quite the bastard here, isn't he? I don't hate his character, on the contrary, sometimes I can be rather like him; isn't that a disturbing thought? But I'm far too nice to be Eiri. That's the point of fanfiction, isn't it, to change a plot line of a series to make it your own? So yes, he's rather antagonistic in this fanfiction. I hope you like this chapter as well.


	8. Crescendo in Harmony

Pocky and Promises

Chapter 8: Crescendo in Harmony

Disclaimer: If I owned Gravitation, Shuichi just might have ended up with Ryuichi, and as we all know the manga did not end that way, it is clear that I do not. Thank you.

Dedication: To my kind reviewers who have encouraged me each chapter, letting me know that they do in fact enjoy the "crack" that is Pocky and Promises, though I'd like to think it is not at all a crack story. It's good to know that as I blindly stumble through this tale of mayhem and monstrous amounts of fluff, laced with a dash of angst every so often, that someone else is trudging along behind me.

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"Ryu-chan," Shuichi called quietly, taking in the mid-afternoon rays of sunlight.

"Hai?" Ryuichi responded, puzzled, as his peppy little Shuichi had been rather reclusive as of late. He mentally shook his head. Shuichi was not his, and would likely never be, and he would do well to remember that.

"Do you have a pen?" came the arbitrary question, drawing Ryuichi out from the realms of his own mind.

Ryuichi blinked in rapid succession before shaking his head in the negative. Shuichi pouted, in that frightfully despondent manner that would be altogether annoying on any face but his, before Ryuichi reached into his pocket. "But Kuma-chan and I do have a very special crayon that you can borrow, na do na!" he sang out cheerily, waving said art supply in front of Shuichi.

The lead singer of Bad Luck looked decidedly distracted by the movement, so after testing a theory by wriggling the crayon to the right, then left, then up and down, and in a circle so quickly that Shuichi's head began to look as though it were a spinning top, Ryuichi concluded that his friend was a little _too_ enthralled, and wisely ceased those motions. He peered into Shuichi's eyes questioningly. "Is something the matter Shu-chan?" he asked with concern in his voice.

Shuichi had been rather entertained by the game and was sorry to see it end so soon; that, and he _was_ slightly hypnotized right at the moment, therefore, he jerked back in startled surprise to find Ryuichi so close to his face.

Ryuichi's beautiful face instantly welled up with the threat of tears. "Does Shuichi not want to use our special crayon?" he asked, lower lip on the verge of quivering uncontrollably.

Shuichi sprang into action, hugging his friend tightly. "No, that isn't it at all Ryu-chan. I was just caught off guard to see you right next to me, when the last time I'd looked, you were over there," he soothed, indicating the seat Ryuichi had previously been occupying.

The change in Ryuichi's features was something to behold. His sniffles dissolved, and a true smile appeared on his lips.

"I'm sorry for worrying you Shu-chan," he said, and nudged the other man's chin with the top of his head. "Sometimes I just over-analyze things."

Shuichi blanched at that statement, but hid it quickly for fear of bringing about the expression that should never mar the canvas of the gods.

"So, what were you planning to do Shuichi?" Ryuichi questioned, letting go of the arms he'd been holding onto for perhaps a mite longer than was appropriate.

The pink haired singer shivered at the loss of warmth that had little to do with the spring breeze cooling his skin unabashedly through the opened window.

"I had been running some possible songs through my head, and wanted to get them out on paper. But I won't waste your crayon on something as pathetic as my lyrics," he answered, twisting the edge of the rumpled sheet that surrounded his trim waist.

"I've never thought your lyrics were pathetic, Shuichi," Ryuichi admonished kindly, tapping Shuichi lightly on the nose.

"Really?" Shuichi asked in wonder.

"Really," Ryuichi confirmed, placing the object in Shuichi's hand, and was rewarded with a smile that Ryuichi thought could rival the stars with its intense brilliance. "Would you like me to leave you to your writing Shu-chan?" he inquired, and received his answer when he realized that Shuichi was already writing furiously on the pad of paper the hospital kept in every patient's room.

He smiled again at the tenacity Shuichi possessed in ways that most could only imagine obtaining, and generally then only after a veritable lifetime of attempting to do so. He didn't suppose he could completely understand how Shuichi could continue to stand and overcome all the crap that was thrown his way, and make something positive come from the ashes of those broken dreams. It seemed that those who blossom in the face of adversity really were the most rare and beautiful, after all. 'I really have it bad for him, don't I?' he asked himself, knowing full well that it was probably just as Hiroshi-kun had said, blatantly obvious to everyone but the other singer. He grimaced at his inability to hide anything that he was thinking or feeling. Then again, he mused, watching Shuichi work over the top of Kumagoro's head, the tip of a pink ear residing in his mouth, maybe Shuichi wouldn't like him so much if he were closed off to his own emotions, like a certain author Ryuichi did not care to name.

He observed silently for close to two hours, lost in an in depth conversation with his favorite bunny about the importance of ice cream when Shuichi's bout of revelation came to a lull. Curiosity piqued, Ryuichi bounced on the seat of his chair, wanting to see what words had come to his koohai at such a time.

"Can Ryu-chan see, _please_ Shuichi?" he asked with evident excitement, Kumagoro clutched tightly to his chest.

Shuichi blushed, and slowly nodded, handing the pieces of paper to him with a cautious expression. He always felt as though he revealed a part of his soul when he allowed anyone to read his lyrics, and that was something he'd always resented about Eiri's tendency to write them off as refuse, detestable refuse at that.

Ryuichi became absorbed in another world as he slipped into his serious mode. His eyes scanned the page, and this is what he read.

_Paradise Lost_

_**Shitsu Rakuen**_

By Shindou Shuichi of Bad Luck

_As the seconds tick by, I can feel the passage of time_

_**Dani o byou toshite, watashi ha toki no tatsu no o kanjiru**_

_Beating within my chest, in perfect key with my melancholy tears._

_**Watashi no mune no haku dou ni, watashi no yuuutsu ni ka**__**n**__**peki ni kii o, namida o nagashi ta**_

_The clock chimes your absence with a bitter, blatant scowl._

_**Tokei no kane no oto ni nigai keike**__**n**__** o shi te fuzai, rokotsu na kao o shikameru.**_

_It boasts to me in its metronomic rhythm,_

_**Watashi ha sono koto o jiman metoronoomu no you na rizumu,**_

_And reminds me of my failures with every waking hour._

_**To watashi no shippai o omoiokosa seru jikan goto ni oki te iru**_

_Time steals my sorrow, and laughs at my emotion._

_**Watashi no kanashimi to warai o sasou no ha jikan o nusun de jibun no kanjou**_

_The shards of my shattered soul litter the floor_

_**Watashi no tamashii no hahen gomi no yuka ni kudake chitta.**_

_But I lack the will or the strength to pick them up alone._

_**Shikashi, watashi no kyoudo ga fusoku shi te ha, mataha sorera o sentaku suru**__**dake desu.**_

_I couldn't see that I was hurting you, couldn't see that they were right._

_**Watashi ha jibun ga kizutsuke sanshou deki mase n deshi ta ga, deki mase n **__**deshi ta kenri o sanshou shi te i ta.**_

_I couldn't see how I hindered you, couldn't see the darkness for the light._

_**Watashi deki mase n deshi ta samatage o dono you ni watashi ha, kurayami o**__**sanshou shi te deki mase n deshi ta hikari**_

_Instead I chose to believe in us, to think that my love could conquer all._

_**Sono kawari ni, watashi o shinjite eran da toiawase ha, o kangaeru watashi no **__**ai ha subete o seifuku suru**_

_I walked blindly into the depths of hell, never knowing how long the fall._

_**Yamikumo ni arui te jigoku no fuka sa o, kesshite shitte dono kurai no aki ni**_

_Your beauty sheltered a demon from my blissful naïveté_

_**Akuma no utsukushi sa o hogo shi te kara no watashi no shiawase na muzai**_

_But then the hunger beckoned, and you hastened to obey. _

_**Tokoroga, sonogo, kuufuku o temaneki shi, isoi de anata ni shitagau**_

_I thought that I knew best, that I could save you from yourself,_

_**Saikou no watashi o shitte i ta to omotta ga, sore ga jibun yori nochi no tame ni**__**hozon suru**_

_But we were destined to fail because you were right all along._

_**Shikashi, watashi tachi ga shippai suru unmei ni aru subete no kenri no tame**__**ni sotte i ta.**_

_So now we're done and over, and I know this is the end._

_**Ijou okonawa re ta koto to, watashi tachi ha, ima sugu, to watashi ni ha wakaru**__**kore ha, shuuryou shi masu.**_

_And I heard it all before, from that fateful whisper in the wind._

_**To kii te subete no mae ni, sono unmei o kaze ni sasayaku**_

_It tried to tell me again and again, but I thought I knew the way._

_**Sore o oshie te nan do mo kurikaeshi te shiyo u to shi ta ga, watashi no michi o**__**shitte i ta to omotte i masu.**_

_I didn't listen until your love split my soul,_

_**Watashi ha anata no ai bunkatsu sa reru made iu koto o kika nai watashi no**__**tamashii**_

_And my blood painted your perfect hands._

_**To watashi no ketsueki tosou okyakusama ni pittari no te**_

_I couldn't see that I was hurting you, couldn't see that they were right._

_**Watashi ha jibun ga kizutsuke sanshou deki mase n deshi ta ga, deki mase n**__**deshi ta kenri o sanshou shi te i ta.**_

_I couldn't see how I hindered you, couldn't see the darkness for the light._

_**Watashi deki mase n deshi ta samatage o dono you ni watashi ha, kurayami o**__**sanshou shi te deki mase n deshi ta hikari**_

_Instead I chose to believe in us, to think that my love could conquer all._

_**Sono kawari ni, watashi o shinji te eran da toiawase ha, o kangaeru watashi no**__**ai ha subete o seifuku suru**_

_I walked blindly into the depths of hell, never knowing how long the fall._

_**Yamikumo ni arui te jigoku no fuka sa o, kesshite shitte dono kurai no aki ni**_

_Your beauty sheltered a demon from my blissful naïveté_

_**Akuma no utsukushi sa o hogo shi te kara no watashi no shiawase na muzai**_

_But then the hunger beckoned, and you hastened to obey. _

_**Tokoroga, sonogo, kuufuku o temaneki shi, isoi de anata ni shitagau**_

_So now I sit in agonized silence, alone with my fading memories,_

_**Kumon no chinmoku, ima sugu watashi ni suwaru, ni nin kiri de watashi no**__**feejingu no omoide**_

_Watching and waiting for your shadow to reappear._

_**Anata no kage o mi te, futatabi hyouji sa o matte.**_

_For though I know you can't and won't come back_

_**O shitte suru koto ha deki mase n to boku ha mada kaette**_

_I can still hold onto hope, until that leaves me too._

_**Watashi ha mada kibou o mochi tsuduke te, watashi mo sore made ha ha**_

_These tears of regret and frustration scar my face as they run._

_**Korera no ikan no i to yokkyuu fuman no namida o nagasu watashi no kao no**__**kizu ni jikkou shi masu.**_

_They burn like phoenix fire, and rage within the cage of my body._

_**Karera fenikkusu kasai yakedo no you na, to ikari no watashi no karada ni**__**suru tame ni kago.**_

_Oh what wouldn't I give to have your ice for veins;_

_**Aa watashi ha nai no koori o ataeru ni ha, joumyaku**_

_How keenly I feel the sword of love and of pain. _

_**Surudoku watashi no you ni ken o dono you ni ai to kanjiru itami no desu.**_

_I couldn't see that I was hurting you, couldn't see that they were right._

_**Watashi ha jibun ga kizutsuke sanshou deki mase n deshi ta ga, deki mase n**__**deshi ta kenri o sanshou shi te i ta.**_

_I couldn't see how I hindered you, couldn't see the darkness for the light._

_**Watashi deki mase n deshi ta samatage o dono you ni watashi ha, kurayami o**__**sanshou shi te deki mase n deshi ta hikari**_

_Instead I chose to believe in us, to think that my love could conquer all._

_**Sono kawari ni, watashi o shinji te eran da toiawase ha, o kangaeru watashi no**__**ai ha subete o seifuku suru**_

_I walked blindly into the depths of hell, never knowing how long the fall._

_**Yamikumo ni arui te jigoku no fuka sa o, kesshite shitte dono kurai no aki ni**_

_Your beauty sheltered a demon from my blissful naïveté_

_**Akuma no utsukushi sa o hogo shi te kara no watashi no shiawase na muzai**_

_But then the hunger beckoned, and you hastened to obey. _

_**Tokoroga, sonogo, kuufuku o temaneki shi, isoi de anata ni shitagau**_

_I'll hide my broken dreams behind an empty smile, determined in this wasted endeavor,_

_**Watashi ga watashi no buroo kun no yume o kakusu no haigo ni sora no egao ha, kono kettei sa muda na doryoku**_

_Because my heart just doesn't understand the loss of a lover that promised me forever. _

_**Watashi no kokoro no tame dake no sonshitsu o rikai shi te i nai koto o yakusoku suru mein eien no koibito**_

"This is a little darker than your normal style, Shuichi," Ryuichi said in review of the other singer's newest possible song, "but change is important to survival, and a different sound might be a good change for you. This isn't so drastic that no one will like it or know that it was Bad Luck, but it could very well give you the kind of depth that would rival Nittle Grasper. Your voice will give it the perfect tone, because the wrong person singing this would make it very dark and harsh, but not yours," he concluded with a smile. "Your voice will make it sad, and light, and beautiful; you will make people cry, and maybe some who thought you to be another passing phase, a mediocre bubblegum pop band, will have to think again. People will hear your song, Shu-chan, and they will hear your message. I can't wait to hear you sing."

Despite having been friends with the god of Japanese rock music for a while now, Shuichi blushed profusely under all of the praise. The sincere, open smile on Ryuichi's face drew a response in kind from the embarrassed but pleased singer, and Ryuichi thought it to be one of the cutest things he'd ever seen.

"Only if you sing it with me," Shuichi said softly, so quietly that Ryuichi wasn't sure that he had heard correctly, though if the insistent hammering of his heart was any indication, he had.

"Shu-chan wants to sing with Ryu-chan?" Ryuichi asked cautiously, attempting to contain his excitement at the idea of performing with Shuichi again, and failing quite miserably.

"Absolutely!" Shuichi exclaimed, and then spoke again more subtly, "If Ryu-chan wants to," he bit his lower lip, and kicked his feet in a picture that Ryuichi wished he could lock away under precious glass, preserved exactly in his mind. He was attempting to do just that, when Shuichi rested a hesitant hand on his shoulder.

"Ryu-chan?" he questioned in a voice scarcely above a whisper, "If you don't want to sing with me, that's fine, I just thought that it would make a nice duet. You could sing the English since you're much better at it than I am, and then I could follow with the Japanese, and then we could end it in unison, together," his tone hopeful and rejected at the same time.

"Iie, iie Shu-chan! I'd love to sing with you! I've been wanting to for a long time, don't you remember me saying that we should sing together again right after your debut concert? Silly Shu-chan, you really must have more faith and confidence in your music, your talents, and your friends. I was just thinking about how it might go, and what arrangements your Suguru-kun might come up with, and how Hiroshi-kun's guitar would play in." explained Ryuichi, while adding to himself, 'and I was wrapped up in how your face looked when you were writing, and the light that filled your entire body when you think about music. But I can't tell you how I feel, because most of you is still in love with Uesugi, Yuki Eiri.'

Shuichi's smile then, would forever be ingrained in Ryuichi's memories, and they quickly set to work, tweaking things here and there, thinking of places that Suguru's keyboard would be used, and others where Hiro's guitar would be perfect, and still others that would nearly be _a capella_, just the union of two souls and voices, blending together to create a masterpiece from a song made only of words on paper.

As they sat together, piecing things in their proper places, they laughed and joked how it took a catastrophe to get them to do their jobs properly. They quickly lost track of time as they immersed themselves in another dimension of notes and melodies. They wrote frantically with Ryuichi's crayon, scribbling barely legible kanji and hiragana on the notepad provided by the hospital. Ryuichi and Shuichi also made quick work of the box of pocky that Hiro had brought, nibbling on their respective pieces of candy, sucking with vigor as their muses filled them with inspiration.

At length, they came to the end of the pocky, and both reached for the last piece, and glared at one another. Ryuichi and Shuichi might be friends, but both also firmly believed in the sacredness of pocky.

"You're sick Shu-chan, so Ryu-chan should eat the last piece so you don't get a tummy ache," Ryuichi said helpfully, refusing to let go of his end of the stick.

"But you got the first piece too Ryu-chan, so it's only fair that I get the last one," whined Shuichi, turning sparkling eyes on the elder singer; he had puppy eyes and a killer pout, and he wasn't afraid to use them.

Ryuichi rolled his eyes in half-exasperation at Shuichi's insistence, and relinquished his hold on the pocky. "Fine Shu-chan, but I get the last piece next time, deal?" he said, acquiescing to Shuichi, this once, but then again, that pocky was _awfully_ tasty.

Before Shuichi could savor his victory and take a bite, he found himself facing Ryuichi, far too close for comfort. He blinked rapidly, as there was a Ryu-chan on the other end of his pocky, his lips closed around the sweet, and a challenge in his vibrant gaze. Shuichi gulped, and attempted a predatory growl to guard his property, but it came out a purr instead.

The proximity to the object of his affection, coupled with the energy of the music, and that sexy feline sound that vibrated from the back of that creamy throat, undid Ryuichi's self-control, and he pounced, although his growl was far more impressive. Shuichi squeaked, and fell backwards, Ryuichi sprawled atop of him. In an instant, Ryuichi's lips came skittering down onto Shuichi's, and he felt a little gasp come from the mouth currently beneath his before it started to respond.

With a groan borne of over a year's time of longing, infatuation, and desire, Ryuichi claimed Shuichi's mouth for as long as he dared, his tongue and teeth and lips branded him in his name, and his hand slid up to cup Shuichi's silky soft cheek, the other searching for his hand, interlacing their fingers. At length, he drew back a little, allowing the storm to subside to a gentle rubbing of lips on lips, and peered into clouded violet eyes to gauge the reaction to the onslaught Ryuichi had been preventing for as long as he was able. He saw a myriad of emotions, though none sang of rejection or repulsion, and for that he was extremely thankful.

He kissed Shuichi once more, before pulling away enough to rest their foreheads against one another, the once important piece of pocky now broken to infinitesimally tiny pieces between them.

"So Shu-chan, you're the reason why I woke up tasting like strawberries a few days ago. I knew you were sneaky," he teased, picking up a section of the crushed pocky, and offered it to Shuichi. "Pocky?" he asked mischievously.

For once in his life, Shuichi was blushing madly, and rendered completely speechless.

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Author's Note: Wow this took me both longer, and shorter than I expected. I have only ever written two songs in my life, so this chapter was very challenging for me. Yes, I wrote _Paradise Lost_ or _Shitsu Rakuen_ in Japanese, and then translated the entire thing from English to kanji, and then from kanji to romaji, which is the text seen within this chapter. That was hellaciously hard for me as not only did I have to write a song, which is definitely not my forte, but I also had to translate it to a foreign language, and I also had to attempt to write it in a style that would at least vaguely resemble Bad Luck. That was single-handedly the most difficult thing I have had to do for fanfiction, lol. But, I'd like to think that the finished product was worth it. Please bear in mind that this is the third song I've ever written, is the first song I've attempted to write for Gravitation and Bad Luck, and my first time translating such an enormous amount of text, and that I had to make two translations at that. So please forgive any mistakes, or if it sucks completely, I do apologize. Okay, end of rant, and onto reader responses.

RainaSukiMiyuki: You have no idea how happy it makes me to know that you enjoy my story so much. I was wary of approaching the fandom of yaoi and Gravitation, especially considering that I would be writing about a non-canon pairing, and an uncommon non-canon pairing at that. You and others have convinced me that you like it, and that you like the way I've written their characters, et cetera. Thank you.

Twice-as-evil-as-you-121212: I'm glad that you enjoyed the way I portrayed Eiri last chapter. He's tricky, as are all characters in Gravitation, honestly, and the fact that I've made him the bad guy here could very well have cost me an audience for this story. I'm glad that you were intrigued into the darker side of Eiri's soul, and that it made you appreciate things. Eiri is a very troubled soul, and perhaps someone later on will be able to help heal him of his many ghosts. He is a bit of an alcoholic, isn't he? And he definitely does possess some mental issues that will be dealt with later. Of course I responded to your review, I make it a point. I hope that despite the sugary sweetness in this chapter that you like it anyway. .

Sa-chan: Yes. Eiri has lost Tohma, which I thought would make a profound statement that Eiri had gone too far, and make a point to the entirety of Japan of his disownment so to speak. Yes, Eiri is a very broken soul, and he will eventually find his own salvation later. I'm glad that you also enjoy this so much, and I really hope you like this chapter too, as I put a hell of a lot of effort into it. Enjoy!

Used-romance: I also sympathize with Shuichi, obviously, and his character in this has been fun and also tricky to write, as all the bishonen boys of Gravitation are, alas that I had to choose such a domain. I hope you like this chapter too!

Kaoru Sayuri Kamiya: So, what does your username mean, by the way? Yes, in Pocky and Promises, Ryuichi is my choice for Shuichi's boyfriend. I hope you adapt to the fact that I include responses at the end of my chapters, and that you like this chapter.

Serenity Usagi Tenou: Thank you for your words of encouragement, and I appreciate it. I'm glad that you are in love with this story; it makes my efforts to write well worth it. Seguchi is tricky just like everyone else, but even he has a breaking point in my mind, and this was it. I realize that I focused on Shuichi and Ryuichi this chapter, but I just felt that it was the right thing to do. I hope everyone can agree with me on that. Enjoy!

DarakuTenshi101: Yes, Eiri has a very complex mind and personality, which I have attempted to explore and elaborate upon as I find the points in which to incorporate them. I hope you enjoy this chapter as well.

Rizay: Eiri is a difficult character for me to work with, but hopefully he'll turn out the way I want him. I will try to involve your suggestions, because I feel that they are very valid, and I appreciate your constructively critical comments. Yay alliteration! Thank you for your input and praise as well. I value your time and effort, and I hope you like this chapter too. I have a few more angst-ridden moments that will appear in my plot still, and I'll try to mix them in with everything else to keep up the tempo.

Chibi Fujiwara: Yes, I am indeed going somewhere with this, lol. I write however the words develop in my mind, and attempt to portray them as more than a jumble of nonsense. I love poetry and prose, and do enjoy putting elements of such into my stories. I hope that you enjoy this chapter, and do let me know your opinion of the song. It's my third ever, and my first where I've attempted to write in Shuichi's style as depicted by Maki-sama.


	9. Nukumori

Pocky and Promises

Chapter 9: Nukumori

Disclaimer: If I owned Gravitation, Shuichi would have left Eiri the moment he met Ryuichi and they would be together, because they're just too damn cute and sparkly.

Dedication: I would like to thank all my reviewers from the last chapter who gave me support and encouraged my attempt at writing a song from Shuichi's perspective. I was kind of intimidated by that prospect, and therefore, thank you everyone who was dedicated enough to give me the proverbial thumbs up. I love you guys bunches!

Japanese this chapter: Nukumori means warmth, and yakusoku means promise

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Shuichi was more confused than he'd ever been in his nineteen years of life. He and Eiri had just broken up, and here he had the beginnings of feelings of a similar nature for his friend Ryuichi. Said friend had also kissed him last night, and he had thoroughly enjoyed it. He felt angry with himself for letting that happen, but at the same time, he just wanted to do it again. He was officially screwed. Would Ryuichi expect a relationship? Would he even want to date him? Did he want to date Ryuichi? If he were honest with himself, he thought that it was a little too soon after his break up with Eiri, but at the same time, and he refused to let himself finish that thought, even in his head. He clamped down firmly on the rampant, drifting whirlpool of chaos that was supposedly his mind. He would not allow that final sanctuary to be sacrificed. An absurd number of questions raced through his baffled brain, and he didn't have answers to most of them. He did know, however, that some demons aren't just in nightmares, or waiting in closets or under stairs, and those were all the more frightening because of it. He clenched his slim fist, and set his jaw, rising from the bed. They had at long last removed the intravenous tubes that kept him tethered to the stiff sheets and rough blankets there, as today he would finally be released. And he had to face this particular demon now, while everyone else was gone or asleep.

He grimaced at the tenderness in his muscles, grateful for the lack of atrophy thanks to vigilant passive range of motion given to him by someone, Ryuichi perhaps, through the duration of his comatose state. He cautiously dressed, wanting to avoid injuring himself with carelessness, and placed his weight on unsteady legs as he neared the door of what had become a prison cell this past week. Shuichi sighed in resignation when he felt a gentle hand light upon his shoulder.

"Shuichi, where are you going?" Ryuichi asked, his voice leaden with sleep and confusion.

"To face a demon," he replied, turning to give his friend a hug, and did not miss the sharpening of Ryuichi's jewel like eyes at the implication in his statement.

"Do you want me to come with you?" the older man asked, cupping the side of Shuichi's silky cheek in his palm.

The smile on Shuichi's face filtered into his eyes, and a subtle blush crept over his youthful face as he kissed Ryuichi's hand softly, and told him no.

"As you wish, Shu-chan," Ryuichi said with a sigh of his own, and called to Shuichi's retreating back, "but I'll be there if you need me, okay?"

"Hai Ryu-chan," Shuichi replied, holding onto the handrail as he trudged down the hallway towards Eiri's room.

He gripped the handle of the door, the remaining barrier between himself and the man he'd loved. He winced at the realization, for he still loved Eiri, much as it pained him to acknowledge that. He was dead afraid of what awaited him behind that door, but bit his lower lip and entered nonetheless, unaware of the silent shadow that frowned nearby, waiting as a patient sentry should.

Ryuichi studied the ceiling, counting the tiles as he passed the time until Shuichi returned from the dragon's den. He tucked Kumagoro into his favored brown leather jacket for safekeeping. He reflected over the song Shuichi had written, editing it in his mind as he thought of additional ways that Shuichi's band mates could contribute to the beautiful lyrics. He grinned at the self-satisfaction that came from knowing that he had been the source of Shuichi's inspiration for so long, and even more so at the fact that the pink haired walking wet dream had finally progressed to achieving his own style rather than solely basing his songs on Ryuichi's alone. At the count of thirty-six, he was deeply absorbed in his own thoughts but reminded Kumagoro to let him know if Shuichi needed help, or was exiting the other hospital room. He was such a reliable bunny, that Kuma-chan.

Meanwhile, Shuichi had entered Eiri's room, and warily approached the bed where his former lover lay, eyes staring out the window, seemingly at nothing in particular before snapping around to face the intrusion, and they widened in disbelief upon falling upon Shuichi.

"Shuichi?" Eiri questioned, his jaw slightly agape, moving to sit upright as the other man slowly approached his bed.

"Indeed Eiri-san, it is I. I'll be released from the hospital today, and I wanted to speak with you one last time before I left," Shuichi said softly, perching upon the arm of the chair at the foot of the bed, keeping his eyes on his former lover all the while. "I wanted to tell you that I forgive you for whatever possessed you to do what you did to me, and to tell you that I'm sorry."

He was interrupted by Eiri's stunned outburst. "What on earth are you sorry for? I was the one who hurt you!" he exclaimed vehemently, fists clenched at his side, unable to look Shuichi directly in the eyes.

Shuichi smiled a little, and replied, "Well, Eiri-san, if I had just listened to what my friends, Seguchi-san, and my own heart were telling me, I would have left you ages ago. Our relationship had fallen into a terrible state, and we both would have been far better off if we had just spoken about that, and agreed to a mutual separation."

Eiri's lips twitched. "Since when have you become so mature, ne? You've always just laid your bleeding heart at my feet and cried yourself senseless until I took pity on you and kissed the tears away. Perhaps that was a source of our problems that we were both so blind to?" he sighed and ran a hand through his disheveled blonde hair before fixing an uneasy smile on his face.

Shuichi laughed nervously. "Isn't it pitiful that we only now refer to one another by our first names after we've broken up? I was so childish by forever calling you Yuki. That was unfair of me, and I apologize. I hurt you too, because I either reminded you of yourself before Kitazawa-san destroyed you, or the man himself before you lost all faith in him and yourself as well. I hurt you by forcing my love on you when it was not something you wanted." He bowed in Eiri's direction, and made to leave, but a cool hand closed upon his wrist, and tugged him back.

"If we're telling one another things that should have been said while we were together, Shuichi, I love you," Eiri whispered, finally meeting Shuichi's stunned violet gaze.

"Eiri?" he began in sheer, and total shock, but a fingertip rested against his lip in a plea for silence.

"I did, I really did love you, I still do as a matter of fact, not that it matters at the moment, and I know it's pointless to ask it of you now, but Shuichi, would you ever consider giving me a second chance, if I sought help for my problems? I can admit that now, to you at least. I saw a psychiatrist for years, but I never fully understood my own deeply rooted fears and trust issues, not to mention my irrationality and anger that could get so frighteningly out of line. This is hard for me to say, to expose myself like this, but if there's ever anyone who I know would listen to a murderer and a rapist, I know it is you Shuichi," Eiri finished with a tiny smile.

Fumbling for words, Shuichi sought to reply. "Eiri-san, I don't really know what to say. A part of me loves you still, that part of me probably always will, and if you were able to find some way to help yourself, I think that would be wonderful, but as for being with you again, I don't know. I would like to be able to trust you, and hearing you finally say I love you, which I never thought I would hear, makes my heart feel more at ease. Can you let me think about it please?"

Eiri tugged the smaller man to him, and embraced him tightly, breathing in the scent that belonged to Shuichi alone, and spoke softly in his ear, "Of course Shuichi. And I'll understand if you can't, but I miss you," he confessed, and smiled wickedly to himself. The first stage in his plan to get the brat back where he belonged was underway, and the rest would absolutely fall into place. After all, Eiri always got what he wanted.

As Shuichi began to pull away, Eiri caught his chin in his hand, and brushed his lips over the other's in a ghost of a kiss that left Shuichi with neither the baffled attraction he had once felt with Eiri that had threatened to consume him, or the metaphorical tsunami that overwhelmed the entirety of his senses from that time that he and Ryuichi had kissed. He groaned; now he had even more to think about.

Shuichi gave Eiri a tentative grin and informed him that he would not be returning to the apartment, but instead would be staying elsewhere for a length of time yet to be determined, to which Eiri nearly lost his recently gained iron-clad composure, but settled for nodding in agreement and closing his hand so much so that his nails bit into his palm and he neglected to care. He bid his ex boyfriend goodbye with a smile that did not reach his eyes, and returned to his twisted, dismal thoughts.

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Ryuichi started when Kumagoro poked his side and then realized that Shuichi had finished his conversation with the blonde author, judging by the footsteps that were headed for the doorway, and was his clue to scamper back to Shuichi's room before the other singer knew that he had been followed. His long legs carried him swiftly up the stairs, and he arrived ahead of Shuichi, casually tossing his favorite plush up in the air and catching him when his koohai entered, looking decidedly distraught and tired from his short stint through the corridors.

"You look drained Shu-chan. Do you want to talk about it?" Ryuichi asked in a low voice, taking Shuichi's arm and guiding him toward the cushioned red chair that Ryuichi normally occupied. He started at the expression that shadowed Shuichi's face. Damn it all, even hospitalized, that godforsaken Uesugi Eiri could dim Shuichi's sparkle. Matekou. He stifled a sigh, and instead smiled gently at his friend who looked like a reclusive doe that had found itself trapped by the scope of a hunter's rifle. He nudged Shuichi into his lap and wrapped his arms soothingly around the shaking shoulders, and let the younger man rest his head against the side of his neck.

It was soft there, Shuichi noted, Ryuichi's skin was soft, and warm, and comforting somehow. He couldn't really recall the last time someone other than Hiro had held him like this, and it made him lonely, wistful for a decent relationship with someone who could actually love him. A small whimper escaped him, and he nuzzled the side of Ryu-chan's neck, the touch of his lips feather-light across the skin there, and a distant part of his brain registered the shudder his actions had caused.

"He's still as cold as I remember," Shuichi whispered, now cheek to cheek with the man who treated him like he mattered, just for being Shuichi. "And I'm afraid that I'm getting cold too," he muttered, tightening his arms that had slipped around to Ryuichi's back to embrace him in return.

A year ago, Ryuichi would have immediately searched for blankets, or given Shuichi his jacket and Kumagoro, because he would not have learned that the entirety of his personality was not limited to the genki, chibi, five year old that was seen so often. He would never have seen the restrictions he placed on himself by remaining in that state unless on stage, he would not have realized his own potential and acknowledged his weaknesses. Now, he knew that he was certainly childish and immature, but that it was okay to be a grown up sometimes too. Because of Shuichi, he had come to understand the many facets that he was made of.

He allowed careful fingertips to peruse the landscape of Shuichi's face, tracing a pattern perhaps, or memorizing each detail for fear that he might not be allowed to be so close to the other man again. That fear transmitted directly through the unobtrusive path of the slender digits bedecked with six or seven rings, and Shuichi opened worried violet eyes.

"He asked me if I'd give him a second chance," Shuichi said without preamble, not moving from his position near Ryuichi's face, and seated, quite comfortably, on his lap. "Part of me wanted to leap for joy when he told me he loved me," he paused, watching Ryu-chan apprehensively, but the only indication that his friend had heard him, was the sudden gripping of the arm of the chair on Shuichi's left, and the barely contained rage that hid beneath his well schooled features.

"Go on," Ryuichi managed to say at last, now resting his forehead against Shuichi's, the hesitation with which the pink haired ball of trembling singer in his lap spoke gave him hope, slim, but hope all the same.

"But most of me just went cold, freezing cold at his words, like I'd never be warm again, and it started from here," he answered, a free hand clutched to his chest, where he could feel no heat at all. "It scared me, because something seemed so wrong about what he said to me, and I don't know what to make of it. I mean, of course I still love him, to a degree at any rate, but how could I trust him like that again? Especially not when my entire heart doesn't belong to him anymore," he finished with a faint blush splashed across the bridge of his nose and cheeks.

Ryuichi finally released the arm of the chair from his death grip, and regarded Shuichi curiously. "You're a very strange bunny, Shu-chan, you confuse poor Ryu-chan all the time, and I don't know exactly what you were alluding to with your last statement, but if it's a matter of warmth," here he shifted, drawing Shuichi's hand to first his lips where he barely brushed them across, and then to approximately where his heart lay under his clothes, and pressed it there firmly. "I'll always help you remember how to be warm. The frost you fear won't reach your heart Shuichi, yakusoku." He allowed his somber expression to give way to one of his smiles that had the power to dazzle millions, and for that moment, Shuichi forgot to be upset or to allow his darker thoughts to take over, but simply relaxed into Ryuichi's arms until it was time for him to leave the hell hole known as Tokyo General Hospital.

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Shuichi performed a small leap of joy as the fresh air whipped around him, tousling his lilac infused pink hair, teasing it into the most interesting shapes, and his violet eyes glittered once again, and that sight, as he danced in the twirling sakura blossom petals, breathless with the ecstasy of liberation, was one the most precious to Ryuichi. K had already taken the few belongings of Shuichi's that had been stationed at the hospital into the waiting beige sedan, so Ryu took a moment to savor the carefree, lazy grin that lit Shuichi's face. They were going to have to visit Uesugi-san's apartment to retrieve the remainder of Shuichi's considerable possessions, and Ryuichi was not looking forward to it at all. That place, could, and likely would, trigger a breakdown that he didn't want to see, living proof how Eiri-san had hurt Shuichi so much, so unforgivably. He frowned at such thoughts, only thankful that they would not be running into the author himself, for Ryuichi would not hesitate to deck him again.

However, his bad mood quickly dissipated in the face of Shuichi's infectious, musical laughter as he jogged to Ryuichi's side and took his hand, his smile a mile wide. Oh how he had missed seeing Shuichi's sparkle.

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At length, they reached Eiri's apartment complex, and Shuichi's anxiety was palpable as it reached alarming heights. Ryuichi exited the vehicle first; informing K that he'd be following Shuichi up and helping him pack and get his things down to the car. Now he faced Shuichi, and offered a hand, which said more than just the physical assistance he was willing to give, and understanding flashed through those violet eyes, before he too, stood outside of his former home, and repressed the panic he felt welling up beneath the surface. He took Ryuichi's hand after all as they strode up the stairs, Kumagoro in tow. His movement was surprisingly fluid as he inserted the key into the lock, and forced his twitching muscles to settle down as he entered the entry corridor.

Shuichi intentionally kept his gaze averted from the living room, and instead headed back to Eiri's bedroom where most of his clothes were still. He planned to grab a few boxes and pack as quickly as possible, but was interrupted by Ryuichi's friendly face peeking around the door.

"Is there something I can do to help Shu-chan?" Ryuichi asked, masking his concern at the pallor that haunted Shuichi's visage.

"Yeah, actually, I have a number of videos in the living room, near the television, would you mind packing those for me?" Shuichi replied, rummaging through the closet for an appropriately sized box to hand to Ryuichi. He sent his friend off with a box for the videos, and noted how sad it was that all of his possessions from his time living with Eiri could fit into his backpack, two boxes, and the extra for the tapes. He refused to take any of the countless pictures with him, instead leaving them for Eiri to keep or burn as he pleased.

Shuichi finally left the confines of the back bedroom, and returned to the central section of the apartment, and went to search for Ryuichi, when he found him standing stock-still in the living room, and noticed the box that was still only half-packed; he was about to mention something about that, when, where Ryuichi was, finally sunk in. The brunette stood not six inches away from where he had been attacked, and the terror engulfed him.

The next few moments, Shuichi felt as though he were underwater, attempting to reach the surface, and air, and as he watched, Ryuichi turned, seemingly in slow motion, to face him. Gods Shuichi wanted to run away, but his orange Converse sneakers wouldn't budge no matter how loudly he yelled at them inside of his head. He didn't want to see the look on Ryuichi's face, didn't want to see the pain in his eyes, or the disgust, not from Ryu-chan. So he closed his own eyes, his hands clamped down on one another in a painful grasp, and tried to will his mind away, anywhere else.

He was successful for a whole twenty seconds perhaps, before something warm and soft was draped over his shoulders, he noticed it smelled like Ryuichi, and a little of the pent up tension dissolved in his shoulders. Shuichi opened an eye tentatively, and was shocked enough to open both. Ryuichi was standing right in front of him, his hands opening and closing as though he wished to do something, but couldn't for whatever reason, and a trail of tears streaked its way down his perfect cheeks.

"Ryu-chan, why are you crying?" Shuichi asked in astonishment, after all, Ryuichi would have no way of knowing what had taken place where he stood.

Shimmering sapphire eyes met his own, and there was something swirling in those depths that Shuichi couldn't identify.

"This isn't the time, nor the place for that discussion, Shu-chan, but when you're ready, we can talk about it. I'm sorry for being so slow, and for crying out of the blue like this. Forgive me?" he questioned, running a hand that wasn't completely steady through his hair, and used the monotony of the motion, the pure mundane quality of it, to return to some semblance of normalcy.

Shuichi tilted his head to the side in an adorably baffled fashion, and blinked. "Ryu-chan, you never cease to amaze me."

Ryuichi had regained his composure, and the smirk that flitted across his lips was unnerving. "You have no idea Shu-chan," he winked, and changed the subject. "So where are you going to go now?" he asked as he arranged Shuichi's remaining videos, training his gaze away from the visible, albeit aged, bloodstains on the hardwood floor.

Shuichi worried his bottom lip between his teeth. "I think that Seguchi-san said that he'd put me in a hotel for a while, until they could decide what to do with me."

Ryuichi stopped in his efforts, and frowned his displeasure. "I don't like the sound of that at all. Shu-chan, why don't you come stay with Kumagoro and me? I'd never make you sleep on the couch," he finished softly, folding the top of the box closed before attempting to gauge Shuichi's response to his suggestion.

Shuichi's face was priceless. His mouth hung open, and his lips moved silently like a fish, his hands hanging loosely at his sides. Oh how Ryuichi wished he had a video camera at that moment.

"Are you serious?" Shuichi murmured in disbelief. "No one can put up with me for any real length of time, not even Hiro," he admitted quietly, lowering his head a touch.

"Of course I am Shuichi, why would I offer if I wasn't? Besides, I could never get sick of you, you're too cute," Ryuichi smiled, pressing an unexpected kiss to Shuichi's cheek. "Remember, no true friend ever 'puts up' with a friend, it's just a part of what they do. I know that you'd do the same thing for me, so of course I'll help you out." Ryuichi said, his easy smile comforting the other singer, as it was wont to do.

Shuichi looked up at him through his bangs, and nodded. "Arigatou Ryu-chan," he said, hugging his friend close, and briefly wondered whether he'd just made a deal with the devil, but if the devil looked like Sakuma Ryuichi, he supposed that he didn't mind too much.

Ryuichi squeezed him once more, before pulling back and grabbing the things Shuichi wished to take with him to carry down to the waiting car, and gave Shuichi a moment's privacy to cry as he pushed the key underneath the door once all had been extricated from the apartment.

It was a relatively silent ride to where Ryuichi lived, and K found this both a pleasant change, and highly, highly disturbing. He brought the sedan to a halt, parallel to the sidewalk, and gave Shuichi his best wishes for recovery, and that he'd see him at N-G soon, and with a few rounds fired into the air for good measure, without aiming for either, he took off, watching them in the rearview mirror until they were out of sight.

Ryuichi waved goodbye as K sped off, and then grabbed most of Shuichi's things as he headed back toward the building. Shuichi shrugged it off and shouldered his backpack as he followed Ryuichi closely. They waited in the elevator, and managed to strike up a conversation of idle chitchat and small talk until they reached the penthouse suite, the top floor of a twenty-story building.

While Ryuichi fumbled to retrieve the key from his pocket with overly full hands, he let the devil on his shoulder win as he asked," Ne, Shuichi, I can't get the key, could you grab it for me? It's just in my front left pocket," his voice was all innocence, but a twinkle of mischief darted into his eyes.

Shuichi turned a marvelous shade of crimson, and he muttered under his breath as he did as requested, locating the key there, but not before his nails teased the hell out of Ryuichi's thigh. He muffled a sigh, ah the price one pays for just a little bit of fun, he mused, stepping back to allow Shuichi to open the door, and came in directly after him, kicking the door shut with a foot as he freed his arms of their load. He decided to push his friend just once more tonight, then he'd leave his new roommate be, a wicked grin on his lips as he stepped behind him, encircling his waist with his arms before turning Shuichi to face him. He allowed a hand to course through the downy pink hair, tugging him a little closer, as that hand slid down his face, fingers hooked beneath the other's chin. He could feel Shuichi's erratic heartbeat against his chest, and skimmed his lips from Shuichi's forehead, to the tip of his nose, then to his cheeks, and finally settled on his mouth.

"I won't kiss you if you don't want me to, Shu-chan, but I just wanted to remind you that you're safe, I'll take care of you, and I care about you," he muttered in a voice that Shuichi wouldn't have been able to hear had he been any farther away.

Ryuichi got his answer when he suddenly found himself shoved backwards into the nearest wall, Shuichi's lips feverish against his. He gasped when teeth nibbled on his lower lip, and moaned quietly when a hand moved to cradle the back of his head so that he couldn't have gotten away had he wanted to. The next thing he knew, Shuichi's lips were dancing down his face, where they tortured his neck and ear, and he couldn't help it when his back arched beneath the onslaught of lips, teeth, and tongue against his jaw line, behind his ear, and to the lobe itself. He found himself whimpering when Shuichi finally drew back, watching him closely, and had to remember how to breathe properly at their proximity, not to mention the response Shuichi had had. He wasn't sure whether it was a warning, a test, or simply a release of the accumulated frustration and adrenaline repressed for so long, amplified by too many variables to count, and at the moment he couldn't bring himself to ask. Instead, he smiled, his cheeks likely flushed from the kiss that he had not been in control of, which had given him nothing short of vertigo, and honestly wiped any previous kisses from his memories.

Shuichi was still pressed up against him, and he could sense the trembling before it really began. Ryuichi bent slightly, just enough to scoop Shu-chan up into his arms where he carried him without protest into the guest bedroom nearest his own, and tucked the sheet and blankets in around him, massaging his shoulders and neck soothingly until his koohai fell fast asleep under his touch. He made a mental note to ask Shuichi about that roller coaster of a kiss tomorrow, but for tonight, he'd let the fallen angel sleep.

In the fleeting minutes before slumber stole his consciousness, Shuichi recalled how Ryuichi had reacted, and dozed off with that wonderful expression of desire etched onto his idol's face, put there by him and him alone. He may have been dropped one too many times, but he wasn't irreparably broken just yet. His goal had been firstly, to determine how Ryu would respond to a display that would have landed him directly in bed had he done such a thing to Eiri, secondly, to prove that he may be somewhat fragile for the time being, but that he was still capable of most things, including bringing Ryuichi to a gasping, twisting, bundle of nerves, and thirdly, it had been utter hell since he'd awoken from that coma, and sometimes, he needed to do something physical in order to escape from that pressure, that stress for a while. And then he felt skillful, tender, fingers working out the knots in his muscles; the way Ryuichi's kiss had lessened the storm of emotions and incredulous insanity from feeling far too much all at once. Shuichi shifted for a second to touch his lips to Ryuichi's fingertips before he let exhaustion win for the night.

The only unpacking Ryuichi did that evening, was to find the Kumagoro he had suggested Hiroshi-kun give to Shuichi, and placed the stuffed rabbit in Shuichi's arms. He was about to leave the room when he heard Shuichi mumble something in his sleep. He rested his back against the doorframe, and listened again, and smiled at the words, "so warm," that tumbled from sleeping lips. Ryuichi shut the door most of the way behind him as he found his way into his own room.

He peeled the green and white striped polo shirt over his head, and unbuckled his jeans as he let them fall past his hips, searching for a pair of pajama pants before remembering that he'd put his last clean pair on Shuichi before covering him up. Boxers it is then, he decided with a yawn, clambering into his bed and falling asleep almost instantaneously, thoughts of Shuichi; his secrets, his pain and the monsters that sought him even during the day, his kiss, and his sparkling smile painted his dreams.

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Author's Note: Gomen minna, for the wait in between. I had a lot of family stuff going on, and had an anime convention to get ready for, and go to. I actually cosplayed as Ryuichi for part of it, lol. And my inspiration finally came back to me, though I will be editing this chapter as I go, as per usual. I hope the length, and hopefully the quality, made up for the length of time. I love this story, I swear I do, but I'm always afraid to write when I'm pressed for time, or am not sure where I'm supposed to go next, because I might mess it up entirely.

Reader Responses:

DarakuTenshi101: I'm so thrilled that you enjoyed the song and the pocky moment so much. I just love those two! And thank you so much for saying that you thought it well written, I did try my best. I hope you forgive me for the delay, and that you enjoy this chapter too.

Sa-chan: Awww, well thank you! I love reviewers like you who are so sweet and encouraging. There will be more songs in the future, original again, so hopefully those will be as well received as "Paradise Lost." I'm sorry to have made you wait, and I hope you like this chapter.

Used-romance: Well, thank you, but I'm certainly no Ryuichi, even if I like to dress up in his costume and run around with a Kumagoro in hand. Thank you so much for your praises and your encouragement, I really appreciate it. I tried my best on writing the song, and I'm so happy that it seems to have gone over well. I'm happy to hear you're excited, and I love you too? I hope you like the chapter!

Chibi Fujiwara: Hello there. I'm glad that you liked the song as well. Yes, the bishonens finally kiss. I tried to make it cute, and look, they kiss again in this chapter! Just to warn you, that won't be happening all the time, because I didn't write a porn-with-a-plot story, so kissing and sex can't overrun the rest, but I do like to include it from time to time, more often when I'm feeling generous and it seems to fit with the chapter. I love making poor Shuichi all confused, aren't I terrible? I hope you like this chapter too. Oh, and I believe you were the reviewer who inquired about my native language, correct? English is my first language, and I'm pretty much bilingual in Spanish, I know some Japanese, and a little Sign Language.

Serenity Usagi-Tenou: I'm glad to see that you were so accepting of the last chapter, I also think it was endearing. I think I focused on Shu and Ryu this chapter as well, but at least there was interaction with Eiri as well. Angst, angst, angst, -insert giggle here.- I'm also happy that you liked the song. Please enjoy this chapter too!

Sarahfreak: Yes, making an enemy out of Tohma is always a bad idea, oh the things in store for Eiri, I cringe at the thought, and I'm the author! I swear, my Tohma has a mind of his own in this, and it's scary! I'm glad to know that despite the fact that you steer away from songfic type stories, et cetera, that you still liked Chapter 8. No songs this time, just angst, and fluff. Please enjoy!

RainaSukiMiyuki: Your reviews are always so peppy, thank you. I'm super glad that you liked it, and I'm happy that you thought the kiss was cute. I just had to include the pocky, why else would this story be "Pocky and Promises?" No pocky involved in this chapter, but it will have more scenes later, promise! I hope you like this chapter too.

Lances: Oh holy crap… I was scared to death to reply, because THE Lances reviewed my story, -insert nervous laughter here- and I feared sounding like an idiot. Hopefully I avoided that though? Thank you for your critiques, your honesty, and the praise. I have no urge to kill you, really. Challenging reviews make me work harder, so I greatly appreciate them. I want to write stories that wouldn't even be fanfiction if they had different names to the characters, I value quality highly, and I detest mediocrity, I can't stand that, so being pushed to do more, helps me a lot. Honestly, I don't like hospital stories much either, but after such an attack, I doubt that Shuichi could have had home care being in such a condition, so I was stuck at a hospital for a while. But he's out now, so no more hospitals, yay! I'm attempting to delve deeper into my characters' minds and souls, namely Shuichi and Ryuichi, and yes it's true, Shuichi's darker thoughts weren't really mentioned much before, so I need to work on that. I'm attempting to write a decent fanfiction, and comments, support, and constructive criticism like you provide, help me a lot. I like to be random, thus, the chapter ended with a kiss, but I think it worked all the same. And I did try to explore Shuichi's thoughts before he fell asleep, as well as showing more of Eiri's character, his dual nature, so it appears. Hopefully the nuances I included will let my readers know that he hasn't had a change of heart just yet, and to be honest, he will likely never be sane when it comes to Shuichi, not without a lot of mental help that he will get later on. Don't you pity his psychiatrist? I can't really tell you how honored I am to have you take the time to read and review my story, but I can tell you that I appreciate it so much, and I feel very privileged by your notice. Thank you so much, and I can't wait to hear what your thoughts are of this new chapter.

Randomly: Yes, there is most definitely angst in "Pocky and Promises," without angst, it's pretty much just fluff, and while I love fluff, especially Shuichi and Ryuichi fluff, it can get old without any changes in the plot. Stagnation leads to loss of interest, and the death of the story, which I most definitely don't want. However, you'll find plenty of fun stuff, crazy moments, sweet interaction, and hot fangirl service in here. I try to keep things mixed up like that. I'm evil? Okay, you're the reader and reviewer, so sure, though I'm not sure how I'm evil. Yes indeed, they did kiss, and wasn't it cute? They kiss again here, and it's still cute because of how it's handled, but there's some passion there this time too, though it's hard to say why, but Shuichi attempts to answer that before he falls asleep. He doesn't know it yet, but Ryu-chan will win his heart, and Eiri isn't done meddling, or fucking with Shuichi's head. He can be a real bastard when he wants something. Thank you for reviewing, and I hope you like this chapter too.

Lelalemon: Indeed, Ryu-chan kicked ass, quite impressively so if I do say so myself. It was fun to write him as Shuichi's knight in shining armor. No, no hurting the sparkly Shu-chan, that is punishable under penalty of cruel and unusual punishment from none other than Ryuichi, and personally, I'd rather not piss him off. I hope you like the chapter!

Rizay: It's always so much fun to read your reviews. Sometimes you're sarcastic, sometimes you're sweet, sometimes you're proverbially kicking my ass to write some more, but you're always entertaining. Kanji is killer, I agree. Translation was tricky, and I'll have more to do later on, but it's worth it if everyone likes later songs as much as they liked "Paradise Lost." Thank you for your continued support and encouragement, I appreciate it. And I apologize for the delay –bows to you and offers to sing 'Sleepless Beauty' in repayment-? Well thank you for finding the time to review, and I hope this chapter makes you happy.

Kureaa fallen angel: I'm glad that you like the way I write Ryu. He can be demanding to write, and most certainly a challenge from time to time because his personality changes constantly, which is part of the reason why I've worked with that some in this story. They will be, just not immediately. Shuichi's been through hell, and Ryuichi's patient, but never fear, there will be plenty of angst, random insanity, fluff, and fangirl service to tide you over until they finally make it official. I hope you like the chapter!


	10. Swimming in Secrets

Pocky and Promises

Chapter 10: Swimming in Secrets

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation, but I'm working on it. Just kidding!

Warning: Sexy boy on boy action this chapter, though likely not what you are expecting. You've been forewarned.

Dedication: To Lances, because she's just that awesome, and was kind enough to grace me with a review. And of course, I also dedicate this chapter to all those who have read, and reviewed "Pocky and Promises," because reviews make the world go 'round, mine at any rate. You guys are awesome and encourage me all the time and I can't thank you enough. I also dedicate this chapter to Rizay, because she gave me the boost to add yet more angst to this story. So after these next few chapters, when you're ready to kill me, she has to take some of the blame too.

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Shuichi finally awoke from the first decent night of non-medication induced sleep he'd had in ages. The gilded rays of sunlight played across his face, and he again was reminded of Ryuichi. He was rather beside himself with the way he had acted the previous night, but couldn't say that he regretted it in the slightest. He made to get up, but found it more of a challenge than he'd originally anticipated, as Ryuichi had practically wrapped him up as a Shuichi burrito with how tightly the blankets were tucked in. He allowed himself to laugh before wriggling like a jellyfish to get out of the cocoon.

He arched his back, stretching an arm above his head and the other draped across his stomach, enjoying the simple expansion and contraction of his lean muscles as the tension ebbed away. Shuichi's peaceful, quiet morning was destroyed in an instant as he suddenly found another occupant settled in bed next to him. He barely had time to blink before Ryuichi's smiling face was far too close to his. He ignored the anticipation pounding in his blood, and returned the gesture nonchalantly, and then pink overtook his vision. Ah, Kumagoro had come to play too.

"Come on Shuichi! Let's go on an adventure!" shouted his exuberant host, slim fingers encircling his wrist the way his hands had held his waist not so very long ago. Ryuichi didn't give Shuichi the chance to refuse as he bounded off.

"Anou," Shuichi muttered, thinking of a shower and breakfast before anything else, like most normal people at ungodly hours of the morning. He also thought they were far too old for adventures, as he was pretty sure the last he'd gone on, he'd been no older than twelve. Faced with a puzzled Ryuichi, he fumbled for words about food and hygiene, when Ryuichi sighed dejectedly and pointed Shuichi in the direction of the bathroom.

Well that hadn't gone as planned, Ryuichi thought, and shrugged it off quickly. If Shu-chan was going to get clean, then he might as well cook, or at least attempt to. There was a reason why Ryuichi was forbidden from entering Tohma's kitchen, but no one else needed to know about that. Determination lined his face, and he was confident that he could handle eggs and toast. However, when Shuichi emerged from the bathroom with steam trailing along behind him, and nothing on save for a towel slung low on his hips, Ryuichi's mouth went dry as cotton, and he accidentally bumped the dial, which went unnoticed as the mostly naked pink haired singer wandered innocently into his field of vision.

Shuichi sniffed the aroma, before his violet eyes widened in alarm, and he sprang for the stove, and Ryuichi incidentally. He quickly removed the skillet from the raging inferno Ryuichi had accidentally conjured, turning the knob off, and setting the pan onto a cool burner before rescuing the toast from its impending doom. He wiped a hand across his brow, and turned a vivid smile to his host.

"I think you just might be worse than me in the kitchen Ryu-chan," Shuichi laughed amiably, pulling down plates and searching for chopsticks, but only found forks. "You've gone all American on me Ryu-chan," he giggled, shoving roughly half of the eggs onto each plate, and tossing two pieces of toast haphazardly as well.

Shuichi ignored the fact that the toast was burnt into oblivion, and the fact that the eggs were scorched somewhat, and bits of the shell were mixed in with what was intended to be scrambled eggs, but when he bit into a section that was far too hot, he dropped the fork, eggs and all onto the floor, screaming,

"It burns! It burns like the fiery pits of Mordor!"

Ryuichi had also ignored how inedible his attempt at breakfast was, and had to admire Shuichi's tolerance, but lost all composure at that vehement exclamation. As he smothered his uncontrollable laughter, he managed to pass Shuichi some apple juice, which the other singer drained quickly, and had to ask,

"So Shu-chan, you've read 'The Lord of the Rings'?"

Shuichi opened his mouth to reply, creating a small puff of smoke as he did so, and looked sheepish, "Well, not exactly. I tried, but I got bored with it, so I just ended up watching the movies," he admitted, peering up at Ryuichi from beneath feathered bangs.

"Why am I not surprised?" Ryuichi teased, gathering another forkful of hopelessly overdone eggs.

"Mou," Shuichi complained good-naturedly, and would have done the same, had he not abandoned his fork to the mercy of Ryuichi's tile floor. "Seriously, where are the chopsticks?"

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After surviving what had likely been the most treacherous breakfast of his life, and borrowing clothes from Ryuichi, as he had yet to unpack his own, Shuichi found himself being dragged outside into the overly bright sunshine to what appeared to be a large park. Just as he was about to ask what "adventure," they were supposed to embark on, he felt Ryuichi touch his arm, and scamper away, shouting,

"Tag!" over his well-toned shoulder.

A competitive gleam crept across Shuichi's face. He was a champion at tag, being lightweight and quick on his feet when necessary. There was no way that he'd lose to Ryuichi. However, Shuichi quickly discovered just how endless his companion's energy could be. Two hours later, Shuichi was panting, his hands on his knees as he fought to regain his breath. Who knew that someone ten years his senior could play so hard? A blush stole across his cheeks as his mind ran amok and he shrugged off thoughts of Ryuichi in that manner. He may be attracted to the elder man, highly confused by that attraction, and enjoyed kissing him thoroughly, but he still loved Eiri, or so he told himself.

He was jolted out of his introspection by a splash of unnaturally cold water. Dripping, Shuichi didn't have to look far to find his assailant. Ryuichi giggled like a maniac, which, Shuichi supposed he was after a fashion, and just when the other man thought he'd get away, Ryuichi was encompassed in slippery arms that took him directly into the small pond, where they scared the wits out of the koi who inhabited it.

Gasping for air, they rose to the surface, laughing like children, and most probably breaking laws by swimming there in the first place, but neither particularly cared.

It was a weary Shuichi, and a mildly subdued Ryuichi who clambered out of the slick edges of the water some time later. The day was sufficiently warm that the breeze soothed rather than chilled, and the sun strong enough to dry their soaking wet clothes. An unplanned nap soon followed, and Shuichi subconsciously shifted closer to Ryuichi's side.

Ryuichi loved naps, they always left him a little groggy, but entirely happy all the same. All traces of sleep left him in a flash, however, when he opened leaden cobalt eyes, to find Shuichi watching him, that tempting lower lip currently trapped between his teeth, and cautious fingertips treading across his chest. His breath hitched, when the younger man set his jaw, and leaned down to claim Ryuichi's mouth, rubbing his sun-warmed lips against his in a soft, but promising kiss.

He gasped when those lips curved upwards into a wicked grin that looked altogether _wrong_ when overlain with an expression that screamed of innocence. Rational thought fled the country, presumably to have lunch with common sense somewhere far, far away, when Ryuichi felt that mouth affix itself to the side of his super sensitive neck, and sucked, hard, before biting down with exactly the right amount of pressure to bring his mind to a screeching halt, and all his remaining neurons focused on one thing, and one thing only.

"Take me Ryu," Shuichi purred into his ear while lazy fingers began to divest him of his shirt as blunt nails raked down his sides and hovered somewhere around the line of his hip before his lips soon followed, sucking and nipping at the hint of flesh quickly being revealed to his lustful gaze.

Ryuichi couldn't respond verbally, but merely grasped a hold of Shuichi's silky hair, moving his lower body towards the searching mouth, and neglected to recall the last time he'd moaned _that_ loudly, nor grown hard at such a simple act, but his body seemed to do all the thinking for him as he arched his back beneath Shuichi's ministrations, and yearned for more of that heated skin as he finally remembered to participate, and all but tore the fabric that had the gall to separate him from Shuichi's slender body.

An inquisitive hand slipped beneath his pants, skirting the waistband, past his belt that had become unfastened without his knowledge, and he nearly whimpered aloud when those tortuous fingers brushed against him. Ryuichi's eyes flashed in primal response, and he reversed their positions so quickly that Shuichi barely registered the significance of his rapidly disappearing clothing, until heated bare skin lay flush against his own. Violet eyes threatened to turn black as they latched onto Ryuichi's normally sapphire hues that had darkened to the clearest midnight he'd witnessed, and he'd never felt more open and vulnerable than right in that moment, but then Ryuichi did something that successfully snapped him out of his insecurities.

"Fuck!" Shuichi moaned, his erection suddenly engulfed in violently hot bliss, and he shuddered under Ryuichi's unrelenting gaze. His lips smiled around the tip, and when he spoke, the vibrations spread up Shuichi's spine, enveloping him in his first full body orgasm.

"If you insist," Ryuichi teased, his clothes could have melted for all Shuichi cared, and he gasped, before groaning deeply into Ryuichi's pierced ear as he laved the lobe with his tongue when he was entered swiftly with a lubricated finger, Shuichi didn't have to think too hard as to where that lubrication might have come from. His hips arced up sharply when a second was added, and they curled, just _there_, finding the place that eradicated all brain functions. Those questing fingers continued to ply him, relax the tauntingly tight muscles while making him writhe deliciously beneath Ryuichi, when a third breached him as well, and he wanted to scream when they pulled back. He wasn't to be kept waiting for long. Who could resist a pouting Shuichi after all? And those delectable lips parted on a silent sigh as a pleasantly warm length slowly replaced the skilled digits.

Ryuichi had intended to thrust away, full force, but with Shuichi gasping into his ear, and the raging heat that enveloped and threatened to overtake him, and the tightly ringed muscles that clamped around him, he feared to move. He gave himself a minute, or five, to adjust, but Shuichi took matters into his own hands, rocking his hips experimentally up against him, and he couldn't suppress the guttural groan that was torn out of his throat.

He had no choice now, but to finish what had been started, and grasped Shuichi's left leg, lifting it, and tilting his hips just so, rocking forward, and grinned like the proverbial cat who'd eaten the canary when Shuichi threw his head back with a distinctly feline mew, and rode him as though his life depended upon it. He congratulated himself when he had his younger lover panting like a dog in heat, and lost all self control as the long, low moan climbed from the other man's voice box, morphing into a sound that was without form or rhyme or reason, or actual words for that matter, but so sensual that it made his ears wish they had a penis, just so that they could climax with him. A final thrust, and he bent forward, continuing to relentlessly stroke Shuichi's prostate with each movement of his hips, then bit down hard at the juncture between the enticingly exposed neck and shoulder that begged for their homage due, shuddering like mad as those muscles clenched around him, and he chanted Shuichi's name in a mantra as he came harder than he ever had before.

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Pressure on Ryuichi's chest eventually caused him to open exhausted eyes, and he blinked in confusion as a fully clothed Shuichi leaned over him curiously, seemingly concerned.

"I was getting worried about you Ryu-chan, you were tossing and turning, and seemed to be talking in your sleep, though I couldn't understand most of it. Are you alright?" he asked, moving to touch the back of his hand to Ryuichi's forehead, when the brunette pulled away in alarm.

Ryuichi had a vexing problem that he didn't particularly care to let Shuichi in on right at the moment, so he squeaked something incoherent as he ran off into the trees to calm down, and pound his head against something to perhaps regain some of the dignity he'd dropped alongside the self-control and respect he'd been delusional to assume he still possessed. It had been a damn dream. Oh kami-sama he'd love to scream his anguish at the sky right now, but Shuichi would ask questions, or better yet to turn right around and make that dream a reality, but then Shuichi would _really_ ask questions. Therefore, he settled for the shortest masturbation session in history, no supplemental incentive was required for some strange reason.

Relieved, yet apprehensive all the same, Ryuichi returned and smiled reassuringly at Shuichi, helping him to his feet.

"That was strange," Shuichi wondered aloud.

Ryuichi ignored the blush that wished to steal across his cheeks, and instead began to lead them back to his apartment building.

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"I'm sorry if I made you over-exert yourself after being in that icky hospital for so long Shu-chan, I just thought it would be a good way to cheer you up and help you relax a little," Ryuichi offered in apology once they had made it back to the safety of his apartment, his head tilted in such a way that his densely layered bangs hid his eyes.

Shuichi shook his head. "You didn't push me too far or anything, I actually think it was a very sweet thing to do, even if it was earlier than I ever get up on my own," he giggled, speaking truthfully; for Ryuichi's actions had strongly reminded him of what Hiro might do when he took care of him if he were acting decidedly un-Shuichi-ish; if Hiro had been prone to such spontaneous moments lacking any forethought or deviation from the norm that is. Hiro had written the survival with Shuichi handbook, but it appeared that Ryuichi would be making some additions as well. He hadn't felt this at ease in so long, and he had only Ryuichi to thank for it. Poor Shuichi, his blissful respite from the world was about to come to an explosive end in the form of Uesugi Eiri.

Later on that evening, when Ryuichi had excused himself to the shower, leaving Shuichi to his own devices, as he lay mindlessly on his host's black micro suede overly stuffed couch, the phone rang. Mildly irritated as it was interrupting his channel surfing, he answered without thinking, without checking to see who might be calling, and nearly dropped the phone.

"Eiri!?" he exclaimed, throwing frantic glances in all directions, thoroughly flummoxed by this turn of events.

"You sound surprised to hear from me Shuichi," the low voice of the author slithered through the line, sounding quite amused, in a coil of emotion that constricted his throat and dimmed his mind.

Shuichi shuddered, damn that voice. "What can I do for you Eiri-san? And how did you get Ryu-chan's number anyway?" he asked, resuming his position on the cushions, continually watching for Ryuichi to appear out of nowhere. The guilt twisted in his stomach like a python, and left an acrid burn in the back of his throat. He hadn't even been here a full day, and already he was likely going to be hiding things from his friend. He felt so furtive and dirty in that instant.

The smirk in Eiri's tone was audible as he replied, "Oh there are a number of things you could do for me, Shuichi, but I'm afraid that most of them will have to wait. And as for the number, have you altogether forgotten who I have for a brother in law, not that I could blame you much. But for now, I'd settle for you agreeing to meet with me at such a time that I am released from the hospital, which should be within a few days, and without your guard dog," he added with a scowl.

This was so very wrong, but Shuichi couldn't bring himself to prevent it. "Why Eiri?" he muttered, his head dropping into his hands, the television programs quite forgotten.

Eiri gave pause before replying, so his little lover thought himself in a position to question his authority? Oh this was going to be even more delightful than he'd previously thought. His next words were chosen with the utmost of consideration and care.

"Well, the day I'm released is to be my first appointment with my psychiatrist where I was planning on finally explaining things to her, to talk as long as I need to, to be able to get her help with what's happened, to be honest with her, and more importantly, myself. And I wanted you there, for the support only you can give Shuichi, but if you can't I understand," his voice was smooth as silk, but he placed the inflection in just the right places, playing on Shuichi's sense of duty and empathy like a drum, turning the dials as though he were adjusting a radio. He knew his toy very well indeed, and he was supremely proud of himself for not choking over his flowery, pugnacious, and sickly words. He was putting up with quite enough from his insolent slut as it was, so he had better give him a hell of a show after all of this was said and done.

Eiri's quick thinking had paid off, because Shuichi was gritting his teeth in barely restrained agitation, but agreed all the same, and the guilt swam anew within him. He was going to have to outright lie to Ryuichi, and he returned the phone to its cradle, his lazy, complacent mood evaporated.

At that moment Ryuichi came striding into the living room clad in a pair of silken black pajama pants and a mostly unbuttoned cream colored shirt that looked to be made of some equally costly fabric that moved with the fluid grace of water and clung slightly to his still damp body. Shuichi's troubled gaze took in the sight, dimly aware that his host was obtusely rich, and that on another frame, even his nightwear could be intimidating, but Ryuichi was the exception it seemed.

Ryuichi's laughter at some unspoken joke died on his lips when he surveyed the train wreck that was his friend's expression.

"Shuichi?" he questioned in a low voice, taking a tentative seat next to him, and let gentle fingers brush the back of the clenched fist.

With the greatest effort it had ever cost him, Shuichi forced his lips into what could pass for a smile, and attempted to lie directly to Ryuichi's face, however, judging by the frown his idol now wore, he had failed with flying polka dots. He jumped when Ryuichi turned away and stood quickly, his own hands curled tightly to his sides, but his voice was soft when he spoke, and therefore all the more painful.

"Shuichi, if you can't tell me something, or don't want to, please just say so, but don't lie, not to me," was all Ryuichi could bring himself to say lest he lose his temper, and he retreated to his room, staring at his ceiling in muted concentration while lying on twisted sheets and blankets until exhaustion drew his eyes closed into restless slumber.

Shame was a tangible thing; alive and wrenching his veins open with its vise hold. Shuichi maintained his composure until Ryuichi had left him to his own devices, and then he all but ran to the guest room and buried his face in a pillow, screaming his frustration, anger, and every other emotion into it, desperate for a purging of those feelings that promised a slow death by asphyxiation if he should allow them to remain trapped.

Breathless and flushed, Shuichi's cheeks were hot to the touch, and he shoved the pillows away to lay the overheated skin on the cool sheets, searching for solace in the champagne colored linens scented with lilac. Right this moment he almost wished he were one of those strange Americans who hurt themselves intentionally, methodically, just so that he could have control over something, but he knew for a fact that he was too much of a pansy to ever do such a thing; plus leaving a mess like that for Ryuichi to clean up would make him a terrible house guest. No, there was no alternative for him, Shuichi simply had to deal with Eiri on his own.

"Fuck," he moaned aloud, entirely miserable again. Why did the gods see fit to make his life one big joke or endless confusion? "All I can say is, there'd better be one hell of a carrot at the end of this stick, because I seriously feel like an ass," he muttered petulantly as he drew the blankets tightly around him, hoping to feel just a little of Ryuichi's lingering warmth before he succumbed to the icy kisses of despair.

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A/N: First of all, as I was advised to include some jokes, I tried, although this particular chapter had its light moments, I'm warning you lovely people that Shu and Ryu aren't yet in the clear, because seriously, what kind of author would I be if there was only one conflict for them to overcome? And what kind of story would that be? Would you ever want to read anything else I wrote? I didn't think so. Secondly, guys I'm so incredibly sorry for the delayed update. My dad has been so sick and in and out of the hospital, so I haven't had much energy or motivation to write, so please forgive me. Hopefully he'll stabilize, and I'll do my best to ensure that it won't be so long again, my apologies dear readers. Oh, and I almost forgot to mention this, as the good news to tell you guys, there will be another song in a later chapter, and I'll have puddles of melted fangirls at my feet, because Shuichi is going to write, and sing it for Ryuichi. Hopefully that will keep you darlings from getting too rabid on me. And I imagine that Shuichi would prefer pocky dangling at the end of the stick as enticement, wouldn't you?

Reviewer Responses:

Sa-chan: Yes, Shu and Ryu do belong together, at least in this particular story, but I'm afraid they're not there yet. Have faith in me, and thank you for the encouragement, and I hope you enjoy this chapter, despite the angst.

Kureaa-fallen-angel: I'm glad that you like where I'm headed, though you might not be too pleased with this next bit, at least there's some interesting interaction earlier in the chapter to help I hope. Thank you for the review!

Randomly: Oh Shu will see the light, he has already, partially, but he's confused as hell. Poor thing, and thank you for that clarification. Angst is something I enjoy in doses, but I try not to include too much, otherwise it eventually makes the reader jumpy, but too little, and it's only fluff. Personally, I think that's one of the trickier aspects of writing, myself. Thank you for the support, and I hope you like the chapter.

Serenity Usagi Tenou: Your reviews never fail to make me smile, so thank you so much. I greatly enjoyed writing that part, because sometimes words just seem to fit together perfectly, and I'd like to think that those did. Sparkly, and added to your favorites list, well there is really no higher honor, is there? Thank you so much for the continual encouragement you've supplied for nine solid chapters, I appreciate it so much. I hope you enjoy this chapter as well.

Sarahfreak: A Yuki beating stick huh? Sounds kinky, but I think I'll leave that to you. Yes, Ryu and Shu are just adorable together, though perhaps the dream sequence adds a little edge to them as well? Thank you for becoming a repeat reviewer, and I hope you enjoy this chapter too.

Used-romance: Eiri can definitely be a bastard, and you see more of his manipulation here, but he isn't done interfering I'm afraid. He never learned how to let go after all. It's exceedingly kind of you to say I'm the best, though I don't necessarily feel it's warranted, but thank you so much all the same. I hope you enjoy this chapter.

DarakuTenshi101: Yes, Eiri does fit the villain bill doesn't he? Such a deviant, but I do love his hair. Thank you for the encouragement, and for being such a faithful reviewer through each chapter.

Chibi Fujiwara: Not a problem, I try to answer any questions thrown my way, unless of course it would give things away that I don't want to yet. I've seen arigatou spelled that way, or without the u, and with two o's instead, so I think the Japanese language is a little ambiguous with the romaji spellings perhaps. And no, Pocky and Promises is certainly no PWP story, though there is sexual content. I'd like to believe that when I include sex, that if it's taken as smut, that it's tasteful smut. I have no idea though, that's up to the reader's discretion. I hope you enjoy the chapter.

RemindsmeofaWestSideStory: Thank you so much. I'm very glad that you like Pocky and Promises, it's a pet project, as it's my first attempt at male slash fiction. I hope you enjoy this chapter too.

Rizay: Ah, Rizay, my tough love reviewer. And I smile as I say that, I promise. Yes, the edge did slip down a bit, but that's due in part to two things; one, I admit that I like writing fluff lol, and two, because it's about to get pretty angst-y in here. I understand what you meant, how that could have been the final chapter, but, I'm not done yet. I would not be satisfied leaving it where things were in chapter nine, there are so many things I feel are unresolved as of yet, and things that I haven't gotten to yet. And as for the lemon scene, well, you get a hint of one, I think it's decent for my first attempt, but I wrote it as a dream because I'm unsure of my ability to write such things, though it doesn't bother me at all, and because it's too soon for them, because I don't want their relationship to be only about sex. Though of course I could have done it differently, hopefully this satisfies the need for a lemon, without it actually being one just yet, lol. I hope I haven't put you off, and feel free to consider chapter nine the end, but it isn't quite yet. I think there are probably, pauses to think, four to five more chapters left, maybe six if I get really detailed. I've always appreciated your constructive criticism, and highly valued your praise. Thank you so much for reviewing so often, and I hope this also helps add some more tension.

L'uke chan: Too serious, yes, I suppose I can see what you mean. So I tried, in places, to lighten things up, and I also included that little phrase flub at the end, just for you. Thank you for reviewing, and I hope you enjoy this chapter, despite the hot boy sex that turns out to be in Ryuichi's sex starved brain, and the added drama.

Papyr Crayne: A Twix moment, is a phrase used when someone needs a moment to think of what to do next. If you've ever seen a Twix commercial, that might explain it better. Basically, when you've been caught either doing something you shouldn't, or don't know what to do, it's a moment to come up with what to do next. I'm glad you like the story and I hope you enjoy the chapter as well.

ToritheInvader: A crime against nature, well we can't be having that, now can we? I am deeply flattered, that you'd think so highly of my story to say what you've said, and to spend so much time reading it. Ryuichi sends you one of his amazing smiles, and a scribbled "shiny" drawing, and Shuichi offers you a piece of pocky for being so kind. They still seem to be acting as they should even when they're OOC, oh thank you so much, you have no idea how relieving that is to hear. Yes, I enjoy plot, and I intend to keep it that way as long as possible. Please enjoy the chapter, and thank you for your time and review.

Tora-Star: Cosplaying as Ryuichi is so much fun. I got glomped by an L from Death Note at my convention, and she was really hot. I'm glad that you like my writing style, I want my readers happy after all. I hope you like this chapter too.

Eiri and Kurama lover07: I'm glad to hear you like Pocky and Promises, and lookie here, I did update, although much later than I intended, but I couldn't do much about that.


	11. Dancing on the Strings of Morpheus

Pocky and Promises

Chapter 11: Dancing on the Strings of Morpheus

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation, though I am working on some yaoi drawings, very slowly, but working all the same.

Warning: Shady content this chapter, please don't kill me. I know how improbable it might seem, but it really isn't.

New Japanese this chapter: Gaki means brat.

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Pins, needles, and jagged shards of razor-thin glass raked through him, making every thought, every independent movement sheer agony. The tension between he and Ryuichi had reached an all time high. The day before had passed in an oppressive haze of apprehension, interrupted only by the arrival of the take away Ryuichi must have ordered. At least Ryu wasn't going to let him starve, but he hated that feeling, stress was never supposed to touch him here, and Shuichi was petrified that he was going to lose his friend, for good.

Shuichi glared at the ceiling in mute frustration. He had been so content with the thought of just relaxing with Ryu for a while before getting back to work finally, finding a routine that he could live with that didn't involve a certain author, but then Eiri had to wind him up all over again. His heart was just plain confused, unsure how to make sense of the downpour of enigmatic data that it was being forced to analyze at a rapid pace.

He somehow doubted that Ryuichi would make an appearance in his room this morning, that the other man would be going out of his way to seek his company at all for a while. Shuichi had committed one of the cardinal sins in the book of Ryuichi; he had lied. Ryu would forgive him eventually, and certainly wouldn't treat him badly in the meantime, but the concealed accusation would be hidden beneath one of his stage smiles, and that was unbearable. It was a bit like being on house arrest with an extremely attractive warden whose face detracted your attention from the bullwhip behind his back. And the mental image of Ryuichi with a whip was one his libido did not need.

Shaking his mind back to more important, though less pleasant topics, Shuichi felt the highly unnatural craving to hurt himself like those crazy Americans, and that alone was enough to make him realize that he had to sort whatever the hell this was out with Eiri immediately, and then apologize to his host, profusely. His agitation and anger with not only his ex lover, but with himself was creating a fissure through the fragile threads that were his tie to sanity, and he really only had himself to blame. He easily could have told Eiri to deal with his plethora of issues alone, or just have told Ryuichi what had happened during that phone call, but it just felt like something he had to absolve himself of alone. He had to purge Eiri from his system, and until he'd managed that, he had no business considering anything to do with Ryuichi, as unsettling as that thought was.

"Damn you Eiri," he muttered into his pillow, punching it for good measure, as though assaulting bedroom furniture could somehow assist him. His hand was merely grateful that it had not been a decidedly more solid brick wall. Those had the pesky habit of hitting back, hard. It was going to be a challenging couple of days, and Kami-sama help him if it extended beyond that. Ryuichi had done nothing but think of him, and take care of him, and how was he repaying that selfless man? Shuichi groaned into the soft, pink fur of Kumagoro carefully tucked into the crook of his elbow. He had clearly dated Eiri too long if he could be such a bastard to someone like that.

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Shuichi had evidently underestimated Ryuichi's manners, for his host's behavior was very much the same. At nine o' clock, Ryu had knocked on his door and asked for his assistance on a "project." Expecting to encounter score sheets and lyrics, Shuichi was supremely stunned to witness the mayhem currently using Ryuichi's usually stylish living room as its headquarters. Some days Shuichi really wondered where his friend got his ideas, and his imagination. They were apparently to erect a tent, in the middle of the living room, in broad daylight. When Shuichi had been ludicrous enough to ask why, Ryuichi had kindly explained with the sort of tone one might use with a small child who wanted to know why the sky was blue.

"Because, my silly Shu-chan, where _else_ could we have a sleepover, tell stories with flashlights, and watch the stars?"

When Shuichi had logically pointed out that it was daytime, therefore they didn't need flashlights, and they were inside, so they couldn't see the stars anyway, and since he was already staying with Ryuichi, wasn't every night a sleepover, Ryuichi and Kumagoro exchanged pitying looks, and his friend muttered,

"This is for your own good Shuichi," before he found himself on the business end of a Kumagoro Beam.

Ryuichi patiently waited for his dazed koohai to recover, and handed him a cool bottle of juice once violet eyes opened.

Checking his sanity at the door, perhaps to be picked up later, and perhaps not, Shuichi drank deeply, and tasted strawberry-kiwi.

"So Ryu-chan, where do you want me to start?" he asked with a bright grin.

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Hiro and Suguru had decided to visit their favorite neighborhood lunatics and were chatting amicably as they waited for the elevator to bring them to Ryuichi's floor. They stepped out, and were poised to knock on the door, but peculiar noises coming from inside stopped them in their tracks. Nervously, they made an unspoken, unanimous agreement, and pressed inquiring ears to the door.

"Harder, Ryu!" shouted Shuichi, his voice a mite strained.

"I'm trying Shuichi," Ryuichi whined, "but it's just too tight!"

"I don't think so, _that_ is just too big," was the joking reply.

"Okay, okay, let's stop arguing, and just try another time. Why don't you tilt that way, yeah, right there, and I'll use a different angle. Come on, push Shu-chan, I can't do this alone, you know."

"I am pushing! What kind of a man are you Ryuichi? Put some muscle into it-"

Thud.

"Oh my god, not so fast! You could have really hurt me!"

"You're fine, you silly drama queen, get back into that position. I think it was much better."

Shuichi's huff of indignation was somewhat muffled by some unknown object.

"What gives you the right to order me around like some kind of slave? How can you-"

Ryuichi's voice dropped an octave as he interrupted, and had entered the hazardous realm of "mind-fuck" seduction.

"Of course I can command authority when I want. _Everything_ bows to my will. I'll make it fit, because I am Sakuma Ryuichi, resident god of sex to my fans."

Hiro and Suguru wore expressions of equal parts scandalized curiosity and interest, but couldn't seem to pull their ears away just yet, though Suguru had turned a most impressive shade of magenta.

"There, just a little twist, and," Ryuichi's words trailed off into a low groan.

"Oh, yes," Shuichi panted softly, "but Ryu, I can't hold on, I'm going to-"

And inside of Ryuichi's apartment, there was a crash of epic proportions, a crash so disastrous that "crash," was really far too subtle for the catastrophic events taking place. During said crash, Hiro and Suguru proceeded to fall through the unlocked door.

"My virgin eyes!" Suguru screamed into Hiro's shoulder, clutching the guitarist with considerable strength.

Hiro gathered his courage and opened his eyes, locating his best friend from his position under Sakuma-san, where they were lying in an impossibly tangled heap with what once might have been a canvas tent.

Ryuichi's head was spinning, and he used an elbow to relieve the captive Shuichi of some of his weight. The younger singer took one look at his shell-shocked band mates, and began to laugh so ardently that he was crying. Ryuichi sighed and lowered his head onto Shuichi's shaking shoulder. Well this was all sorts of awkward.

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Ryuichi and the still giggling Shuichi collected themselves while Hiro dared to venture into the kitchen to make some tea to calm everyone's nerves, namely Suguru who kept twitching, and jumped at small noises. Borrowing Ryuichi's arm to right himself, Shuichi smothered the last of his laughter, and faced their guests.

"So you heard us putting up the tent, and you thought," Shuichi's sentence drifted off silently, then followed the path of the afternoon breeze through the barely opened window.

The subsequent chatter and good-natured jesting that filled the room was warm and welcome, if the ambiance was incredulous in nature. As the strangeness of the situation ebbed away, Suguru mumbled something, which had the miraculous ability to send Shuichi into a fit of indignation, and Hiro and Ryuichi found themselves privy to a rather spectacular display while their friends rolled around on the floor.

"You're such a pervert Suguru!," Shuichi snipped, diving back into the fray, "Listening in on what you thought to be a _very_ private moment between Ryu-chan and me! And you have the nerve to call _me_ delusional and melodramatic!"

Hiro and Ryuichi were congratulating themselves on not having suffered fractured ribs from restraining their mirth when the impromptu fight came to an abrupt end due to Shuichi successfully pinning Suguru and counting to ten. While Shuichi performed his victory dance on Ryuichi's coffee table, Suguru smiled. Finally, he'd seen that crazy, hysterical, juvenile attitude that he outwardly chastised and complained over, but privately appreciated, sometimes, in small doses. It relieved the stress when Shuichi had one of his colossal emotional melt downs during the middle of a song recording, or started sobbing enthusiastically at Seguchi Tohma's feet. That had been a most memorable event to be sure.

Ryuichi witnessed the insanity overtaking what had been his distract-the-Shuichi project, and dissolved into a fit of giggles that forced said Shuichi to begin ushering Hiro and Suguru out the door so that he could mind Ryu.

His glare was accusatory.

"And I do hope you realize that I stand no chance whatsoever of calming him down without drastic measures. Honestly, you two have no idea what it's like to live with him! He has more energy than I do! You owe me lots and lots of pocky," he grinned, "but thank you for coming over," he finished on a softer note, shutting the door on his properly contrite band mates who shuddered to think of what lay in wait for Shuichi as he went to peek in on his friend.

Shuichi knocked lightly before entering Ryuichi's bedroom for the first time, slightly worried when the brunette wasn't lying on the deep marine blue comforter as he'd expected. He didn't have long to wait, for an impish voice beckoned from behind him, and he'd yet to turn around before a Ryuichi-missile launched him into the center of the bed, which, Shuichi supposed, would be fantastically comfortable were he not contorted into a many-sided pretzel.

"Let's wrestle Shu-chan!" Ryuichi suggested, wriggling his eyebrows for effect, and grinned when violet eyes rolled in his general direction. "Yeah, Shu-chan's going to play with us, Kumagoro," he all but squealed, and looked confused when Shuichi shook his head and gently placed the pink bunny on the nightstand.

"Sorry, but sometimes I play a bit rough, and we wouldn't want Kuma-chan getting hurt would we?" he asked sensibly, and quirked a smile at the nod from the other man. "Let's play Ryu," Shuichi said with a laugh, and Kami be damned if the sound, the timbre, the _idea_ didn't cause Ryuichi's groin to sit up and pay attention. However, he had asked for it, and if Shuichi noticed his interest, he supposed it wouldn't be the end of the world. Twin competitive smirks stole across their faces as they prepared to leap; Ryuichi couldn't wait to play this game, and if that made him some kind of deviant, then so be it.

Shuichi bided his time, seemingly allowing Ryuichi the opportunity to get the first hold on him, and he silently knelt at the altars of every deity he'd ever heard of for the chance to have his hands on the tempting body of his friend, and to have those hands on him in return. And as half the world considered him a god, Shuichi included at one point, Ryuichi considered the odds in his favor. In a flurry of limbs, Ryuichi managed to trap Shuichi beneath him, and proceeded to tease him about how quickly he'd lost, but then slender hips shifted beneath him, and rocked just so, and Ryuichi hadn't factored _that_ into his equation. Nor had he expected the tiny gasp that slipped past the supple lips just out of his reach, and the pressure caused by gentle fingers tracing the veins of the insides of his wrists caught him off guard. And when Shuichi turned his head to let his tongue do the same, Ryuichi was made aware of a new erogenous zone. Owing to the need to let his eyes roll to the back of his head, Ryuichi missed the lazy bow of Shuichi's lips into a leering grin. Ryuichi did not, however, miss the fact that he had somehow ended up being the one now on his back, looking up to find a knowing Shuichi above him.

"You cheated Shu-chan," Ryuichi pouted playfully, though he didn't mind in the least, even if he wished that it had lasted a while longer.

Shuichi was the picture of innocence, although Ryuichi certainly knew better when he replied cheekily, "It's only cheating if you get caught, but if it stings your pride, then by all means, shall we have another round?"

It appeared that sometimes your wishes were granted. Ryuichi concentrated hard on thinking of Shuichi suddenly deciding to lean over and kiss him, and received a questioning gaze instead. Alas, this time he was to be denied, but as he eyed Shuichi speculatively, he reasoned that he could settle for a re-match that he'd throw accidentally-on-purpose, just to feel those hands moving against him in this innocent way. Then Shuichi had successfully trapped him once more, and he felt a whisper soft brush of lips over his cheek, and was satisfied that his wish had come true after all, even if not quite how he had envisioned it. He sighed dreamily, if only people would start giving away free ice cream, then he'd be set, but then Shuichi's merciless fingers began tickling him, and he quickly forgot all about anything outside of those four walls.

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Shuichi jumped when his back pocket vibrated, and as Ryuichi had left to go work with Seguchi-san and Noriko-san, he very much doubted that he was the culprit, and therefore only a handful of possibilities remained. He sincerely hoped that it was Hiro, however, it was not to be.

"Moshi moshi?" Shuichi answered quietly, fairly certain that his formerly infallible "Yuki" sense was not malfunctioning.

And he was correct, for it was Eiri's voice that coursed though the line to curl around Shuichi's ear like the wisps of smoke that the blonde exhaled as breath.

"Hello baka, I've missed you," his manner soft, "my appointment is this afternoon at 3:30, will I be able to pick you up then?"

This hardly sounded like the man he'd dated, yet it had to be, but the way he was speaking instantly made him ill at ease.

"Alright Eiri-san, where shall I meet you? I don't think Ryuichi would appreciate it if I allowed you up here. The two of you don't exactly get along as you're well aware I'm sure."

Oh, Eiri knew, assuredly. He had to physically unclench his fists at the mention of that name that was poison on his tongue, his want-to-be rival for Shuichi's affections, that child in a man's body. It took considerable effort to maintain the light and easy quality in his speech, and he praised himself for his passable acting abilities, though he doubted that the blithely naïve brat would recognize pure manipulative genius if it fucked him up the ass sideways.

"Yes, well, as he is your roommate and all, I suppose it would be most unpleasant for you if he were upset. Would it be acceptable for me to fetch you from across the street?"

Shuichi paused, but could see no fault in the plan aside from the glaringly obvious one that it was pointless in the first place, that someone like his ex lover could never change, but there was nothing for it at this point. He agreed unenthusiastically, and if Eiri noticed, he didn't mention it. Shuichi's good mood vaporized like shadows under the midday sun as he rose to contemplate a shower and perhaps a quick nap before his dance with the devil.

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Shuichi fidgeted, vastly uneasy with all these furtive doings, thank Kami he'd never been a spy or some other such ambiguous vocation. He scuffed the toe of the black Converse sneaker harshly, where it squealed against the pavement, and ran a hand through his increasingly disheveled, lurid pink hair. He shoved his hands into the tight pockets of the dark wash jeans that hugged his legs flirtatiously. Annoyed with the way of things, his lips settled into a pout, and the breeze stirred the tail of the striped scarf that kept the worst of the cold away from his neck. Spring was a fickle thing in Tokyo; it lulled you into a false sense of security, before blasting you with a heavy dose of frigid, icy wind.

However, it was fitting that it was one of the coldest days of the season, as he was meeting the coldest of men; Eiri's touch had even been chilled when he felt amorous enough to take him to bed. Any glimpses of heat were passing and few, more lie than truth, and entirely dependent upon whatever mood might have struck him. Yes, his "Yuki" had been still and impenetrable, frozen like his namesake, omnipotent arms that bound his potential saviors completely as he threatened to devour you if you tried to return him to the surface. He was a dying man beneath the layers of lackluster kisses, and the only thing he knew was how to pull you under too.

The engine's roar drew him from quiet recollections and analysis, and he asphyxiated the panicked response under the charade of zipping the gunmetal grey hooded jacket he wore, shielding his slender chest otherwise only protected by a white long sleeved tee shirt and quilted black vest. He really should have dressed warmer, he mused, as he crossed the street to approach the foreign Mercedes Eiri was supremely fond of. He dimly wondered how his former lover might have turned out had he not studied in America, and perhaps joined a racing circuit in conjunction with his first love, writing.

"Are you dating your therapist?" he asked civilly, noting the lush bouquet of flowers that rested in the backseat.

Eiri's eyes widened marginally, and a small smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he chuckled softly. "Not exactly. They're for you, gaki."

"Eh, but why Eiri-san?" Shuichi questioned with an adorably quizzical expression.

"To thank you," he replied simply, and though there was no reprimand in his voice, Shuichi knew the topic to be closed.

Changing lanes, Eiri's gaze perused the other's form with painful remembrance of exactly how it felt to have those arms wrapped around his neck, those legs twined with his, or that body beneath him, begging for it faster and in abundance. He could also clearly recall the way Shuichi looked when he smiled, and how sweetly his lips tasted upon his own. And he'd never tell a soul, but although the kid couldn't write lyrics to save his life, his voice was that of a seraph, the highest choir of angels. As he came to a stoplight, Eiri was struck with the realization that he _missed_ the unpredictably emotional mass of live high voltage wires that was Shuichi. A small part of his brain wondered if it was possible that what he going to do shortly following the appointment with his psychiatrist was wrong, but it was a touch too late.

They pulled up into the parking lot, and Eiri led the way into the imposing building, Shuichi following closely behind. It reminded him too much of the hospital, and those weren't memories that Shuichi felt like re-living any time this millennia. He kept his mind on Eiri for distraction, and barely noticed they had stopped walking until he heard the doors of the elevator close. He almost screamed when a hand tapped his shoulder, and chided himself for being so jumpy.

"Welcome back from wherever it is that dreamers go to dream their worlds of fantasy. It isn't like you to be so quiet Shuichi," Eiri noted, the intrusive appendage now stroking his cheek in a gesture that he had cause to remember. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, Eiri was going to kiss him. Oh how did he manage to land himself in such situations?

Violet eyes glanced around in every direction but straight ahead, and he could feel the other man's breath sweep across his cheek in that instant before he'd take the plunge into treacherous terrain. He couldn't stop the groan that spiraled up the back of his throat when deadly sensuous lips descended on his, nor the movement of his hips when Eiri's hands settled on him, pulling him far too close. Uesugi Eiri was as dangerous as he was beautiful, but just then, Shuichi didn't care. He saw only his former lover; a man quick to anger, but never frightening to be sure, passionate, even if detached at times, but oh so very skilled. Evidently his attraction to the man had not waned as much as he had thought, though he could hardly be blamed. Sin was first aroused by covetous temptation, and was there any temptation as powerful and gorgeous as Eiri?

But then the elevator chimed their destination, and the blonde pulled back grudgingly, and Shuichi's head cleared, and he was furious. Eiri reached out to touch him, soothe the hard, angry look to his face, and was nearly bitten for his troubles. Unabashed, he merely took Shuichi by the hand and walked the well-traveled path to his therapist's office. Shuichi snatched his hand back, and sank into a chair, his back presented to Eiri when he sat next to him.

"You're causing a scene Shuichi, which is far more conspicuous than just letting me hold your hand," Eiri muttered above the top of the culture magazine he appeared to be reading.

"I came here for support, or some other such bullshit reason, not to pretend to be your boyfriend, Uesugi-san," was the snarled reply.

Eiri's eyebrows rose, both at the attitude, and the usage of his surname. He would have questioned Shuichi about it, but his name was called, and it was for the better anyhow. When things came to a head, he didn't want any witnesses.

In the exam room, Eiri introduced Shuichi as his lover, much to the latter's fury, but it was smoothed over when Eiri sat back, again took Shuichi's hand, despite his not so subtle attempts to avoid it, and began to tell his therapist things that he should have spoken about years and years before. The painful grip on his fingers lessened as Eiri continued talking, but Shuichi couldn't find the heart to pull away. It hurt him to hear Eiri's pain from so long ago that haunted him still, and he was exceedingly proud of himself for reining in his multitude of emotions ranging from fuming anger, to pity, to abject terror at some of the things Eiri discussed.

Before the woman whose name Shuichi hadn't even bothered to notice could ask awkward questions about their "relationship," time was up. Shuichi could have done a happy dance of relief, finally he could leave, go back to Ryuichi's apartment and write and catch up on his neglected work, maybe, and try to forget this afternoon had ever happened, but as they stood silently in the elevator on the way back to the main level, gooseflesh prickled across his skin, and he suddenly thought that walking back would be a splendid idea.

His pulse was hammering in his ears when Eiri reached into his jacket to remove something, he couldn't tell what, only that it shortly found its way into the blonde's mouth, and Eiri turned to face him, opening the door in invitation. His exasperation with the other man had not yet abated, and evidently the tension was visible, for Eiri commented on the rigidity of his stature.

"Well, do you think that was easy or pleasant for me?" Shuichi snapped, still on edge.

"What do you mean Shu-chan?" Eiri wondered, the keys currently in the ignition, but he had not started the car.

Shuichi cataclysmically exploded at the insolence he was forced to suffer at Eiri's hands.

"What do you mean, what do I mean!? Eiri you were everything to me! You were my boyfriend, my koibito, though I don't know if you're capable of loving anything aside from your books, and even those you disregard because they aren't what you truly want to be writing, but since you're established as a romance author, that's likely what you'll stay, but you don't know anything about relationships or how to treat the person you're with! You're bitter and I can't fault you for that, really, I can't. But you never gave a damn about me. You never have and you never will. Maybe you tried, I don't know, I'll never know, because I can't take being with you like this. It's too fucking raw, too much for me. To have you talk like that, to see a shadow reminiscent of the lover you could have been to me, it rips at me until I'm aching and throbbing like an exposed nerve. Do you understand that!? Do you have any idea how it feels for me? Do you? I loved you more than I should have been able to; you were everything Eiri, _everything_." Shuichi didn't realize that he'd been shaking until Eiri's black blazer was placed about his shoulders, nor that he'd been crying until he was presented with a monogrammed handkerchief. Eiri had never leant him so much as his handkerchief before, it had always been too personal, and a fresh wave of tears swam at the edges of his vision.

He felt the pull into arms that weren't as steady as they could have been, and he brought the soft linen up to his face, inhaling deeply before drying his eyes. It smelled sweet, so impossibly sweet that it choked him; the cloying scent began to cloud his mind, and it made him sleepy, so tired that he couldn't keep his head up any longer, and instead it fell against Eiri's neck, and the sense of foreboding was alarming as the abyss of darkness closed in around him.

Eiri gently settled Shuichi against the seat, buckling the restraint, taking the utmost care with his toy, loath to hurt it and have it taken away again. Shuichi had been preoccupied with his flood of open emotions to notice the movement of Eiri's hand in his pocket before offering the linen for his use. He had broken a tiny bottle and dosed the fabric generously with its contents, the bottle was to be fastidiously disposed of later, for now, he wanted to get Shuichi somewhere more private for such discussions, to quell his objections and worries and then obtain some much needed relief from the constant desire for his younger lover. Shuichi had mistakes to atone for, and those would be dealt with accordingly at an unknown point in the future; at the moment, he wanted to reacquaint his lips and hands and straining erection with the sakura soft skin and mouth of his Shu.

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Dazed, and moderately nauseous, Shuichi opened his eyes to peculiar surroundings that he didn't recognize, and became swiftly dizzy, therefore he closed them quickly. Waiting for the vertigo to pass, he became aware of a familiar body pressed into him, and would have run out the door had he the capacity to move. His ears picked up on Eiri's low voice, speaking with a cadence he hadn't heard prior to now, and just as he was beginning to adjust, Eiri snapped his fingers once, and it seemed as though he were floating underwater, or watching a film rather than connecting with his milieu.

Eiri began speaking to him, and this time he listened with rapt attention, for in this parallel environment, Eiri was God, with the power to give and take away at his discretion.

"I want you to stand up, strip down completely, then come back and lay down," he said in that baritone voice that promised all manners of things to come, but Shuichi's mind was fuzzy, and it sounded like numerous bees buzzing around inside of his head, and he couldn't do anything more than stare blankly over the line of Eiri's ribcage.

Eiri looked frustrated, and snapped his fingers sharply, tugging Shuichi flush to his chest and repeating his command.

"Shuichi, can you hear me?" he asked quietly.

"Yes," he replied in a voice that was not quite his own.

"Good. I want you to stand at the foot of the bed, remove all your clothes, and come lay back down next to me. When I kiss you, you'll do this without question. You'll do anything and everything I say without question."

Lips pressed against his, and he was compelled to do something, but he didn't know what that something was, so he continued to kiss the man beside him, and was confused when he stopped. Fingers snapped for a third time, and Eiri decided to choose a different approach.

"I'm going to create an alter ego for you, a different personality if you will, that only I know about, because you won't remember when this is over. He has no name, unless I see fit to give him one, because he exists for my pleasure, he does everything I say, exactly how I say it. Shuichi will not remember anything, and will never say a word to anyone about this. Now, I want to speak to my little sex kitten, that's how I shall refer to him. Kitten, who am I speaking to?"

"No one of consequence," Shuichi replied, his demeanor playful and flirtatious, also barely deeper than normal. "I was created solely to please you, and your desire is my desire."

Eiri relaxed a notch, and continued. "Wonderful. Kitten, I want you to get up, strip down to show me that lovely body, then come crawling back into the bed like a good kitty."

Wordlessly, Shuichi slinked away down the length of the bed, then slid to his feet, and peeled off the zippered, hooded sweatshirt, followed by the black vest and long sleeved shirt. He removed his shoes and socks and his previously vacant countenance was teasing and saucy as he unbuckled his jeans, and his hips swayed as he slid them down his lithe legs. He hooked his thumbs in the waistband of his vivid blue boxers, a mischievous smirk dancing across his face as he approached the bed, then Eiri's voice called out to him.

"Stop."

Shuichi ceased all movements without hesitation.

"Do you realize that you're perfectly submissive to me, my pet, my servant?"

It was a rhetorical question, so Shuichi kept silent, letting his hands remove his underwear instead.

Eiri's eyes were dilated as he spoke. "Such a pretty little thing, aren't you?" he murmured as light fingertips trailed along Shuichi's chest, coaxing a nipple to attention as he continued. "I want you to behave like a good kitten, and ask me politely if you may suck my dick. Your gag reflex is deactivated, so you'll be able to go as deep as you like. The desire to do this will build up inside of you until you can't stand it any longer, and you'll pout for me, just like that, and beg. And you'll thank me for helping you realize that it was what you wanted all along. You won't remember any of this, and you'll never tell anyone about it. Do you understand?"

Shuichi merely nodded in his direction, the suggestions to do as his master wished had been brewing in his mind, and he itched to make him happy. He slipped down Eiri's body, tongue fluttering out to taste the tip of his cock, and smiled when the other man moaned his appreciation. Good, it looked like he was on the right track. He continued down the shaft, sucking on the vein on his way back up before taking the entire thing in his mouth. He nipped softly at the head, and was ecstatic when a hand clutched in his hair. He went as far as he could, hollowing his cheeks as he applied more pressure, his tongue working overtime, mindful of his teeth.

In next to no time, once Shuichi had swallowed his master's length deeply, and created a veritable vacuum around the sensitive skin, he was gifted with hot jets of creamy semen, and he happily milked Eiri dry.

"Thank you," Eiri managed, gently nudging Shuichi's mouth from his hyper-sensitized flesh. He ran an index finger over that slick lower lip as he surveyed his prize. Then he took notice of the time. Damn. He'd have to get Shuichi back before that godforsaken idol returned and missed him. As much as he'd love to keep the brat with him for an extended period of time, it'd be far too risky, and he really didn't want Tohma to track him down, so for now, he'd have to surrender his plaything into that idiot's safekeeping. "Okay kitten, I want you to go and brush your teeth and come right back and get dressed. You won't notice the taste of me or the toothpaste until hours later, and when you do it won't matter because you'll have eaten and brushed your teeth again anyway."

Shuichi immediately got up and did as he had been told, and as Eiri dressed, he contemplated anything else that he would need to implant in Shuichi's mind before he took him back. Shuichi re-entered at that time, and got dressed silently, regarding Eiri curiously as he did so. Eiri stepped up behind him, letting his hands roam the delectable figure prior to turning him around and kissing him once more.

"You won't remember any of this, and you won't say a word about it, and if your, roommate," Eiri snarled around the word," asks you any questions, tell him you went for a walk. I'll wake you up when we get there, and when I do, you'll be unaware until about ten minutes later, then you'll come to, and you'll only think you've been on a walk."

When Shuichi merely watched him, Eiri took his hand and led him back to the car, where he looked to be dozing, and the ride was mostly silent save for Eiri's lighter as he flicked it and inhaled to light the cigarette, and the occasional tap as he got rid of the ash at the end. He maneuvered the Mercedes next to the curb, and kissed Shuichi goodbye as he guided him out of the door and told him to go across the street and back to Ryuichi's apartment, then whispered as he went to exit the car, "Wake up."

Shuichi walked drunkenly down the sidewalk to Ryuichi's complex, entering the doors on rickety legs. As he wandered in through the lobby doors, he was nearly run over by a frantic Ryuichi.

"Shu-chan, I was so worried! I couldn't get a hold of you! What on earth happened? You didn't answer your cell phone," he babbled, holding him closely.

"I'm sorry Ryuichi, I went for a walk and I suppose I left my cell phone in the apartment. I didn't mean to worry you," he said in a flat pitch, returning the crushing embrace as best he could.

Ryuichi's level of worry instantaneously shot up several degrees, he'd never seen Shuichi like this.

With an eyebrow raised in disbelief and concern, Ryuichi slid an arm around Shuichi's waist, and immediately had more questions, as he could clearly feel the outline of Shuichi's cell phone in the right hand pocket of his jacket. What the hell was going on?

By the time they'd reached the apartment, Shuichi had snapped out of the hazy state he'd been in, and responded to Ryuichi in normal tones at last. Ryuichi closed the door behind them, and rounded on him.

"What the fuck Shuichi? You've been lying to me; I'm not stupid you know. What happened today? You said you left your cell phone here, but when I helped you inside, I could feel the damn thing in your pocket! You've been acting really strange, don't think it went unnoticed, and yes, I used a double negative, but this moment it doesn't matter. Tell me what's going on, now, later is not an option."

Shuichi was taken aback by Ryuichi's sudden aggression, but could only insist that he'd been on a walk. And his friend's expression could have been carved from stone for all its malleability.

"Don't lie to me Shu! Your face is flushed, your eyes look dazed and unfocused still, you make no sense, you can't remember what you did; instead you're spewing some verbal trash at me that not even you'd believe in my place," Ryuichi finished, the warning in his voice _daring_ Shuichi to defy him.

Shuichi worried his bottom lip nervously. Obviously there was something he was keeping from Ryuichi, and he had no idea what or why. This was problematic. He had two choices, ramble incoherently and cry until Ryuichi was distracted and then figure it out later, or continue to deny it. The unmovable stance of the brunette before him blew both theories out of the water. At a loss for words, Shuichi fumbled for speech.

"Ryu, I really, honestly, don't know what is going on either. All I can think to tell you is that I went for a walk. I don't know why I didn't answer my phone, hell; I don't even remember the walk if that helps at all. There is something just beyond the reach of my memory that I would imagine is the reason, but I can't figure out what it is. I'm sorry for worrying you, I'm sorry for lying to you, and for keeping whatever this is from you now. I just don't-," he was cut off as a sickening sensation began to spread over him; it started from the balls of his feet, and encompassed the entirety of his being. Slimy and diseased, it infected him, and he trembled as though he were violently cold.

Ryuichi looked undecided, but when he saw Shuichi quaking uncontrollably, he suppressed the tirade he'd been about to embark on in favor of hugging him gently.

"Oh hell Shu-chan, what's going on with you?" Ryuichi whispered into silky pink locks, pressing his nose into it and breathing deeply of Shuichi's scent.

Shuichi knew what he'd been unable to remember before, and why, and it infuriated him. But he was helpless, who on earth would believe him after all? It was like a bad dream, or a scene from a horror story, but it was his reality.

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Goodness gracious, it's been a while, hasn't it? I'm terribly sorry for that, but hopefully the length helps make up for that? My life has been absolutely hellish, my dad was in the hospital for like a month, and at one point they gave him five days to live, needless to say, I wasn't fit to write at that point. It's been a hell of a summer, that's for sure. I tried to make this a better chapter, as amends for the delay. I'm crossing my fingers that I won't have to wait too long in between, and thank you all for bearing with me through this. Also, on a highly personal note about this chapter, I more than most, realize just how far-fetched and ridiculous the hypnotism appears. That is what Eiri was doing by the way, though I didn't come out and say it. However, something sickeningly similar happened to me, though as a lesbian, and performed by someone I thought was a friend, made it infinitely more atrocious, invasive, and was such a breach of trust for me. I never believed in it, but I do now, and no one will ever put me under again. Thank you all for your patience, and please enjoy, though I realize it sucks for my poor abused characters, hence the cute fluff before the shit hit the fan. Oh, and a note about the title, it's an allusion to the fact that Eiri is manipulating Shuichi like a puppet, the original title for this chapter was The Puppet Master, but I digress. Also, Morpheus hints at the fact that Shuichi will be drugged, though not by morphine, it's actually supposed to be chloroform or ether, thus the description of the overly sweet smell.

Reviewer Responses:

Sa-chan: I'm glad to see that you enjoyed the chapter, as well as the imagery I used with Eiri. I believe that this manipulation would fit in the same category. Despite Shuichi's grave misfortune this chapter, I hope you enjoy all the same.

DarakuTenshi101: I'm pleased that you liked Ryuichi's dream. Nothing quite like that this chapter I'm afraid, and I hope you and everyone will forgive the Shuichi x Eiri this time, for the most part it was not consensual, so maybe that helps? Thank you for the well wishes.

Sasukelover20: I'm glad that you also enjoyed the dream. I had fun writing it. There will be a happy ending, probably. wink Thank you for your kind words. Pocky and Promises is my yaoi baby, so all encouragement goes toward me trying to write a better story.

Chibi Fujiwara: I'm sorry that the previous chapter was kind of choppy with the scene changes. I hope you like this one better? Thank you for hoping my dad gets better, though there isn't much more serious than metastatic cancer is there? Le sigh. I think this chapter has a stronger structure.

Serenity Usagi Tenou: Your reviews just about make me blush every time, did you know? And it is no mean feat either. I apologize in advance, as a great deal of this chapter is not as sparkly as normal, but there has to be dark in order to appreciate the light, ne? I love how you say that my writing shines, that makes me so ecstatically happy. I hope you enjoy the chapter sweetie.

RemindsmeofaWestSideStory: Thank you for the encouragement and support, both for the story and my father. I hope you enjoy this chapter too, and I did update, yay me!

L'uke-chan: I'm thrilled you enjoyed the humor. I did include some before it went all angst-y. Yes, Eiri has some major issues, and I doubt you'll like him much this chapter either; I'll be interested to see what names you come up with for him now. Enjoy.

Rizay: Thank you so much for all of your support and suggestions. I'm always so happy to have reviewers who tell me what they like and where I can improve. I'm still at a loss of how to change Eiri in that conversation, but I'll look into it again, promise. I greatly enjoyed the snake imagery too, I thought it fit perfectly for this story, and my personification of him. Yes, Terry Pratchett and Douglas Adams rock my socks, as does Neil Gaiman. If you haven't read "Good Omens," you're seriously missing out. I loved that line. I have fun incorporating things like that into my stories, my sparks of genius that leave me giggling. Any ideas you might have about Eiri's lines there would not be refused. Well, I didn't update as soon as I'd have liked, but I have at last. I hope you enjoy the fluff, followed by the darkness trailing behind Shuichi.

Randomly: Angst is very tricky due to how it must be handled. I'm glad that you enjoyed the smut scene that wasn't, lol, and one of my favorite sentences from last chapter. Yes, Eiri is a piece of work, is he not? He's the bad guy this time around. Perhaps in another story he won't be a sociopath, giggle. I hope you enjoy this chapter too, with its extra helping of angst a la mode.

Kai21: I apologize for confusing you, but you were right, they did mess around in the park, in Ryuichi's head at any rate. Thank you so much for your kind words about my story. They can be difficult to keep in character, but I do try, and thank you for noticing my efforts, as well as making it a favorite. I appreciate that.

Anon s2: Thank you for the cookie, I love cookies, as long as they aren't white chocolate. Yeah, at first I couldn't see Shuichi with anyone but Eiri either, so don't worry about that. However, I fell in love with the idea of Ryuichi and Shuichi, thus the birth of Pocky and Promises. Indeed, go Ryu-chan. Kick-ass Ryuichi will likely be making at least one more appearance before it's all said and done.

Suzeanne: Indeed, Shu did wake. I couldn't kill him off now could I? What kind of Ryu and Shu story would that be? I hope you enjoy the chapter.

Tala-fangirl: I'm glad you like it, and I apologize for the delay, but here's the update!


	12. Divine Intervention

Pocky and Promises

Chapter 12: Divine Intervention

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation, only my precious plot line.

Dedication: To my dad, though I'm not sure what he'd think of having a story about two gay boys dedicated to him.

Warning: No more hypnotism, I'm sure you're all highly disappointed, so to make it up to you, a long chapter. Hopefully you'll be satisfied?

Shuichi was completely at a loss. He was not a liar by nature, but in this case, he feared that the truth could only be seen as a fallacy, unless someone was to trust him implicitly. He desperately wanted to believe that Ryuichi was such a person, but after the distress that Ryuichi had suffered by Shuichi's own doing, could he put his confidence in him again? His teeth clamped down hard on his swollen lower lip, and looked earnestly into the mixed emotions dancing across the face of his friend. He saw the anxiety, warmth, and more than a little worry in those deep royal blue eyes, and so, took a chance. Placing the remains of his tattered faith in Ryuichi's hands, Shuichi began to speak, hesitantly at first, each thought interrupted by a string of apologies and feelings of inadequacy, his words tumbled over each other in their search to be heard. Ryuichi doubted that Shuichi realized he'd been crying almost from the start, and mutely pulled him close to his side, cocooned in a safe embrace as he went on. By the time Shuichi had finished in a torrent of tears, Ryuichi was seeing red, and not the bright, happy Crayola red he used when coloring, but sweeping waves of crimson fury.

Ryuichi was not a being swift to anger, or to rage, and especially not to violence. He hated no one, and never thought he possessed the capacity to do so. The veritable atomic bomb dropped from Shuichi's shining lips, however, obliterated this theory with a buoyant smile. He could cheerfully say with absolute conviction that he now hated Uesugi Eiri. Shuichi's story sounded all but impossible; regardless, it would also explain a great many things, and left with no other alternative than to send the other man to an asylum, he preferred to believe what Shuichi said. If he were wrong, well, it would just make playing with Shuichi even _more_ fun than usual. Those padded walls made the possibilities endless, na no da!

He determinedly drew his attention back to the present. The problem at hand was what to do about the next candidate for those exciting rooms, and the strange jackets that made you hug yourself all the time. The law generally frowned upon murder, however prettily it was packaged, though, he smiled with a flash of inspiration, perhaps some mild torture wouldn't go amiss before turning a paranoid Eiri over to Tohma? His tanned arms tightened marginally around Shu, and he struggled to maintain his composure. He somehow doubted that no matter how he himself had been hurt, that Shuichi would allow another to be badly injured on his behalf. Were some maniac foolhardy enough to hurt his friends or threaten his career, however, the little pink haired prodigy would show no mercy. 'Hypocritical punk,' Ryuichi thought fondly.

"Will you at least let me punch him, really hard?" he asked quietly into Shuichi's ridiculously soft hair. Ryuichi was unable to decipher the reply as Shuichi's face was currently buried into the side of his neck. "I'm sorry Shu-chan, skin has a tendency to muffle sound; I couldn't hear you."

There was a period of silence, smattered with sniffles, in which Shuichi reluctantly shifted back from Ryuichi, just enough that the other singer had room to breathe; which Ryuichi was sorry for.

"If you must, though I really just want him to get help, and lots of it. I don't understand why any of this had to happen, I mean, aside from the fact that I am clearly an idiot," he replied.

"Well, you said it, not me," Ryuichi said with half a grin, but continued before Shuichi could interrupt him, "I sincerely wish you had talked to me, to Hiroshi-kun, to someone, but what happened was not your fault."

As expected, Shuichi immediately protested. "But I talked to _him_ and I willingly went with the bastard! I put myself in a position where he could be in control, and I-." A smooth finger to his lips halted Shuichi mid-sentence.

"Iie, Shuichi, take no blame for that. You are an innocent soul, and you trust without reservation. It is one of your sweetest qualities, but not everyone can handle that, or indeed deserves it."

"Demo, -" he was again stopped, but this time by a kiss as gentle as Eiri's were harsh, light and brushing, he almost wasn't sure it had happened at all, if not for the tingle that still lingered across the sensitive skin, or the equally soft hand that cradled his cheek.

"You and he were not meant to be, for if something is, then nothing in the world can tear it apart, and if it isn't, then there is nothing humanly possible to keep it together. He had you, he didn't know how to keep you, and so he lost you. This was an act of desperation that cost you greatly, and will likely haunt him for the rest of his life as well once he fully understands what he's done. Under normal circumstances, I don't believe that he ever would have hurt you, physically at any rate. I think he hurt you emotionally on a daily basis, though I imagine that too is not entirely his fault. He's a broken soul, Shuichi, but it isn't up to you to fix him, not anymore. I'm going to talk to Tatsuha-kun and Tohma, as well as Mika-san, maybe combined they can get him the help he needs." Shuichi never need know just how difficult those words had been, and he phrased his next very carefully. "And hopefully I can try to do the same for you," he said in a voice just above a whisper.

Shuichi took a moment to interpret what had been said, and didn't miss the fact that Ryuichi thought he needed help too, and while perfectly reasonable, it didn't sit well. It took great effort to avoid hyperventilation, as the thought of sharing what had transpired with anyone, professional or not, filled him with dread bordering on an outright panic attack. Kumagoro suggested quietly into Ryuichi's ear that it was time to change the subject.

"So do you want sukiyaki and tempura vegetables for dinner tonight?" he asked seemingly out of the blue, rising to phone in the order. Since that memorable breakfast blunder, Ryuichi had taken to ordering out for them unless Shuichi felt up to preparing a meal; a side benefit of living with Eiri had been to make a decent cook out of him, so long as he focused with a capital F and took his time. If he let his attention wander freely, or got in a hurry, strange things best never mentioned again tended to happen despite his good intentions.

Shuichi blinked for a full thirty seconds before acknowledging that Ryuichi would perpetually keep him on his toes. He dimly nodded in agreement before letting his chaotic thoughts ponder the inexplicably enigmatic puzzle that was his friend, and the dynamic role Ryuichi seemed destined to fill that he'd been unable to name quite yet.

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_**First person perspective, Sakuma Ryuichi**_

The week or so that followed was rough for Shuichi, though the actual time elapsed was rather insignificant in the scheme of things. When the subject of my thoughts peered out of the window in a gesture strongly reminiscent of myself, I quietly exited the room, allowing him his solitude, and used the opportunity to phone Tohma, as I had quite a bit to tell him. He was horrified, repulsed, and a number of other emotions that I couldn't pinpoint, distracted as I was. My recount of recent events was sketchy and vague, even for me, though I daresay the sum of things was enough. He asked to speak to Shu, which did surprise me, but I quietly explained how I'd left him, and he relented, for the moment. I could, however, feel the anger that radiated through the line, and almost winced to think of what might happen to Uesugi Eiri in the foreseeable future.

"We're allowed a hit, I think, and between you, Tatsuha-kun, and I, that might be quite enough, but what he needs is help, the full extent of which only a qualified psychiatrist could say of course. You'll take care of him, right Tohma?" I questioned out of no real necessity; though it did provide Tohma with an outlet for his considerable pent-up energy.

"A silly question Ryuichi-san, and you are well aware of it. I appreciate the thought for my well-being, however, wouldn't you be better served to tend to Shuichi-kun's needs, as well as your own?" Tohma was well aware of the implications, and he had never before sullied his own hands in his revenge, but for serving a higher purpose, which four months ago he would never have admitted existed, he decided that his manicure could be sacrificed for a punch, or two, or ten. It still amazed him that the animosity he'd felt towards the genki singer had morphed into grudging acceptance, then a surprisingly powerful protective instinct.

I sighed and spoke again, blissfully unaware of Tohma's diabolical scheming, "Absolutely, but I'm afraid to smother him. I understand the need for privacy, as well as the desire for independence again. He's suffered under Eiri-san's shadow long enough, and those scars can't be healed any time soon. I try to help when he allows me," and hoped that my voice didn't betray my weakness too plainly. Shuichi making his presence known cut any further discussion short, and his anger was nearly as visible.

I closed the phone with a mental plea that begged he had not misinterpreted my call; the fist landing in white-hot connection with my jaw blew that wishful thought out of the water. Shuichi had a keen right hook, I noted through the unexpected pain. This catharsis of rage was better for him than the apathy he had been favoring lately, though this was of little consolation to my aching face.

"Shuichi, -"I got no further as he launched into an apoplectic frenzy.

"How _dare_ you plot with Seguchi-san about me! Did he have a good laugh when you told him how Eiri manipulated me? I loved the part when you alluded to the control he had over me, yet you're blithely standing there doing almost the _exact same thing_!" he raged, punctuated by another blow, to my stomach this time. I'd never hit him back, but as my eyes watered, I came to two conclusions. One, if Shuichi had ever had the inclination to fight back, Eiri would have had some competition, and maybe would have wizened up, and two, I needed to head him off, and I was unsure that verbal reassurances would be overly helpful right this moment. The next time he swung to hit me, I caught his wrists, and pulled him to me in a hug. It might not have been the best course of action, but it was all I could think to do. He immediately tensed in my arms, which was a first, and now I opted for speech.

"Shuichi, " I said in a low voice, "Tohma and I were discussing treatment for Uesugi-san, not you. I'd never betray your trust like that. What he did to you is not my story to tell anyone." I hesitated before continuing," Is it safe for me to let go of you now Shu-chan?" I was shooting for calm and soothing, though with my heart pounding an erratic melody against my ribcage, and coincidentally Shuichi's chest, it was unlikely.

I received a slow nod, and released him, only for him to crash into me so suddenly that we both landed on the floor. For once I was glad for the obtuse lavishness of the lush carpet, it cushioned Shuichi-induced falls rather nicely. I held onto him gratefully, and continued to hold him when he broke into pieces atop of me.

Running cautious fingers through his hair, I listened as he talked, and tilted my head to better face him when he paused.

My unspoken question was answered, "I think you're right that I need to assert my independence again, and to sort things out," he drew an unsteady breath, "but maybe not today."

I smiled and let him get comfortable, returning to my previous activity, and watched him fall asleep. I hated feeling helpless, the only thing worse was to be hopeless, and the gods help me should I ever reach such a state. I downright refused to ever let Shuichi fall that far, his voice was meant for the world to hear, and his sparkle too brilliant to be lost to darkness. I could provide a buffer from the world should he need one, a lover should he ever want that with me, and I could pull him back from the precipice of the abyss, but I had no idea how to stop the void if it surrounded him from within. I could only hope for his salvation, and that such a thing would never happen to my light. I briefly wished for a blanket, but decided that Shuichi would serve just fine, and guided him a little closer, letting myself drift off as well, and shoving such gloomy thoughts elsewhere for the time being. I would find a way to put the little fragments of Shuichi back together again, even if I had to use glitter with enough Super Glue for the proper stickiness, in order to do it. Actually, I giggled quietly, snuggling into his hair so that I could breathe him in, that would probably be the best way, to fill Shu with so much sparkle that he'd forget all about the past, and focus on the shiny future. And if I wanted that future to include me, complain to Kuma because I can't help it anymore.

_**End first person perspective, Sakuma Ryuichi**_

And that was exactly how Suguru and Hiro found them twenty minutes later. Suguru had received a frantic call from a panicking Tohma, and they had high tailed it over to Ryuichi's apartment. Nothing seemed out of place aside from the fact that their friends were sprawled on the floor, without the tent this time, and that they appeared exhausted. Before they retired to separate couches, Suguru retrieved the camera from his pocket, and snapped a picture while Hiro grumbled about their total lack of attention to security, and how he'd have a word, or several choice expletives to share once they awoke. Suguru rolled his eyes. The only reason that Sakuma Ryuichi would ever bother with increasing security would be for Shuichi's sake, as he had a considerably naïve outlook on such things, he thought everyone was his friend, so Hiro might want to consider that if he wanted to get anything through to the stubborn singer. They really were too damn cute, Suguru reflected with a smile, and whenever they realized what they meant to one another, he'd give the photograph to them, though, he thought as he settled onto the shorter sofa, knowing those two he might have a rather long wait.

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Ryuichi awoke first, and noticed that they had company. He didn't wish to disturb Shuichi, or Hiro-kun or Suguru-kun for that matter, so he stretched slowly and worked out a particularly sore kink in his neck from sleeping at such an odd angle. The other singer entwined with him began to stir, and though Ryuichi would miss the comforting touch and warmth he radiated, he strongly believed that Shuichi needed some time away, preferably with Hiro, for a few hours or so.

Shuichi reluctantly opened weary violet eyes, and was more than a little surprised to find the other two-thirds of Bad Luck for all purposes and appearances currently dozing lightly in the living room. He promptly laid his head back on Ryuichi's shoulder, and watched him open those jewel-hued blue eyes. They found themselves gazing at each other with quiet intensity, and heard a subtle click that drew their attention. 'Ah,' Shuichi noted, 'Suguru has discovered where I hid his camera. Damn.' He blushed under the friendly observation, and carefully sat up; Ryuichi soon followed suit.

"Even at home, it seems we're still at the mercy of the paparazzi," Shuichi teased. Secretly he thought that Suguru having picked up photography was a mixed blessing. While it gave him another thing to focus on, so perhaps rehearsals might be a little less strained; everyone had fallen prey to his camera lens even more than _they_ were used to. On a sigh, Shuichi relented that at least those photos had no chance of making their way to the media.

Suguru smiled. He certainly wasn't going to apologize, though such a comment did warrant a response.

"What can I say? I saw a moment I wanted to capture on film, so I did. I think it's something you'll like to see later too."

Shuichi rolled his eyes, knowing when to give in, and get up and make tea. The silence as they drank was unnatural in Ryuichi's apartment, but Shuichi had little time to worry as the stagnant atmosphere was swiftly breached. Evidently he'd missed a nonverbal conversation between his closest friends while he had stared moodily into the dregs of his cup, because he suddenly saw a shadow blocking the incandescent light above him. He peered up in surprise, and was puzzled to see Hiro standing in front of him, his face quite determined, a soundless flicker of acknowledgement passing from Ryuichi to his much loved guitarist. In an instant Shuichi found himself being hauled to his feet, and tugged out of the door. Bewildered, he looked over his shoulder quizzically at Ryuichi, but only received a wave goodbye for his trouble. He did, however, snicker as he took in the dawning look of horror that was creeping across Suguru's face upon realizing that he was being left with Ryuichi. 'Oh Kami-sama, hurry back,' the teenager silently beseeched. Sakuma-san's bouts of 'creative inspiration' were as legendary as his voice. Suguru turned wide eyes on the grinning maniac seated across from him, and trembled upon hearing Ryuichi's words.

"Let's play!"

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Shuichi fidgeted as he was kidnapped by Hiro, having a strong feeling that he knew how this conversation was going to begin, and end, and that he didn't want to have it at all just now, but was rather unable to deny his best friend much of anything. He scraped the toe of his sneaker against the pavement, and kicked a pebble as they walked, ending in almost the same place that Ryuichi had lead him the other day when they'd fallen into the pond, and his friend had had that strange expression on his beautiful face before running off in a hurry. His companion finally came to a stop, and made himself comfortable on the springy grass. On a sigh, Shuichi plopped down beside him. 'This could become very unpleasant, 'Shuichi noted warily, picking at blades of the fresh green grass around his left hand.

"Alright Shuichi," Hiro said, turning to face the head of pink hair currently looking anywhere but at him, "we need to talk."

With those words, the wriggly feeling in his tummy started, and Shuichi gave up molesting the grass, and met Hiro's calm grey gaze.

"I know," he whispered, falling back onto the cushion provided by nature, his arms crossed behind his head, trying to prepare himself for this. "Is it really that obvious that I'm attracted to Ryuichi?" he mumbled, hoping to divert the flow of the inevitable conversation.

Hiro twitched marginally, and resisted the urge to smack his best friend playfully for his cheek.

"I don't know, Shu, what was supposed to be the first clue? The fact that you've been in love with the man practically half your life? Or the fact that you've dropped all honorifics? Or maybe it was the little stars and hearts starting their own orbit around your head complete with song and dance number? Come on Shuichi, the man is gorgeous, and has an amazing ass. Of course you'd be attracted to him, you punk." Hiro groused only in half-frustration. Sometimes Shuichi could be so very stubborn. But, there was always a way to make him talk if he resisted.

"Maah," Shuichi grumbled, a blush spreading across his cheeks "I know that's not why you dragged me out Hiro. You don't think I'm that stupid, do you? Wait, don't answer that," he grimaced. "Ask what you want, but I can't guarantee you an answer you'll like," he said softly, lying back on the cushion provided by nature, his arms crossed behind his head in concession to the impending inquisition.

Hiro refrained from commenting on Shuichi's foolhardy assumption for the moment, and instead chose to focus on the more important, though less appealing topic at hand. He drew a breath, aware that he was about to tread on volatile ground. His voice was soft as he asked,

"I want you to tell me exactly what happened Shuichi. What did that bastard do to you?"

'Well, that was blunt,' Shuichi noted, mildly taken aback.

Shuichi squeezed his eyes shut against the barrage of chaos swirling in his mind and heart. He had known that it was coming; yet he wasn't fully prepared for it regardless. How do you tell your best friend that your ex-lover managed to convince you that he needed your support, so you were stupid enough to go with him when he said so, and didn't tell anyone against your better judgment? And then that same ex-lover drugs you, drags you back to his apartment, where he then hypnotizes you into some kind of freaky sex slave. How do you tell someone_ that_ and not have them ship you off to the psych ward? He turned pleading eyes on his long-time friend, begging for understanding. Shuichi clenched his fist in the grass, if he could tell Ryuichi, he could tell Hiro, he owed him that much.

So Shuichi began to talk, his normally melodious voice flat and dead-sounding until he reached some of the things particularly traumatic to him; those times Shuichi shook violently, and Hiro held him.

"Did you know that I wasn't supposed to remember Hiro, that I wasn't supposed to tell anyone? But I did remember! I did and I don't know which is worse!" he sobbed into his friend's shoulder, crying so heartily that Hiro couldn't hear much of what he said until," But I think the worst part," he paused, and Hiro cringed, not sure how it could _be_ much worse," the worst part is that he created an alter ego for me that was perfectly submissive to him. I could see everything going on, like I was underwater or in a dream, but it was real. And I couldn't stop my body from doing what it was told. And he said, he said that it was what I had wanted all along, and that I should THANK HIM_,_ thank him for helping me figure it out!" he raged before dissolving into a flurry of tears so thick that Hiro couldn't distinguish anything else, but he had most certainly heard enough.

'What am I going to do with you Shuichi?' he asked himself, pulling the trembling singer closer to his chest, running a hand up and down his back to attempt to comfort him. Then his thoughts shifted to Ryuichi. 'And what am I going to do about him? Can he take care of Shu any better than that guy?' he wondered. Lastly, he contemplated Uesugi Yuki Eiri, and a snarl spread across his lips as he hugged Shuichi still. Once he had his friend suitably calmed down and back in decent spirits, they'd head back; he'd grab that anal-retentive keyboardist of theirs, and have him get in touch with his cousin. Uesugi-san was going to be introduced to justice, vigilante style.

At length, Shuichi's sobs leveled off, and Hiro was able to bribe him with a secret supply of pocky, from the handy parallel universe at his disposal, called a cargo pocket. Although not as genki as usual, Shuichi did perk up a little, and Hiro decided it was time to resort to the big guns.

"So Shuichi, when are you and Ryuichi-san going to make it official?" Hiro teased with a grin.

Shuichi blushed five shades of pink and fidgeted. "We're just roommates Hiro," he replied, not wholly convincing.

"Oh, and you normally kiss your roommate, do you?" he quipped knowingly.

"What!? Who told you!? I'm going to murder him!"

Hiro's smirk was triumphant. "I didn't know for sure until now, Shu," he laughed, with a tap to the end of Shuichi's nose.

Shuichi fumed in dawning realization, and promptly glared daggers at his best friend. "I'm going to make sure you die a slow and painful death Hiro, for the suffering you inflict on me," he complained with a dramatic sweep of his hand across his eyes.

"I love you too Shuichi," Hiro laughed, contemplating his next move, and decided to go for the kill, but just before he could begin tickling Shuichi until he turned blue, or at least forgot to be sad, he was interrupted by the arrival of Ryuichi, and a dazed looking Suguru.

"Ooh, is it a game?" Ryuichi squealed in uncontrollable excitement, hurrying over, Suguru still being drug along behind him, and threw himself down on the ground, straddling Shuichi's waist.

Violet eyes opened quickly at the sound of _that_ voice, and he braced himself for Ryu's landing. Having been unaware that he had been moments away from the tickle war of a lifetime, Shuichi was completely surprised when Ryuichi started tickling him mercilessly, and gave up entirely when Hiro, and eventually even Suguru joined in his playful torment. Breathless, with tears slowly streaking their way down his face, Shuichi tried to call a truce.

"Okay, okay, enough already!" he gasped "I'm getting too old to take this kind of abuse!"

Ryuichi grinned like a kid in a candy store. "What was that Shuichi? We can keep tickling you? Oh you're such a good sport!" and the others' wicked fingers went back to work across Shuichi's sides and the back of his knees.

"I surrender!" Shuichi wheezed, "I can't breathe," he giggled, the force of laughter making him dizzy. And then he noticed that his right side was damp. "Anou, why are you wet Ryuichi, Suguru-kun?" he asked quizzically.

"That's a long story, Shuichi-kun," Suguru mumbled with a dark look in Ryuichi's direction.

"I don't have the faintest idea what you're talking about Suguru-kun, do you Kuma-chan?" Ryuichi was the picture of innocence, his large blue eyes wide, shining, and unassuming.

Shuichi shook his head. "Shall we get back to the apartment then, and you can tell Hiro and I all about how you got soaked when it isn't raining," Shuichi smiled with a wink, having possibly found an escape from the loving torture at his friends' hands. "We've finished our conversation too, right Hiro?" he asked.

"For now," Hiro said with an arched brow. He'd be keeping a closer eye on those two, and though there were a few things he'd like to have said to Shuichi, he was also quite curious about what exactly Ryuichi and Suguru had been up to.

Together they trekked back up to the apartment complex, sodden Ryuichi, Suguru, and Kumagoro in tow.

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Seguchi Tohma ended the phone call with his wife Mika, and clasped his fingers in front of his aristocratic face. A rare sigh escaped his meticulous control as he turned sharp emerald eyes to roam across the ceiling.

"My cousin and Ryuichi-san simply have to stop calling me with emergency situations, I don't know that my facial regimen can keep up with the strain," he complained softly, resting his chin forward into the perch of his hands. His gaze fell on the vivid poster of Bad Luck, and his firm mouth softened. Shuichi-kun certainly seemed to incite a lot of trouble, but even he had a soft spot for him now, so he supposed that he couldn't blame anyone else for wanting to look out for him. Somehow Shuichi-kun evoked a protective response in almost everyone around him.

However, he did not have the time to ponder the conundrum that was Japan's favorite pink haired singer, and his expression was stern as he pushed his two million yen leather chair back from his five million yen hardwood desk. He gathered his long fur trimmed jacket, gloves, and briefcase and rose to stand on his Prada loafer clad feet, purpose marking his stride. He had politely asked his beautiful wife to arrange for her younger brother to meet with them shortly. A dire situation was at hand, for as much as he loved Eiri, something had to be done, and he was clearly the only person with the power to see it through. A small smile crept across his lips, though it brought no warmth to his youthful face, it was time for an intervention.

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Minna I'm so sorry!! I've been going through a really tough time, and it was really hard for me to find the time, energy, or inspiration to write, even for my favorite yaoi story. My dad died, and I've been a mess ever since; I wish that statement was hyperbole, but I'm afraid that it's the truth. But I'll try to update more often, and I hope you enjoyed the chapter. I know it probably didn't seem like it had a lot of purpose, but in this author's humble opinion, it lays the foundation for the next chapter, and chain of events. Please forgive me. On the bright side, I'll tell you this, no more sick and twisted things happen to Shuichi, and he'll be writing a new song in the next couple of chapters, and I hope you like it when the time is right for it to be included. Again, I'm so sorry, I bow at your feet. ~Humbly yours, Aqua, aka Shuichi to my newest friends.

Reviewer Responses:

L'uke-chan:

Now now, murder is illegal, remember that. Hee. I'm sorry for what happened to Shuichi, poor little angst-ridden uke, and rightfully so of course. I'm sorry for the wait, my life has been hell. I hope you like this chapter better. ~Love, Aqua

RainaSukiMiyuki: I made you speechless? I think I should get a point for that. Hee. I hope you enjoy the chapter darling. ~Love, Aqua

Randomly: There is yet more angst, suspense, and some fluff too this time around. I don't know that I could write a story without some stress relief. I hope you enjoy the chapter, and that you can forgive me. ~Love, Aqua

Sa-chan: Your reviews always make me smile. I'm so glad that you like the story, even if Eiri is a little insane. I apologize for the atrocious delay, and hope that you like this chapter. ~Love, Aqua

Chibi-Fujiwara: Hello there. Well, he had metastatic cancer, but he's out of pain now, or so I tell myself. Eh, go ahead and critique me some, without suggestions, how can I improve? I need that. I hope you enjoy this much belated chapter. My deepest apologies. ~Love, Aqua

Tora-Star: Thank you for your kind review, and I'm glad you enjoy it so much. I hope you like this chapter too. I've been editing it for ages. I'm sorry for the wait. ~Love, Aqua.

DarakuTenshi101 Yes, it was intense. Imagine going through it yourself, but I'd rather not dwell on personal nightmares. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I may add a little more at the end with Tohma and crew, but for now, this is the end of chapter 12. ~Love, Aqua

Cagna: Yes, Eiri is a bit insane, and a lot of a bastard in PAP, but he isn't in every story I plan to write. I apologize for the delay, and I hope you like this chapter. ~Love, Aqua

Rebhist: Well, hello there, thank you for reviewing. Reviewers new and return always make my heart go pitter pat. I'm thrilled that you liked my story enough to sit down and read it all in one go. Things like that give me such wonderful encouragement. I hope you enjoy the chapter. ~Love, Aqua

Akesato: Thank you so much for your kind words. Love from readers is what helps me keep writing, as well as my own desire to of course. I have updated at last, please pardon the delay. ~Love, Aqua

Rizay: Well, it is true that I liked to wait until I've heard from some of my most frequent reviewers, actually as you've probably read, my dad died, and ever since I've been a bit of a zombie to be frank. –sigh- However, here is a shiny new chapter. Yes, you're right that Eiri is never really amused in the way that I've written him, but that was just how it came out. Thank you for your encouragement about their relationship, it is a worry about whether I rush it or make it drag, insert frustrated noise here. And as far as where things are going with Eiri, I think the end of the chapter alludes to it. Thank you for your concern and I hope you like this chapter. ~Love, Aqua

Demon Lady Sesshomaru: Hello there Pico Pico Noriko-chan. I'm so honored that you graced my story with two reviews. I have attempted to broach the subject of Eiri's characterization in a very specific way in order to achieve my goal, and I'm glad that even the most devoted Eiri fans are seeing him in the light I have depicted him. Don't worry though, he won't be diabolical and nasty in every Gravitation fan fiction I write. I hope you enjoy the chapter. ~Love, Aqua more commonly known as Shuichi

Shakugan no Shana: Thank you so much for your review, and I hope you enjoy this chapter too. Yes, Eiri has some serious mental issues, doesn't he? You have my demented imagination to thank for that, as well as being bitten by the Ryu x Shu bug and thus I had to create a world in which Shuichi would leave his precious Yuki. Thus was born, Pocky and Promises, well, that and there is far too much fluff for this to be a Shuichi and Eiri story that would be remotely plausible. I hope you enjoy this delayed chapter. ~Love, Aqua


	13. Inertia

Pocky and Promises

Chapter 13: Inertia

Disclaimer: I'm sorry I've been absent. I'm not leaving "Pocky and Promises." It's my baby, and I won't abandon it. Please feel free to give any suggestions you like, and I hope I'm not too out of practice. Gravitation and its characters are the sole property of Murakami Maki-sensei.

Uesugi Tatsuha stared apprehensively at his sister and brother-in-law's home as he brought his motorcycle to a stop and killed the engine with a turn of his wrist. Normally he and Seguchi kept each other at arm's length, only interacting when there was no other option, and he'd certainly never been invited over for dinner. Therefore, he was both curious and cautious as to what the hell had prompted the urgent call from Mika. Well, standing around the front of their mansion-like home like some stalker wasn't going to get him any answers, so Tatsuha tossed his helmet and keys to the envious valet, fixed said valet with one well placed glare which promised a painful torture session should he find a scratch in the paint or one dent in the chrome, flirted with the young woman jogging past, who proceeded to trip over her own feet at his disarming smile, and artfully tousled his hair as he strode up the sweeping drive and knocked on the massive front doors.

"Oi, aneki! It's your darling baby brother, what's for dinner?" he called loudly; when in doubt, go for boisterous, it had served him well in the past, and the solid hardwood door swung open to reveal none other than Seguchi himself. Tatsuha's smart-ass comment died on his lips. He never thought he'd see the day when Seguchi answered his own door; didn't he have liveried servants for things like that?

His stiffly polite brother-in-law led him to their massive dining room, where Mika sat with her hands in her lap, staring mutely at the delectable meal strategically placed on the table. Now Tatsuha knew something was horribly wrong. Mika was never this quiet, not even chastising him for his ruffled appearance.

"Okay, what the hell is going on, and why does Mika look comatose?" he asked without preamble, plunking himself unceremoniously into the vacant chair to his sister's right, the action seeming to jar her from her catatonic state.

"It's Eiri," she said quietly, blinking slowly a few times to collect herself, and turned to face her baby brother who was leaning toward her looking highly concerned. "He has done something unspeakable, and we aren't sure what to do," she sighed softly, squeezing the hand resting atop of hers in a firm grip. "We don't know the full extent of the damage he has inflicted, but we have to intervene; he seems to have lost touch with reality," Mika continued, only a slight tremor in her voice indicating the level of distress she was suffering.

Tatsuha listened attentively as she spoke, shock and disbelief racing over his pretty face. The story slowly fell into place, the bits and pieces they knew at any rate, and Tats dearly wanted to punch something, but from the sound of things, Tohma had beat him to it. The teenager bordering on man looked up swiftly to see the slender blonde with his deadly manicured hand balled into a fist against the wall that likely cost more than the temple made in a year, shoulders shaking silently before he slowly withdrew his now bleeding knuckles from the stained paint. The frustration had been welling steadily as his wife had spoken, and culminated in a most unseemly fashion. He could hardly remember the last time he'd lost his composure in such a manner. At length, Tohma spoke, sitting heavily opposite of Tatsuha, and taking Mika's hand also, keeping his injured hand at his side.

"We're going to have to force him into a secured facility, to be evaluated and treated against his wishes and it will not be easy. He is not wholly insane, and could easily fool a mediocre professional, so we will have to act swiftly, and get him to the psychiatrist I have conversed with about him. Eiri is unstable and volatile, and a danger both to himself and others, but especially Shindou-kun," Tohma finished, at length meeting Tatsuha's disbelieving gaze.

Said Uesugi was muttering mostly to himself," How? What the hell caused Eiri to do something so awful that even Seguchi is worried about Shuichi of all people?" He stared down where his hand met that of his distraught sister, and slowly came back to himself, squeezing hers gently in reassurance. "Well it seems that Eiri's gone and gotten himself into another situation that family has to bail him out of. What do you need my help for?"

Tohma smiled then, and began to speak. In the past he'd always preferred to do things himself, but even the wriest of men could learn to work with others in times of desperation. They would have to corner Eiri at home, no mean feat in the slightest, and subdue him enough to transfer him to the private facility, where he could be evaluated for three days' time, by request of his next of kin. Tatsuha only hoped that he would ever speak to them after this was over with, as Eiri hated to be herded.

"Just tell them to ask about Shuichi, that's bound to result in a less than sane reaction," Tats threw out before lapsing into silence. How was the kid anyway?

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"The kid," was currently screaming at the top of his lungs at one Sakuma Ryuichi who had about reached the end of his considerable patience. They had been fighting for the past two hours according to Ryu's pink Kumagoro watch, a present from Shuichi. Ryuichi had never known it was possible _to_ fight about a blender for so long; he learned something new every day. Okay, so it wasn't just the blender, but kitchen appliances had definitely been involved.

"For the last time! I was not making some American circa 1950's leading statement that I think of you as a housewife! I thought we might like to blend something sometime, like margaritas! And I know for a fact that the goddamn blender is not what's really wrong, so for the love of god Shuichi, tell me the truth!" Ryuichi groaned, staring at Shu with one eye as he massacred the chair beneath his hand.

Shuichi huffed in Ryu's general direction and slumped down into the man-eating sofa across from him. He hated arguing with his friend and host, but he had just been so on-edge lately, what with sorting things out and trying to come to grips with the fact that his ex-lover, the man he'd thought he would have spent the rest of his life with, was certifiable. This coupled with the frightening feelings he was developing for Ryuichi, made him search out fights lately, just to release some of the pent-up energy.

"I don't know why any of this matters. It's not like you really care about me," Shuichi tossed off flippantly.

That did it. Ryuichi sprang to his feet and leaned down right in Shu's face. "I don't care? I don't care? I love you, you pain in the ass!" he shouted, and groaned quietly upon realizing he'd now left Shu with no room to speculate on his position, and there was no possibility he hadn't heard, as he had done a smashing job of rattling Shuichi's eardrums in the process of confessing.

It was amazing just how much Shuichi looked like a goldfish right in that moment, mouth opening and closing repeatedly, but no sound coming out. Well, it appeared that round three went to Ryuichi, five hundred points for making Shuichi speechless. Ryu swiped his finger down an invisible tally, and grinned, though his nerves were doing the tango in his stomach.

Shuichi finished his impersonation of a fish out of water, and stared at Ryuichi with wide violet eyes.

"S-sakuma-san," he stuttered, and Ryuichi's eyes narrowed. "Back to surnames I see," he said flatly, and turned to grab his jacket from its place draped over the back of the couch. "I'm going for a walk," he tossed over his shoulder, as he drew the leather close, and let the door slam behind him where it echoed into the reverberating silence. Shuichi stared blankly at the space Ryuichi had so recently occupied. Well he'd just fucked that up royally, hadn't he?

Shuichi knelt down and picked up the abused blender box, feeling entirely ridiculous and a smile spread over his face at the little drawings covering the wrapping paper. He entertained himself with the stories frisking across the paper, and realized he should stop taking his own frustrations out on his good friend and host, and apologize like his life depended on it. Shu placed the appliance on the kitchen counter and made to go after Ryuichi, but caught the tail end of the weather report, and snagged an umbrella big enough for both of them to keep dry until he found what he was looking for.

Ryuichi barely looked back when he stamped out the door, not bothering to lock it behind him as he moodily strode down the stairs, having foregone the elevator. He was angry, agitated, frustrated, and downright pissed off, though he wasn't entirely sure why. Yes, the object of his affections hadn't returned his feelings, but so what, did he really expect anything different? That _boy_ was so entangled in Uesugi Yuki Eiri that he couldn't see anyone else, and Ryuichi was a fool for thinking otherwise. One or two kisses meant nothing, he knew that now, and he wouldn't let himself be drawn in by those soft eyes, gentle touch, silky skin, or blinding smile again. Twelve flights later, Ryuichi reached the main level, his energy spiking higher than ever as he came to grips with the level of his infatuation, and that's what this mess had to be, a silly infatuation that nothing would come of. He'd never been in love, so why mess up a good thing right? He gazed up at the gaudy neon sign, and went in anyway, itching for a drink, and a fight, or maybe a fuck. Ryu seated himself in the farthest corner of the bar, keeping his face out of view and mumbled to the bartender for a double shot of his best whiskey. He downed the drink in one fluid movement, and felt the instant heat that spread through his core, winding up to settle in his head, making things feel a little more bearable, and brought a crooked smile to his face. Ryu slowly perused the characters in the building with a different purpose now, burning blue eyes scalding all they touched, though one man met his gaze, and kept it. Interesting, the night was beginning to pick up. Ryuichi stood on long legs and sauntered over to where he sat, leaned forward and dipped his tongue into the black haired man's drink playfully, and drained it before peering up at him with playful eyes.

"Fancy another drink since I seem to have finished yours?" he asked in a purr, limber fingers trailed along the smooth jaw, and if he tilted his head just the right way, the youthful face could almost be Shuichi. His mystery man was shocked into next Tuesday and had been absorbed by the Sakuma Ryuichi smile, staring at him like a filet mignon, though Ryu would be the one devouring him.

Ryuichi had the satisfaction of watching warm hazel eyes widen impossibly _just like Shuichi_ when he took the initiative and slanted his mouth over alcohol flavored lips. His boy-toy of the moment about came in his pants, and submitted gleefully to fevered advances. Ryu was dimly aware of hands in his hair, and groaned quietly against lips that were soft, but not soft enough, though he ignored this quite vehemently, and threw down a fifty before taking the bewildered man's hand and moving to leave, when suddenly he ran smack dab into a Shuichi holding an umbrella that looked as weatherworn as he. Had it been raining? He didn't remember getting wet on his way to hell in a hand-basket.

Shuichi's expressions danced across his face like a movie reel: relief, surprise, shock, anger, and sadness.

"Seems like your girlfriend found you," said nameless, insignificant, would-be fuck number 576, 942, having located his voice at last, and still holding Ryuichi's hand loosely.

Ryuichi refused to feel the guilt that punched through him like a gaping wound at the accusation in violet eyes, though he did let go of boy-toy's hand as though it were a dirty beast. "It seems he did," he said coolly in response, and raised an eyebrow at Shu, wondering if he'd go away quietly, or if he'd get that fight after all. Ryu turned from his conquest of the night and stared hard at Shuichi, seeing the very real worry and pain written across his features. Perhaps he had been rash in his decisions, perhaps not, but regardless, they should talk. He bid the black haired man goodnight, never bothering to learn his name, and walked outside as casually as he could manage, the mixed emotions radiating off of Shuichi like moonbeams. Boy-toy's indignant blathering was overtaken by the swell of music; the poor kid looked like Christmas had been cancelled, but despite his strong agitation, Ryuichi had eyes only for Shuichi.

Neither man said a word as they went home, the screaming wind their only music. At length, they arrived, and the two men eyed one another warily; some of Ryuichi's vindictiveness ebbed in the wake of crystal tears raining down Shuichi's face.

"I'm sorry!" Shu shouted, rushing forth and throwing himself into Ryuichi's arms without warning, and sobbed despondently on his shoulder. He broke into babble that Ryuichi could hardly hear, and he sighed quietly in defeat. Shuichi had been in the wrong to argue with him over nothing, but he had deeply wounded his friend because of his own selfishness.

"I'm sorry too Shu," Ryuichi mumbled quietly, his ire lost among the scattered apologies and sniffles. "I hurt you and I'm sorry." He wasn't used to apologizing, being a rock-star came with the perks of being spoiled by all and sundry, but Shuichi was an exception. He too played the game, but hadn't been changed by the industry yet, and never would if Ryu had anything to say about it.

He could still taste the black haired kid's mouth, and it bothered him; there was no sensible reason for the fact that it felt like he'd cheated on Shuichi, but there it was all the same. He had to get rid of that taste. Damning himself all the way down, Ryuichi gently tilted Shuichi's head to his and softly kissed him, waiting for a slap to the face or some other such repercussion; none came. Instead, he found enthusiastic lips responding to his, and smooth hands opening his shirt. Elated, confused, awash in everything Shuichi, Ryu groaned under his touches, desperately seeking to prove this was real.

"Is this a dream again?" he asked with a small whine, if so this would be pure torture and he'd have to fire his imagination and apply for a new one.

"Again?" Shuichi replied breathlessly, mind struggling to play catch up. "Oh!" he smiled softly, "So that's why you ran away from me that day in the park. Were you having naughty thoughts Ryu-chan?" he queried with a knowing smile.

Ryuichi's answer came in the form of a kiss that caused Shuichi's world to stop, tilt, and spin at the speed of sound; he was dizzy with desire and didn't want it to end. Shu fell back against the cushions, lightheaded, chest-to-chest, and lips to lips with a face of Ryuichi he'd never seen, and holy crap was it hot. Ryu's mouth was warm and firm and his lips submerged Shuichi in a turbulent wave of lust like some mind-altering drug. Violet eyes were heavy and blurred, unable to see past the insistent lips and stormy eyes before him, but Shuichi forgot to care as gentle fingers settled into his hair and exposed his hypersensitive neck, and nimble lips skittered across the skin.

"Yuki never responded to my apologies so warmly," he panted raggedly, squirming under the careful, teasing caresses.

Ryuichi paused with his mouth above Shuichi's neck, and halted his hand as it made its joyous journey down his youthful chest. Had he just heard correctly?

"A-apology? Oh, Shu," he sighed morosely, sliding to rest his chin atop Shuichi's head, and breathed deeply of the strawberry colored hair that smelled of rain, searching desperately for any semblance of self-control. Could he pretend he hadn't heard, and simply enjoy Shuichi the way his body clamored for? No, he couldn't, he could never use Shu like that. "He really fucked you up didn't he?" he asked rhetorically, sometimes it was an inconvenience to have a conscience, and to be in love, but then Shuichi shifted to look at him with amazement painting his face, and Ryu thought that he could maybe wait a little longer to claim him, body, mind, and heart. "You never have to apologize to me like that," he said quietly to Shuichi's forehead.

And something clicked into place within Shu's battered heart, something he couldn't yet give voice to, but he knew, and he smiled against Ryuichi's skin, content to lie in the middle of considerable sexual tension just to be close to him. He would tell him, and soon, but first he needed the words. Shuichi had another song to write.

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Shuichi stared long and hard at himself in the bathroom mirror. He saw only a coward looking back at him. How difficult was it to say, "I love you Ryuichi," really? He frowned and nibbled on his lower lip in calculative frustration. He had said it every day, several times a day to Yuki, but somehow this was different. It was different because he hadn't planted himself into Ryuichi's life whether he wanted it or not. It was different because this wouldn't be an undertaking of all give and no return; it was different because they would be equals. It scared him senseless to think of being in the midst of balance, the thought of having someone who loved him and wasn't shy about saying it. Shu leaned his forehead against the smooth mirror in quiet contemplation. Suddenly, it came to him. Racing out of the bathroom and nearly cracking open his skull in the process when he slipped and fell on the hardwood flooring, Shuichi scrambled to find his lyric notebook, and began writing furiously. His pen flew across the page, and he was soon engrossed in his task, oblivious to the surprised sapphire eyes watching his movements curiously.

Some time had passed before Shuichi set his notebook down almost tenderly, and all but flung his pen across the room, narrowly missing the peeping Ryuichi.

"Shu-chan?" Ryuichi questioned cautiously, lest there be more projectiles prepared to launch at a moment's notice, "what are you doing? I've _never_ seen you so wired about a song."

Shuichi cracked open a bleary eye, good writing took a lot out of him, and managed a smile. "I had a damn good source of inspiration," he said with a smug expression, and stretched lean muscles as some of the tension ebbed away.

Excited too now, Ryuichi jumped up and down like the five year old he could be. "Ryu-chan wants to see! Pretty please Shu-chan?" he begged, eyes wide and pleading.

Shuichi smiled wickedly. "No, I'm sorry Ryuichi, but you'll have to wait for the concert."

Ryuichi stopped mid-bounce, and fell to the floor with an "oof."

"Concert? Whoa Shu, when are you having a concert? I thought the tour wasn't going to be until you finished your album. Are you done already? Why didn't you tell me!?" Ryuichi pouted indignantly.

"You're the first one I've told Ryu-chan," Shuichi soothed, joining Ryuichi on the floor, though with considerably more grace. "And it won't be a large venue, but I want you there. Two weeks from now, at Zepp Tokyo," he said, and there was a hint of something in his voice that Ryuichi couldn't quite place. "It's really important to me, Ryuichi," Shuichi said in a soft tone that held great significance, and allowed his hand to cover Ryuichi's as he spoke. He only hoped it would be enough time.

Puzzled, Ryuichi replied, "Of course I'll be there Shuichi. Why so serious?" he asked curiously, and squeezed the warm hand atop of his. "If you want me, you've got me, you should know that!" he laughed, and smiled softly at his exuberant companion. Sometimes it was easy to forget the trauma he'd endured to look at him, Ryuichi mused, watching the rays of sunlight filter through his hair, and wondered for the thousandth time how anyone could have hurt him.

He could understand the love, he could understand the desire to keep him close, and the urge to growl at anyone who looked at Shu the wrong way, but he could never imagine marring the pale, perfect skin in any way other than on accident tempered with heady passion. Ryuichi flushed to think of how he'd like to mark that neck, claim it, and he squirmed where he sat, and forced himself to think of other things. He really wanted to see that song, and schemed with Kumagoro while Shuichi rose to make dinner.

Ryuichi felt lucky to live with someone who could cook, take away got old after a while na no da, and Shuichi was always experimenting with something yummy. Plan 7, of having Kuma dance the Charleston while Ryu did back up and snuck away to see what Shuichi had written was stricken once the bunny reminded him that they had lost their music to the routine after making a hasty get away from fans that time in Los Angeles. Cheeky bunny, letting him get carried away before smashing his hopes.

"I didn't really mean it," Ryu said quietly, holding Kumagoro to his chest in apology, "I know your ideas are always better than mine, I just forget sometimes."

Shuichi was leaning against the doorframe watching the exchange and he smiled, spatula in hand as they made up.

"Ryu-chan, dinner," he said finally, retreating to the expansive dining room where he'd laid out their meal. He had learned something from Yuki after all. He surveyed his creation with satisfaction; he was no gourmet cook, but it was fun, and he hadn't set off a fire alarm in four months, well, five, counting the one he'd spent comatose.

Shifting his thoughts, Shuichi went to call for Ryu again, when he discovered his roommate, friend, and endless possibilities wolfing it down as fast as he could, pausing only to say "Itai!" when he burned his mouth on the tempura vegetables, fried rice and sautéed chicken.

Laughing aloud at Ryuichi's antics, Shuichi relaxed into the calming atmosphere as they simply enjoyed one another's company.

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One Seguchi Tohma rubbed the bridge of his nose, a rare sign of agitation, as his brother in law attempted to talk his way out of his certain fate. Tatsuha looked on helplessly as he witnessed firsthand his brother's illness.

"I never touched him! I don't know what you're talking about!" Eiri pleaded, and started violently when Tatsuha and Tohma each had an arm in hand.

"I'm sorry Eiri-san," Tohma said sadly, struggling with the feisty blonde, and reeled back in an explosion of pain that bloomed in his cheek. Tatsuha sent him an apologetic look as he got Eiri back under control, the author panting and sending what could have been a growl directed at Tohma.

They only had to hold him five more minutes, before the men in white came to retrieve him. This was underhanded and a violation of all trust Eiri had put in them, but it had to be done. As the two men struggled with the third, their combined strength proved adequate to restrain Eiri, despite his alternate threats and pleas. Tohma's aching cheek served as proof that Mika should not have come, despite her rather vehement protests to the contrary. He wearily released Eiri into the protection of the orderlies, and couldn't quite meet Eiri's accusatory gaze, reiterating over and over that it was for his own good.

Three days would decide Eiri's fate, and for his own sake as well as Shuichi's, he hoped they would treat him. Tohma went home dejectedly, falling into the comfort of his wife's embrace, and stayed within the shelter she provided until he could face himself again. He'd check on Eiri's status tomorrow, but for tonight he wanted to lose himself in her arms. For the first time that day, Tohma's lips met Mika's in a warm kiss. Here was the sanctuary he'd been so desperately searching for all along.

The next afternoon found one baffled Seguchi Tohma staring blankly at the electronic device in his well-manicured hand. Shindou-kun was planning a concert? He should have been the first to know of this, yet it appeared he was the last. The pop tart was fortunate that the blonde was in such high spirits, lest he find himself at the shacho's mercy. Evidently his cousin and Nakano-kun had been roped into an emergency, secret session for mysterious reasons that Shuichi had neglected to disclose even to his best friend. Tohma tilted his brilliantly blonde head as he considered this. Something was afoot, as it had taken much longer than usual to extricate the information from Suguru-kun. Shuichi was plotting something, and Tohma was determined to get to the bottom of it; it would certainly keep his mind off of Eiri's predicament for a while.

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"Cheers," they said, somewhat tipsy, and narrowly avoided splashing the contents of their glasses on one another. They seemed to have gotten a bit closer than the last time Shu had checked, but he certainly didn't mind. Things had gotten gradually better between them since the night of Ryuichi's foray into the bar, and Shuichi was immensely thankful for it, considering what he had in store for tomorrow night. He smiled at the thought, and leaned his head against Ryu's strong shoulder, giggling at the brunette's joke about the Catholic priest, Jewish rabbi, and Wiccan priestess.

"What rocks," he laughed heartily, a flicker of tears pricking at the corner of his eyes. It had been some time since he'd laughed so hard, and he had Ryuichi to thank for it. He sobered at the thought of where he might be, had this man not been there for him. He had a lot to be thankful for, Shu realized, and nuzzled Ryu's neck affectionately.

"That tickles!" Ryuichi all but squealed, and attempted to ignore the reactions the other man's closeness evoked in him.

They played around a while, and ended up in a tangle of arms and legs after a drunken game of Twister, which Shuichi lost much to his chagrin.

"Loser does the dishes," Ryuichi teased, wagging a finger in Shuichi's general direction.

"Oh fine, you sore winner," Shuichi laughed, stumbling onto legs that weren't entirely steady, and wobbled into the kitchen to tackle the glasses, and the blender. This endeavor went smoothly until he disassembled the blender, and began to clean it, his grip slipped in the hot soapy water, and sliced his right index finger on the blades.

"Ouch!" he yelped, jumping back away from the sink, and glared at the contraption as though it had insulted him.

Ryuichi ran in to see what had made Shu shout like that, and came upon blood and tears. "Oh Shu," he said worriedly, and dragged the pink haired boy to the faucet, where he ran cold water over the wound and dried it gently before tending to the cut with antibacterial ointment and a Kumagoro band aid, and a kiss for luck.

Shuichi's eyes were unreadable as Ryu took care of him, but they watched him intently all the while.

"You have to be more careful Shu-chan," Ryuichi admonished softly later, when they were watching a movie, snuggled next to one another on the plush sofa.

Shu refrained from comment at this, because he was about to take a hell of a risk the following night.

Ryuichi wandered into Zepp Tokyo the next evening, promptly at 8 o'clock, and wondered where everyone else was. Shuichi had taken off hours before, saying he had to get ready and had sent K over to bring Ryuichi to the venue. It seemed like he was the only one here, and that was strange. How was it a concert without an audience? He laughed at his train of thought, and took a front row seat. At least he didn't have to fight anyone for a good view. Front row and center baby, all the way. Beginning to fidget, Ryuichi's eyes were drawn upwards when commotion could be heard over the stage microphones. Hiro and Suguru flanked Shuichi, who was almost blushing even under all the theater makeup, and Ryuichi's jaw hit the floor as his mouth watered like Pavlov's dog. Shuichi was wearing a pair of his trademark short shorts, black with pink triangles breaking up the black, and a matching top that showed his bare midriff to great effect. The top left his shoulders open to the air, and Ryuichi's keen gaze. Matching triangles of hot pink fabric skated down the sides and silver grommets were laced with shimmery black string that displayed miles of pale satiny skin. He also wore arm-warmers of a similar design, and knee high boots that emphasized the lean muscles of his legs. Ryuichi was fairly hard in his seat, and groaned at the picture Shuichi presented. Suguru and Hiro smiled warily at one another in acknowledgement of their unpredictable lead singer's latest shenanigans. They had no idea of what he really planned to do.

Ryuichi swiftly came to the conclusion that he was the _only_ member of this audience, and sat up and paid attention, curious about what exactly was going on, but then Shuichi stepped up to the microphone, and parted his sakura pink lips, and sang.

"Breathlessly, anxiously, desperately I reach for you,

Oh golden god of distant days gone by, can you see me, feel me too?" Shuichi's eyes zeroed in on Ryuichi's at that moment, and Ryu lost the ability to breathe.

"I never thought I'd find you picking up the pieces, of me,

Yet there you stand, chasing the shadows with your smile," and the wicked grin that spread across Shuichi's angelic face left Ryuichi twitching in his chair, yet he sensed more warmth than searing heat in his gaze.

"Melt the wax off of my wings

And though like Icarus, I fall from your grace,

I'm not afraid to touch the sun.

I don't fear the fire; just let me burn in peace.

I may be eclipsed by the light of your brilliance

But I'm not afraid to touch the sun," entranced, Ryuichi watched Shu own the stage, and make it his.

"Be the ocean where I fall

And I'll gladly drown in those wildly churning waters

Where the moon meets the sun.

Strip away my apprehension," Ryu melted where he sat, as Shuichi slid to his knees, and parted his legs languidly, tossing his head back at the lyrics, before snapping to face him once more.

"My inhibitions flicker in the wake of your omniscient embrace.

I want to succumb to the siren's call of your voice,

And surrender to the morphine of your radiant kiss," and Shu touched his lips softly as he exhaled against the microphone; Ryuichi was spell-bound by the words falling from that perky, pert mouth.

"I'm not afraid to touch the sun,

I don't fear the fire; just let me burn in peace.

I may be eclipsed by the light of your brilliance,

But I'm not afraid to touch the sun.

Can we stay here in the enticing depths of humanity?

Please let me bask in the refuge of your warmth,

Of the careful strokes of lazy, whispered caresses,

That sing through your fingertips exposing my secrets inch by inch," here Shu teased him with the hint of flesh his microscopic shorts hid, revealing the skin for Ryuichi's eyes.

"I'll free-fall into the lightning storm behind your sparkling eyes,

And be overcome by the strength of the vibrant emotion.

I'm not afraid to touch the sun.

I don't fear the fire; just let me burn in peace.

I may be forever eclipsed by the light of your brilliance,

But I'm not afraid to touch the sun."

Shuichi finished the song on a strong, sweet note of unsurpassed clarity and resonance, and Ryuichi couldn't move. Shu jumped off stage, and plummeted to kneel before him, still connected to the stage mike, he spoke,

"Ryuichi, Ryu-chan, I love you," baring his heart before his band mates, and for the one person it matters.

Speechless, Ryuichi can only sit mutely when Shu leans in and kisses him, desperation flavoring his tongue. Unable to form the words, Ryu grabs Shuichi by the waist and drags him into his lap, his mouth and hands and urgency speaking for him. Hiro and Suguru were equally void of noise; Hiro nearly dropped his guitar as the full reality of the situation hit him. Hot damn, Shu found himself a man!

"Well that was unexpected," says a silent blonde haired figure in the back of the hall, and Seguchi Tohma tipped his hat to Shuichi, before chuckling to himself and exiting without another word.

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Author's Note: I'm so incredibly sorry it took me so long to get this chapter to you. Please try and find it in your hearts to forgive me. And if you'd like it, here's the Japanese translation for "Touch the Sun." Yes, I wrote this one too. I hope you enjoyed it.

**Taiyou ni Fureru**

**Iki o kirashi te, shi****n****pai sou ni, hisshi ni natte omai ha anata no tame ni tassuru**

**Tooi mukashi no ougon shin ara, anata mo omai o kanjiru omai o miru koto ga****deki masu ka?**

**Omai ha, omai no sakuhin o toriageru mitsukeru nante omotta koto ha nakatta**

**Shikashi, anata no egao de sutando no kage o oikakeru**

**Omai no hane o tokashi, wakkusu**

**Shikashi, ikarusu no you ni, omai ha anata no shinyou o shittsui**

**Omai ha, touch the sun koto o osore te i nai yo**

**Ha, mein no heiwa no hi o moyasu seru osore te ha ike nai**

**Anata no kido no hikari ga inpei sa reru koto ga ari masu**

**Shikashi, omai ha, touch the sun koto o osore te i nai yo**

**Umi ga doko ni ochiru**

**To omai ha yorokon de sono ranbou de ha, kakuhan suiiki oboreru yo**

**Koko de ha, tsuki ga taiyou o mitashi te**

**Sutorippu hanare te omai no fuan**

**Omai no yokusei o zenchi no eikyou de ukeireru chiratsuki**

**Omai ha anata no koe no sairen no yobidashi ni kussuru shi tai**

**To hareyaka na kisu no moruhine ni koufuku**

**Omai ha, touch the sun koto o osore te i nai yo**

**Ha, mein no heiwa no hi o moyasu seru osore te ha ike nai**

**Anata no kido no hikari ga inpei sa reru koto ga ari masu**

**Shikashi, omai ha, touch the sun koto o osore te i nai yo**

**Koko de, jinrui no miryoku no fuka sa ni taizai suru koto ha deki masu ka?**

**Douka omai o anata no atataka sa ni hitaru no hinan sa seru**

**Taida na sasayaki mashi ta aibu no sutorooku no uchi chuuibukai**

**Ha, okyakusama no yubisaki otsuujite, sukoshi zutsu jibun no himitsu inchi no** **roshutsu o utau**

**Omai ha muryou de okyakusama no me o kirakira sa se te, aki no haigo ni** **kaminari ni**

**To ha, azayaka na emotion no tsuyo sa ni attou sa reru**

**Omai ha, touch the sun koto o osore te i nai yo**

**Ha, mein no heiwa no hi o moyasu seru osore te ha ike nai**

**Omai ha eien ni anata no kido no hikari ga inpei sa reru koto ga ari masu**

**Shikashi, omai ha, touch the sun koto o osore te i nai yo**

There you have it folks. And I heard at a fanfiction panel I attended that I shouldn't include reader responses that are as long as the chapter, so I'll just thank each and every one of you for being kind enough to read and review my humble little story. You've really helped me keep writing, and I can't believe it's been since December since I posted a chapter. You have my deepest apologies. I bow to you all in gratitude.


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